Worst walt you have ever seen!

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Soldier_5, May 15, 2006.

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  1. Ok guys. what is the worst walt you have ever seen in person, especially in public.

    We have one lad at otc who went on a sigs course at blanford and turned up to some posh mess do with an SAS tie on!
  2. Probably everyone from UOTC's the length and breadth of the country.
  3. ha! very funny... in what way are we all walting then?
  4. I think you will find that about 75% of Ocdts at UOTCs have no ambitions to join the army and are there to enjoy the social side, adventure training and general banter. So I don't think they could be called walts.

    On the other hand we do have a minority of extra keen ones who want to get TA commissions and generally chat about cadet walt stuff.

    The others are either joining the regs or in the process or doing rcb so I wouldn't call that beinga walt.

    On the other hand tco, you could be just taking the michael and then I sincerely apologise for this serious response!
  5. nope not taking the piss. i want hear the best and worst walt stories, people have witnessed!
  6. OTC is indeed honeypot for cnuts with endless tall tales. One guy springs to mind who had the ability to drone on constantly, through every bus journey, the history of his various attachments to just about every branch of the Army and RM. Unfortunately there was always a flock of cadets either too polite or naive to tell him where to go!

    And of course he turned up to every excercise clad head to toe in Webtex.
  7. Edited as my fingers are covered in fanny batter.
  8. I dont know if this is a walt or not, but a few years ago there was a mongol teenager who lived nearby, he was obsessed with the army and he always dressed in greens, complete with a beret and a toy gun. He spent his days marching up and down the street and everytime someone came down the street he would dive head first into the nearest garden, do a sort of roll, then crawl on his tummy while shouting 'forward men'. Then he would 'shoot' at you as you passed. Completely harmless but stark raving mad. It was even funnier when his mum used to shout him in and he would shout back 'yes sergeant major!' :lol: :lol:
  9. Sounds more like he is possessed by demons :twisted:
  10. There was a young 2Lt that kept turning up on our Officer training weekends, he had not long finished the course himself but none the less felt it his duty to come and make sure none of us suffered from insominia by regaling us with his battle stories from Sandhurst, which began to sound more like Nam! We would come and obsuve exercises dressed in c95 trowsers with white service dress shirt and V neck wolly pully, excelent just what you need standing over you when you are trying to impress the DS with your close ops skills. Not really a compleat walt still a tube none the less! Still not sure why the DS would let him come on these weekends! Anyone who thinks they may remember / know this bloke, hes the one that keep harping on about signet rings.
  11. Back in the dark ages I was <blush> in the ATC. Our derring do, dashing and all round fighter ace of a Sqn Ldr (who doubled up as a Biology teacher when not shooting down assorted Fockes, Migs or UFOs) had a dit for every event. And he starred in all of them. Now, <bigger blush> I come from a crab family and even at the tender age of 11, these dits had a ring of plastic rather than crystal to them. Come our first flying session and our gallant leader decided he would take the back seat in the cutting-edge fighter-interceptor known as the Chipmunk, and give the pilot the benefit of his combat experience.........He was, I'm sure, trying to stride manfully from the ready room to the aircraft, but the effect was slightly spoilt by the fact that he'd got his helmet on back to front, had the intercom cable smacking him in the face at every step, and had tightened up the straps of his 'chute whilst sitting down. It was more Max Wall than The Blue Max as he crabbed (!) out to the aircraft like a man sporting a double hernia and vasectomy, and was further exacerbated by the juvenile piping treble voice of Rickshaw shouting "You cnut!" from the window. I left the ATC shortly afterwards.........
  12. In Oct 03 having just got back from det, Mrs Bagster suggested a last minute holiday so off we went to Turkey. All went swimmingly with much drinking and shagging, until the flight back, when we were queueing up to get into the airport only to be barged out of the way by some real fat cnut with a bergen with desert DPM cover, along with his fat missus. One of the other holidaymakers queuing up behind us actually said "oh, he must have just got back from Iraq!" He turned and just winked at her!!!!!!!

    I couldn't fukcing believe what I had seen. As someone who had really just come back from Iraq, I pointed out to the nice young couple behind us that NO ONE who was in the military and had been on Telic would EVER carry a desert DPM Bergen instead of a suitcase. I wanted to confront him about his recent "experiences" but Mrs Bagster, being the voice of reason, said that he was a prick who wasn't worth wasting breath over.
    Wish I'd had a chance to speak to the prick.

    BTW, if this posts twice, haven't got a clue why!!! My posts are just doing that at the moment.
  13. Worst walts, has to be airsoft walts who tried to invade here a while back.

    Worst walt I have seen are proberly cadets full stop they are just too young to know least they are doing something compared to the fat pie eating chairborn airsofters.
  14. For some reason I was in Bristol. I can't remember if it was the slave trader's annual bash or why I was there but I was on a train heading back to Middle Wallop. I was a hardened battle scarred veteran of several conflicts, mainly in Andover but I had attended a 56 day course at MCTC so wasn't as green as some with the equivalent amount of service.

    It was a compartment train and a smoking carriage with an attractive female so seemed the ideal place to plonk my arrse. All was sweetness and light and if there had been mobiles about then, I would have definitely had her number. The happy couple were disturbed by a tall streak of the proverbial carrying a similar army sausage to mine and he butted into the conversation. The female smiled, the sort of smile, minutes before you are going to throw up but I left her to listen to the shite that this highly trained RMP was coming out with. I checked my watch and made a good prediction at how long he had been in the army but the shite just got better and I even joined in.

    He asked me if I was in the army and as I was carrying an army sausage, I thought it unwise to deny it. I was not used to such powers of deduction and just wondered at his grasp of criminology. I answered in the affirmative and he then showed me his 'warrant card' which was in fact his ID Card with his thumb over it. A simple mistake to make, if you are simple and he was. He then told me he could arrest me if he wanted to but he was going to let me off. Of course I was eternally grateful and to show my infinite gratitude, I told him that if he didn't change compartments , I would throw him out the window. He squared up to me and I opened the compartment door and booted him out.

    It was a selfish act as RMP Walts on the lines cause as many delays as the wrong sort of leaves and I did consider the welfare of my fellow passengers. I continued my journey and did get the girl's home phone number but it came to nothing as she lived miles away and nice as she was I couldn't be arrsed to bimble halfway round the UK and be told not on the first date.