I know we've catalogued what wives Say, but have we got a collection of what they actually do? There is of course a reason why I'm asking this: Missus and I have the day off; she persuades me to finally take a shower. I get in the shower, leave the door open. Not a minute later, she comes in, sits down on the bog, unleashes a huge smelly No. 2 - and has washed her hands and is out of the door less than 30 seconds later. This, of course, leaves me rather perplexed, and also trying to wash myself with one hand while holding my nose shut with the other. Why do wives do this? Girlfriends never do! What are your experiences with these strange creatures? I believe this may be an instant candidate for the ARRSE hole.