Worst things wives Do

#1
I know we've catalogued what wives Say, but have we got a collection of what they actually do? There is of course a reason why I'm asking this:

Missus and I have the day off; she persuades me to finally take a shower. I get in the shower, leave the door open. Not a minute later, she comes in, sits down on the bog, unleashes a huge smelly No. 2 - and has washed her hands and is out of the door less than 30 seconds later.
This, of course, leaves me rather perplexed, and also trying to wash myself with one hand while holding my nose shut with the other. Why do wives do this? Girlfriends never do!

What are your experiences with these strange creatures?

I believe this may be an instant candidate for the ARRSE hole. :mrgreen:
 
#3
They marry squaddies.

Nuff said.
 
#5
Wives Fcuk knows im not stupid. But i like

"Hunny i did your ironing for you"

THREE Hours later my trousers still look like The london Underground.

&

"I filled your car (1.9TD) up and now its broken down." - "Okay what happened." - "Well i put the 'petrol' in paid the man and as i was pulling out of the garage it cut out!"

KNOBBER!
 
#6
My ex and I had a small spat as I was going to S Armagh. She opened the front door and screamed at me down the street... "I hope the provo's get you..you bsatard!" Then the necky cow complained to the OC I wasn't writting or talking to her. The cnut got rtu'd after that. :twisted:
 
#7
The reason wives are like this and girlfriends aren't is because by the time you've convinced us to marry you, our brains have turned to cr*p listening to your 'manly' whining and tolerating your annoying habits.
 
#8
HAHAHAHA!!! Whining Coming from a split. Thats Prize. I cant breathe with out havin The Dutchess of Whinge bag opening up on me!
 
#9
tigerbaby said:
The reason wives are like this and girlfriends aren't is because by the time you've convinced us to marry you, our brains have turned to cr*p listening to your 'manly' whining and tolerating your annoying habits.
Whatever luv, :wink:
 
#10
So far have not met a guy who doesn't act like more of a biatch than a girlie with pms! Men! You can all think you're rough and tough but when it comes down to it my 7 year old daughter has more wit and back bone than most of you...and that's me being kind :D
 
#11
tigerbaby said:
So far have not met a guy who doesn't act like more of a biatch than a girlie with pms! Men! You can all think you're rough and tough but when it comes down to it my 7 year old daughter has more wit and back bone than most of you...and that's me being kind :D
All these men you've met aren't called Julian are they?
 
#14
tigerbaby said:
So far have not met a guy who doesn't act like more of a biatch than a girlie with pms! Men! You can all think you're rough and tough but when it comes down to it my 7 year old daughter has more wit and back bone than most of you...and that's me being kind :D
Some brave cnut must have knocked you up about 8 years ago! Must have been a 'Shoot & Scoot' merchant! It must be hard being a single-mum.
 
#15
I reckon she's a rug muncher with more facial hair than me after 3days in an OP. Wind Your neck in you Vomit. The day i meet a woman that doesnt winge im gonna send her back to ARGOS because she is obviously defective.
 
#16
Rhabdo said:
......of what they actually do? :
......or, indeed, what they DON'T do:

1. Swallow
2. Take it up the dung-trumpet
3. Shut up
 
#17
Nope but there was one called Arnie.... I swear he was worth it!!! Fact is when it comes to having to put up with sh*t from the other half, men have got it easy. Accepting a man into your life is a lot like adopting a child (make that baby - kids can be taught!) you want one that looks cute, isn't too fat or skinny, makes you smile, and shuts up when satisfied!!
 
#18
tigerbaby said:
Nope but there was one called Arnie.... I swear he was worth it!!! Fact is when it comes to having to put up with sh*t from the other half, men have got it easy. Accepting a man into your life is a lot like adopting a child (make that baby - kids can be taught!) you want one that looks cute, isn't too fat or skinny, makes you smile, and shuts up when satisfied!!
At least men make sense, women are; to put it bluntley - Fcuking mental
 
#19
Are you turning?... This is really an opening line for "sorry guys there's something I've been meaning to tell you..." :lol:
 
#20
tigerbaby said:
Are you turning?... This is really an opening line for "sorry guys there's something I've been meaning to tell you..." :lol:
Don't get confused sweetie. I suppose actually engaging your brain is a little tough.
Anyway, I meant that as a man I have it somewhat harder dealing with a woman than a woman has dealing with a man.
 

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