Worst/seediest Nightclubs/"Niteklubs"

Before you get to the Urban E & E, you get captured. We've all been in them... licensed toilets usually calling themselves "Niteklubs"; mine have been The Owls and The Rhythm Station in The Shot, Sammy's in Exmouth and more or less all of Union Street. There are others, but I'm getting old and the current Mrs reads this, so I'll be discreet... :oops:
So, what are the worst clubs you've been in and what memories have you got? (if any)
Brontes in Ripon,

Sticky floors and a step down on the way out to make pissed squaddies trip.

a dance floor with a garden fence around it and gagging bogs



Book Reviewer
Cha Cha's in Fally.
Zum Landsmun in Munster

Mad Dogs in Wanchai

Sin Bin in Med Hat

Gatsby's in Reading

Chaplin's in Andover
The Dome- Sennelarger Strip
Savoys- Paderborn

The Dome- Dover

These are just a few memorable locations noted for their watered down spirits and lager,sticky floors and dodgy music......and dodgy women(that word is used as a loose description...as were their morals and knickers)!


Cheeks in Aldershot. Floors so sticky you were bare foot after 5 paces, quite possibly some of the most revolting bogs in the world and full of horrible fat stinking hippocrockagrillapigs.

Chicagos in Windsor the sinks behind the bar used to stink of sick, even on an afternoon when in there watching the footie and again filled to the brim with truffle hunting swamp donkeys of the highest order.
Caddilacs - Bielefeld
The Dome - Sennelager
Rauls - Belize
Stickies (Coach House)- Amesbury
The moon "nightclub" - Glasgow

ended up there after a night out on town, some kid snorting coke off the urinal (trough style) while i was pissing, sticky carpeted floor, heffers dancing in day-glow...
Scabs in Catterick.

Fagins in Colly.

JB in Warminster.

All had the compulsory items of minging/broken/shitfilled/vomitfilled bogs.

Over priced and watered down drinks and of course uglymuntinglardarsedhorrorpigs.
The State - Liverpool
The Crown - Limervady
Century 2000 - Southsea
Fagins/Slipstream - Colly
Rumpelstiltskins - Monchengladbach

All proper sh*t tips when I look back now, what was I doing?
I omitted Saxons in Brecon, circa 1992, complete with "Clarence" six foot of skinny cross eyed Welsh womanhood and the Crystal Rooms, where all the bouncers spoke with broad Hereford and like to give the impression they were ex "THEM".
Cleopatra's, AKA 'Clatty Pat's' in Glasgow. Truly, truly, fcuking awful.
Gatsby's in Reading? You utter b4stard, I thought I had blanked that from my mind for ever!

In no particular order:

Sindlesham Mill


Joe Bananas (Camberley)

The one in Frome...Mc-something with the 5 star burger van (not) outside

Nite Owl (Penally/Tenby)

Tuxedo Junction (Newcastle)

Tropicana (Dundee - I think it's Tropicana; remember "Uniformed services night on a Wednesday? All the nurses, WPCs, traffic wardens and on one memorable occasion a female fire-fighter, you could shag?)

Klute (Durham)

The one at Longleat...Oskars??

The one under the bridge in Bristol, I'll say Gold's. Perhaps a member of the GVA mess can help me out there?

Really looking at that lot, it is a wonder I managed to make parades much...

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