Would it be cheaper.....

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by blind_monkey, Aug 13, 2009.

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  1. 8 years inside....

  2. Divorce...

  1. To do 8 years inside but come out with my finances moderately intact, or get divorced and lose the lot?
  2. Are we talking bigamy here? If we are, when you come out you'll still be married to the first one. Have you considered murder? There must be someone on the site who will be up for it.
  3. Murder?? Good God no....

    Was thinking more along the lines of a hair-dryer accident in the bath, modified ignition circuit/fuel tank vapours etc....


    Horrific thought. Being manicled to one is bad enough - Monkey put finger in flame, Monkey got finger burnt...

    Defo not going there twice....

    Would a B&Q 10m extension reel in the bathroom look too sus?
  4. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I hear that an sudden fire in a shed is sufficient to get a reduced sentence - allegedly.
  5. Is there a quantity of Gas/Petrol that's considered "unreasonable" in Law?
  6. Is there a quantity of Gas/Petrol that's considered "unreasonable" in Law?
  7. Command_doh

    Command_doh LE Book Reviewer

    What about 'accidentally' slashing the throat of your significant other with a handy kukri, claiming you thought he/she was a 'big black ghost'? I hear thats fine, you can be a temporary mentalalist with no bother and you are found not guilty. Sorted.

    Anyway...8 years? Thats 1.5 years and a tag in real money.
  8. napier

    napier LE Moderator Reviewer

    Told my OH that if we ever divorced she'd end up under the patio. Realise now that telling her was a bad idea as it blows my 'crime of passion/PTSD' defence out of the window. Still, better to be tried by 12 than fleeced by 1.
  9. Look on the bright side, if you get divorced, you'll get to keep half your money: instead of the pittance she lets you have now...

    Hope this helps?
  10. Bigamy???

    No way, punishment is too severe.

    More than one mother-in-law.

    Couldn't even contemplate it.
  11. CountryGal

    CountryGal LE Book Reviewer

  12. Divorce is quicker, but the paperwork alone makes one yearn for a quiet stretch with Sky TV, some good books, 3 square meals a day and a room all to one's self, or indeed, a friendly butch companion who's got your back as long as you service him/her twice a week.
  13. Half? My God, I never thought she'd possibly settle for so little!
  14. Not far off the mark mate, A few years back a plods bint near Preston "topped" herself with a hedge trimmer another case for the tin-foil hat team?
  15. but if she "suddenly and mysteriously vanishes", about the same time as you do some home improvements how will she be able to tell anyone that you ever mentioned putting her under the patio in the first place?