Worst thing youve said or done to a burd

#1
I was stuck watching the usual crap on BFBS (they really should do porn) when Nip/Tuck came on. Not being familiar with this US contribution I was sceptical about it's soap opera style credentials. But with the other channels offering the usual crap I carried on.

Then all of a sudden, in the midst of all the dodgy soft-focussed chick wannabe porn, this bloke, who I assume was one of the nipper/tuckers, told the burd he would only shag her with a bag over her head. She only fcking did it!!!! Fantastic.

So what's the worst thing you've said to a burd/made a burd do?
 
#4
i've let a cheeky guff go when a bird has been giving me head

i've called a bird's mum's name out in mid shag and the sister
 
#5
stabandswat said:
Worst thing ever said to a Bird?




"I DO"
bollox................................................. too late :x :x :x :x
 
#8
not said by me but by a mates 4 year old son -

mother - do these leggings make me look fat :?: :?: :?: :?:

son - no its your fat bum & big legs that make you look fat.

tried my best not to BUT could not stifle it :clap: :lol: :clap: :lol::clap: :lol::clap: :lol:
 
#9
stabandswat said:
I reply to "Does my arse look big?"



"Yes"
You know that is so typical isn't it? They ask you if such and such looks OK so you carefully say 'no'. Then you get it in the ear. Next time you say 'yes' and for some reason you still get it in the ear.
 
#10
I know. My wife keeps telling me to stop lying, to tell the truth etc. Seems she never wants the truth when it comes to her but if I lie she tells me I'm lying to save the very argument we end up having anyway!!
 
#15
Worst thing I've said to a burd?

Of course I love you.....

With hindsight, I wish I'd told the girl to get the fcuk out of my life before she ruined it........

Fcuking welsh girls...Snakes with t1ts!
 
#17
greenied on her blouse at highschool cos i found out she snogged another bloke. fcuking tramp. would have been better if id have hit my target and got her in the hair.

iv grown up alot now
 
#19
I once picked up a lovely fat blonde bird outside the local club and in the paraletic state I was in was dragged back to her parents house to see to her. On entering, I managed to stagger into the living room and trip over her coffee table, smashing it all over the floor. Unharmed, but under a barrage of abuse from said bird, I made my apologies and was sent upstairs. Unfortunately, family pictures adorned the walls and whilst sliding up the wall in my drunken state, I managed to knock a number of them bouncing down. Under yet more abuse, I was sent into her parents room to "get ready" whilst she went into the bathroom. Dutifully I began to undress, but before she could return alcohol got the better of me and I fell asleep. And pissed the bed.

Funnily enough... I never did get invited back.
 
#20
Arranged a lads holiday three months before said holiday and sprung it on my (now ex, strangely enough) girlfriend three days prior to going.
 

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