would you refuse to on sick parade..?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by boris7, Apr 29, 2007.

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  1. Would you refuse to go on sick parade, when the CO wife was the unit MO..?...This happened with the KOYLI..in the mid 1960's
  2. Nope, I'd be there with " It's a strange sensation around my bell end Ma'am. It hurts, but not when i pee, nor do I have a discharge....could you have a look Ma'am"?
  3. What, have the COs wife handle my todger? Who do you think I am, the Adjutant?
  4. BF: It's my chod maam. I'd like you to have a look at it.

    MO: Hmmm (poke poke). There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with it. Quite the opposite. It's a perfectly healthy specimen.

    BF: Yes I know. I just thought you should see it.

    MO: Get out of my office!
  5. Classic! I'm going to do that to our unit nursey :D :D
  6. When I was a young TA subaltern we all dreaded the BK of a Northumbrian battery's wife seeing our bits and pieces. She would do 95% of the medical in 5% of the time allotted and then spend the rest of the time assessing our pods and tube...brrrr...
  7. I remember a guy in my TA unit being told by a PSI with a sense of humour "If you want a nurse to see your bruised dangly bits, go ask for Cpl *** (me)." Boy was he disappointed when he came into the JRC, said "Where's Cpl ***", and this hairy arsed squaddy (me) says "That's me, whaddya want?"
  8. Some people pay good money for that, I'll have you know!
  9. Rather show your tackle to the BK no doubt?
  10. Thank your lucky stars and unpromising Britsh CRs that you are now in Oz, you reject from the King's Division!
  11. AlienFTM

    AlienFTM LE Book Reviewer

    In July 1984 I followed a number of colleagues from my unit to the local Paracelsus Klinik for a big V to avoid letting the RAMC fondle my parts. The Herr Professor Doktor Stromenger (I first read it as Mengele and was rather pput out ...) did a very professional job. He explained that, because I was paying for it, I could have more local anaesthetic if it hurt. Hey, if the Salmon Trouts had it done on this much anaesthetic, roughy toughy squaddie Cpl Alien could handle it. Never occurred to me that being a Salmon Trout he might short-change me on the local anaesthetic.

    At the end of the procdeure, his (female) assistant came round holding a pair of tweezers with a couple of inches over overcooked spaghetti wriggling therefrom. I couldn't help but notice her Jackboots. "For you, Herr Alien, ze childsiring Days are over."

    All the REEMs who had gone before me had next presented themselves in my Pay Office walking like John Wayne and I knew where they'd all been. Corporal Former-Recce Alien wasn't going to be seen on the street humbled the way all these REEMs had and I marched out to the car straight-legged and proud. Parked up outside the MSQ and walked straight-legged through the gate. At which point all the neighbours stared and pointed, because I always JUMPED the gate.

    A couple of hours bedrest, then I pulled on some smart clobber and drove us down to Belfast Barracks where we were to meet a bus to Verden because Pay Services 1 Armd Div had organised a drinking session. I may have been ordered off the booze while me stitches healed, but no way was I missing a free booze-up. I parked up and joined the throng. When I sat on the kerb everyone asked if I was okay. When I told them I'd been under the knife about three hours previously, and why, I got a standing ovation.

    Three weeks later we were scheduled for a CFT. My stitches hadn't entirely heeled and I was seriously worried that I might lose a goolie on an 8 mile walk across country in full kit with weapon, webbing, helmet and 35lb pack, so I went sick.

    The RAMC Sergeant was a canny bloke (he kept the issue condoms under lock and key cos his RAMC juniors thought it funny to put pins through all the condoms). Since my RMO was a spinster, it was mutually agreed that it might be more appropriate if I saw the Skins' RMO who was a bloke. Sadly nobody offered me the Green Howards' RMO who was blonde, 25, straight out of training and would have married my youngest but he was only a year old. We used to visit the Dummersee Yacht Club on Wednesday afternoons. One day, doing capsize drills with a Green Howard instructor, he pointed to a well shapely figure on a sailboard, clad in a wetsuit. "See her? That's our RMO. She needed to borrow a wetsuit so I gave her one. I am never washing it again. PHWOOOOAR."

    "Out of your league, bonny lad: she fancies me nipper."

    So anyway, the Skins' RMO told his Sergeant to FOAD. I was the spinster's patient: let HER poke around with me nads.

    Well I have to say that she certainly seemed to enjoy it. Worse, when I got back to me unit, there was word out that the spinster Major had been having a very good time in company with my todger. Cow didn't excuse me me CFT though, did she?