Would do, wouldnt do, couldnt do

Doobi Doo Do Do Do ...

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#1
Eyes front ... not a thread about women!

When I meet people and they find out that I used to clear landmines and explosive ordnance for a living they seem to think I lack an elevator that reaches the top floor. They usually say that they couldn't do that for a living and that I must be either a loon or incrediably brave. Neither really as I have a piece of paper that discharged me from psychiatric care and I don't have a single brave bone in my body. Yes, what I did was an unusual job and yes it meant working in a hazardous environment. But for me (and all those that did the same work) it was just a technical job which could be challenging.

So that got me thinking; what would I do, what wouldn't I do and what couldn't I do as employment. For me it's:

Do Do (do dont dey):

Demining/EOD Technical Advisor

Would Do:

Sub aqua diving instructor, photographer, llama farmer, writer, David Attenboroughs job, sex therapist.

Wouldn't Do:

PCSO, traffic warden, H&S advisor, politician, army, RN, RAF.

Couldn't Do:

Firefighter, deep sea fisherman, police officer, prison officer, work in a hospital, para medic, scaffolder, chiropodist.

There's a few ... probably a load more but I need to think about. So what are yours .... bearing in mind it's in the NAAFI so if you could do 'female underclacker gusset adjustment specialist' go for it! :D
 
#2
Do DO

Nurse in critical care

Would do

Oiler-upper for Chippendales (dance group, not furniture) :D, Masseuse,Wine taster..............oh, and retire tomorrow if I had the chance

Wouldn't do

Ambulance service (take my hat off to you),Teacher

Couldn't do

Infantry soldier
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
Do Do

Deep Doo Doo pushing paper around to keep Government Departments happy.

Would Do:

Fulltime SSAFA/RBL Caseworker, flower arranger, TV news reader or weather reader, sports commentator, cricket scorer, ambulance driver, lingerie designer, foster parent.

Wouldn't Do:

PCSO, politician, journalist, call centre operative, lawyer, political researcher, think tank member, air stewardess.

Couldn't Do:

Firefighter, deep sea fisherman, police officer, prison officer, medical work in a hospital, para medic, scaffolder, chiropodist plus serving in HM Forces, pilot or any other career for which I'm too blind or too old.

That's what I could think of quickly.
 
C

cloudbuster

Guest
#4
Do do

Sit in an office monitoring 16 alarm systems so I can tell people to run around with their hair on fire when the rig is about to go dark/burst into flames/fall over and sink.

Would do

My supervisors job. Standing on my head. Which is why I keep setting a combination of the above-mentioned 16 alarms off as he's got a dodgy ticker.

Wouldn't do

Be the bloke who has to sort out the origins of one of the above-mentioned alarms; the sewage unit bunged-up alarm.

Couldn't do

Care for the elderly.
 
#5
Do Do
Dirty scrounging student doing a mickey mouse degree.

Would Do
HM Forces, absolutely anything, I'm not arrsed about officer or other ranks, just fancy getting involved!

Wouldn't Do
An office job.

Couldn't Do
An office job.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
Do DO

Shopkeeper

Would do

Pornographer, racing driver, astronaught.

Wouldn't do

Teacher, PSCO, Traffic Warden, Taxman, stripper.

Couldn't do

A degree, patience, non-violent conflict resolution.
 
#7
Do Do

Project/New Works Manager, Junior RLFC Coach.

Could Do

Diving Instructor Thailand, Freefall Instructor Califoooorniiiiyaaa !! P.E. Teacher and general "listening ear" at St Swithuns 6th Form College for very naughty girls.

Wouldnt Do

Police Officer/PCSO, AFCIO, Mental Health Worker, Sexual Health Worker, Camel Racer.

Couldnt Do

Anything that involved helping a child then having to watch as regulations allow said child to be released back into the very environment that is causing him/her harm, I could display only one reaction to this :x
Traffic Warden, or be a full screw at 45 and see my time out in the CQMS growling at nod's and dreading the day the letterbox rattles !
 
#8
Do DO

Unemployed/Unemployable, also now a STAB crow

Would do

STAB Trained Soldier, ARAB, Secret Agent, Cadbury's taste tester, Porn Star

Wouldn't do

Gay porn star, Animal Porn Star, experimental hormone therapy test subject

Couldn't do

Anything involving looking after kids. Or being near kids
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#9
Do Do:

Manager at a gun factory, STAB Armourer.

Would Do:

See above but for more money! Racing Driver, Airline Pilot, Girls Aloud's Gynacologist.

Wouldn't Do:

Anything in the RAF, PCSO, Traffic Warden, Rent Boy, any job at KentuckyMcBurgerKing, Royal Navy Regulator.

Couldn't Do:

Police Orrificer, anything within 120 metres of unsupervised children.

Edited to add:

Have done:

Media distribution agent (paper boy), Conference and Banqueting Assistant (Waiter), Go Karting Instructor/Marshal, Royal Navy Weapons Engineer, Domestic Energy Assessor, School Technology Department Technician.
 
#10
Do Do

Building/infrastructure design, project management, facilities management

Would Do

DJ, hill walking group leader, test drive Bugatti Veyrons.

Wouldn't Do

Anything to do with logistics (not my bag at all), parking warden, work in A & E, work in a ward for terminally ill patients. The last two groups of people are absolute saints and have my respect.

Couldn't Do

QS (too many numbers).
 
#11
Do Do

Army recruit


Could Do


Pilot, Security Guard, Infantry, Marines (if i was fit enough...)

Wouldnt Do

McDonalds, KFC or anything involving banks and businessmen :x


Couldnt Do

SAS, SBS, Binman
 
#12
Do Do:

Desk Jockey.

Would Do:

007 / SPOOKS type international man of mystery.

Wouldn't Do:

Prison bitch / Anything involving anything unsavoury being rammed up my arrse (Savoury is OK)

Couldn't Do:

Any form of Elderly Care Worker
 
#14
Do Do:
Land Acquisition, Negotiation

Would Do:

Rejoin the Army, Author, Mystery Pub Visitor (but for select breweries only), Farmer (but a very rich one), Huntsman.

Wouldn't Do:

Teacher (Mrs B is one and it is a terrible job), Anything dealing with feckless workshy B'stards, anything connected with politics, anything in the Law.

Couldn't do:

There is nothing I couldn't do except shrink my ego.
 
#16
Do do
Bark orders at naughty men.

Would do
Steriliser for paedophiles and child abusers.

Wouldn't do
Be a teacher or vicar.

Couldn't do
Deep sea diving.
 
#17
DO DO:

Transport Office Manager

Would Do:

F all if i won the Lottery, Girls Aloud love interest (yes they can fight over me),

Wouldn't Do:

H&S, PCSO, Nurse (Top job done by you all and should get a load more money) Mr Big's Cell mate, work for the council. Walk over the Park to Goodison!!!!,

Couldn't Do:

Walk over the Park to Goodison!!!!, work in a sweet shop, Live life on the Dole (earn your money)
 
#18
K13, that was sooooo spot-on. Have you been talking to him? Grumpy little cnut isn't he ! The only reason why the Grim Reaper hasn't taken him yet is because there are far better things to watch on the Shopping Channel. And you have to watch fat little cnuts like that. Every minute.
 
#19
Do Do:
Crap Inventory Manager job

Would Do:
Paramedic, Specialst Copper, First Aid Trainer, Kylie's gusset sniffer (Full time), Woolworths Customer Returns Manager

Could do:
Less work for more money, Prince Harry's PR advisor. Prime Minister (Abolish Tax on alcohol & introduce pink uniforms for the RAF)

Wouldn't Do:
Salesman of any sort (Slimy Ba5tards), Care worker(Bum wiper), anything to do with finance, retail, estate agent, Yawn! zzzzzzzzzzz!!!
 
#20
scrofula said:
K13, that was sooooo spot-on. Have you been talking to him? Grumpy little cnut isn't he ! The only reason why the Grim Reaper hasn't taken him yet is because there are far better things to watch on the Shopping Channel. And you have to watch fat little cnuts like that. Every minute.
:muhaha:
 

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