Worst Wife in the World

Oyibo

LE
Do you remember the good old days when a soldier was required to ask permission to marry?

And as an officer or SNCO one would have to let the poor fool marry a rancid money grabbing old tart from the garrison?

Fear ye not soldiers of the 21st century. You too can have slappers worthy of blokes who are on their chinstraps:

 
Last edited:

exsniffer

Old-Salt
I thought this was going to be another Harry and Meghan thread
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
My ex. had the biggest c*nt in the world....


Me.
Without getting into the laborious details, went from owning a house, new cars every 3 or 4 years, many 0's in the bank decent hols two or three times a year etc.etc. all from working away to earn a decent bounty & pay off the mortage to have it 'socially engineered' away, then, once everything was secured in her ownership, she called the rozzers because she was 'scared' of me and I was being beastly to her - got something akin to an ASBO (can't remember the exact term but based upon zero evidence and even my two lads who were still living there at the time protesting my innocence), with her having 'ownership' of the house, it was me that had to leave, collection of my things was by arrangement with the rozzers or my lads bringing stuff to me in the first house I could rent. Needless to say, I also lost many 0's from the joint bank account before I could move it to a sole account... ended up living in a tent for two weeks in Lincolnshire (that's the bit that really stung - Lincolnshire!) whilst I tried to find a job - I was self employed but to earn £30k a month I needed to spend £7k a month - which I didn't have....

Anyway, all good now - got a replacement Mrs. - even though she is Southern Irish, knew her from Khandahar in 2003, both lads still hate their mother (I always ask 'are you sure?') and especially despise the bloke she moved in to save her having to spend any of my hard-earned.
I've had to go back 'on the tools' but I enjoy it and can make decent-ish money, her family has a history of medical issues later in life so here's hoping! :thumleft:
 
Do you remember the good old days when a soldier was required to ask permission to marry?

And as an officer or SNCO one would have to let the poor fool marry a rancid money grabbing old tart from the garrison?

Fear ye not soldiers of the 21st century. You too can have slappers worthy of blokes who are on their chinstraps:

I don't think you were required to ask permission to marry? It would be in contravention of the ECHR. I was told that it was good etiquette when I married Mrs PA. As my OC at the time in Hong Kong was a very good chap, I wrote the letter. But in the unlikely event that he had said "no", I would have still carried out the dastardly act- more fool me.
 

Oyibo

LE
I don't think you were required to ask permission to marry? It would be in contravention of the ECHR. I was told that it was good etiquette when I married Mrs PA. As my OC at the time in Hong Kong was a very good chap, I wrote the letter. But in the unlikely event that he had said "no", I would have still carried out the dastardly act- more fool me.
ECHR is for limp wristed old fag hags on Mumsnet.

Real men would ask their Company Commander for permission and wonder why God let him die rather than the wife.
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
Probably a restraining order.
No, that can only be issued by a court, this was a plod thing, had to sign it and apparently it could be used as 'evidence' if she decided to fabricate a complaint again...
 
I don't think you were required to ask permission to marry? It would be in contravention of the ECHR. I was told that it was good etiquette when I married Mrs PA. As my OC at the time in Hong Kong was a very good chap, I wrote the letter. But in the unlikely event that he had said "no", I would have still carried out the dastardly act- more fool me.
I remember it being a courtesy, but if you wanted to wear uniform it was a requirement to ask permission.
 

Oyibo

LE
I remember it being a courtesy, but if you wanted to wear uniform it was a requirement to ask permission.
I think you're right on the 'courtesy' side. But I do wish the company commander had said "no".
 
Do you remember the good old days when a soldier was required to ask permission to marry?

And as an officer or SNCO one would have to let the poor fool marry a rancid money grabbing old tart from the garrison?

Fear ye not soldiers of the 21st century. You too can have slappers worthy of blokes who are on their chinstraps:

When ?

Knew a chap in the Army in 1987 who tried to marry a lass from Czechoslovakia , how she got to W. Germany then ? But he was told not to marry her. He still did, lost his vetting and left.
 

Oyibo

LE
When ?

Knew a chap in the Army in 1987 who tried to marry a lass from Czechoslovakia , how she got to W. Germany then ? But he was told not to marry her. He still did, lost his vetting and left.
Late '80s for me. But I think as @dingerr said it was more of a formality than a requirement.
 
I did the walk into the RSMs office when I had put in my notice to get married.
”Do we know this girl?” that is: another street walker. You can’t blame the regiment, they are just doing their best.
My only time to stand on my dignity and I took it. I milked the fact that her dad was a DI in the cops.
I am totally respectable.
Oh and just done 27 years of marriage with my bird!
 
Last edited:
I did the walk into the RSMs office when I had put in my notice to get married.
”Do we know this girl?” that is: another street walker. You can’t blame the regiment, they are just doing their best.
My only time to stand on my dignity and I took it. I milked the fact that her dad was a DI in the cops.
I am totally respectable.
Oh and just done 27 years of marriage with my bird!
Another bloke who can't afford to get divorced then.
 
When ?

Knew a chap in the Army in 1987 who tried to marry a lass from Czechoslovakia , how she got to W. Germany then ? But he was told not to marry her. He still did, lost his vetting and left.
Didn’t the ‘Soviets’ send a few likely lasses over to target young men in khaki, albeit they would’ve preferred as higher up the food chain is possible?
 
My first wife.
Fat, whiny, couldn't cook, crap in bed, family of complete *********, and about as much use as tits on a fish.
She gave me an ultimatum once, I was essentially full time with the TA, and was off away with them constantly.
"It's me or the Army" she said.
A quick nanoseconds thought, I saw my chance and off with the Army I fucked. Spoke to the Badge and the OC and was on back to back courses for about 6 months.

I'm am forever in their debt.
 
No, that can only be issued by a court, this was a plod thing, had to sign it and apparently it could be used as 'evidence' if she decided to fabricate a complaint again...
Possibly a harassment order? Kept on file at the nick for a period of time & added to any subsequent prosecution IIRC...
 

Oops

War Hero
@OneTenner set the ball rolling

I knew when the phonecall started with
" Mr Oops, I have armed officers outside your house, come out with your hands showing"
The marriage wasn't particularly
'meant to be'...

Good job they'd put the firearms marker on the wrong address...

Top tip, identify and befriend ( rapidly) the first Firearms officer who rolls his eyes and says 'unlucky mate' when after tapping em on the shoulder, so to speak, you happen to mention ones' missus might be on her third bottle of red of the evening, and gets somewhat 'emotional' when her daughter's would rather be with their Dad cos they know what's coming...
Thank feck the FEO and HQ were more than able to see through her attacks, verbal and physical.
I'm sure it helped the Judge to award 'joint custody' of the house I'd built, mortgage free, blood sweat and tears, even after the divorce came through, but before it was sold 50/50 split as I'd first proposed...despite her starting off skint and laden with Card debt
Living under the same roof as a family whilst newly divorced was a surreal experience in itself, but as my Lawyer pointed out, I'd done nowt wrong, so there was no reason to vacate my own home.
I'm sure I got lucky that day.

There were some good times in our 15yrs , but by feck my corporate businesswoman missus would've been up on a charge faster than her fat ankles could've carried her if she spoke to her underlings owt like she addressed me.

The hardest part was taking the one piece of advice I've ever stuck rigidly to for over a decade now....
'Never, ever, despite how much sh*t gets chucked at you, refer in derogatory terms your young kids' Mum in front of them.....'

They're 21 and 16 now, it's 11 years since the divorce, here every day and only last week I heard;
"Dad,we've been talking, we get why you stuck around so long"
She tried on many occasions to move em away from the North West, knowing I'm tied to my job and wouldn't be able to maintain contact. Being skint,smelly and generally unable to fulfill 'normal' fatherly duties I could never compete on presents, holidays, Christmas etc...
Strange how whenever a mention of a promotion and relocation, or a new bloke on the scene was met with....
"Can we come and live at your house Dad?"
Of course the CSA would've been more than interested in that arrangement..
14 investigations in 17 months by every Govt Agency I could be held accountable to, business and personal did get rather wearing.
All anonymous tip offs of course, anyone would think someone was holding a grudge or summat.
Couldn't be the Ex missus, I always give her a cheery wave whenever our paths cross, it's never returned!
 
If you really want a memorable marriage, make sure you marry someone with mental disorders, like bipolar and Borderline together. If they're self medicating with NHS happy pills, booze and class A drugs that's even better.
 

New Posts

Latest Threads

Top