I had a horrible dream the other night. I woke to find my head resting on the softest of warm pink pillows. When I sat up I discovered that those soft pillows were the biggest set of Bingo Wings this side of a Sumo westlers AGM Turns out this was in fact the real dream and I had re-lived an experience from my return from Bosnia many years before. It was my first day back after 6 months of coremecs, pivo, long drives, no sex and metal factories. I was told that I had to work for 2 weeks prior to my leave in case I flipped out in the KFC back home and assaulted everyone with a bargain bucket. Okay I thought so I accepted the invite into the Cpls Mess. They let us SNCO's in once in a while to show us how boring things are in the WO's and Sgt's Mess. Within an hour I was gutted as the lack of hardy drinking in Bosnia took its effect. I saw her instantly, she walked into the bar and the room shook like a scene from Twister. I knew she worked for the Naafi and she lived in the officers mess. She was FM (Fecking Massive) Her arrse was similar to a hippo's. I made a comment to my mate that one would need a plank tied to ones arrse before exploring her cave like flange. "Yuk can you poking that, you'd need a bag of flour to find the wet spot!" Several drinks later and a game of pass the ice cube did me in. I remembered no more. Bosnia had transformed me into a light weight drinker. It was about 4 am when I came to my senses. I felt the warmth of her naked flesh next to mine. The pillow was warm and comfortable, that was until I realise that the shape in my king sized bed was the rather large fat doris from earlier. Oh the shame! Her flabby bingo wing was now supporting my head. I almost passed out at the flashback of slam dunking her bulky flaps! When the first rays of light came peeking through the window, I saw them. Her bingo wings were massive and flabby, resting under her pink swollen frame on my bed! I trembled with shame for a few minutes before realising that I had a lazy lob on. Feck it, I though, I've done it once I might as well blow my biscuts now It took me 2 hours to sneak her out of the Sgts Mess block. I have never recovered from the site of those pink flabby chunks hanging below her arms So does anyone else have a mortal fear of the dreaded wings of death or stories of near death Bingo Wing experiences?