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Worst or most useless pressie?

Ok the kids have demolished the house, the dog has been sick from stealing chocolate, so what is the pressie that made you go WTF? For me has to be the slippers im in plaster till March so why?
I got a Bible?????? W.T.F. was my Nan thinking?
Wife still sulking, as I wrapped a brick up and placed it inside 7 boxes and wrapped each one individually( used 12 rolls of sellotape), when she finally got it out to find a painted brick with "Your presents behind the sofa" written on it. Proper strop till i threatened to take the fecking thing back to the jewellers.
I've got one present this year, so by default it counts as both worse, most useless and best. It's a painting by an 11 year old. 'S nice actually.
None this year, thank God. But a few years ago my mum bought me some cufflinks. Not that bad except I was on duty up Troodos in Cyprus, plus I didn't own a double cuff shirt. Thanks mum, you sure know how to brighten up Christmas on duty.
two condoms in the box I got sent for telic 11, obviously they have not seen the clerks we have, or the detached window licking platoon as they get called!
I just gave Mrs Iron money to buy clothes and cosmetics at the weekend and wrap up her self as she always gets a bag on with what i buy her.

Shes still p*ssed off with the dishwasher i bought two years ago and the VAX hoover the year before that, but their still going strong and she's had plenty of use out of them.

Anyway Scotty why are you out the kitchen, surely theres women things to can be doing....hop to it :twisted:
I called my mother before opening my prezzie. She asked if my dressing gown fitted and I duly informed her that I had not opened the prezz.

She immediately apologised for ' letting the cat out of the bag'.

The same cat has been 'in the bag' for the last four years and all are identical.
mother dear got me pyjamas. and a fucking selection box. every sodding year since i was 4 ive had a fucking selection box. i want to kill the soppy old duffer with a curly wurly.

gf got me bourne ultimatum and box set of the indiana jones films. mega!

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