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Worst lyrics EVER

The other day I was driving up the M1 when Mrs. Vegetius (for some unknown reason) put a Meatloaf CD on the car stereo. Now, as a rule, I'll admit to occasionally enjoying the cheesy opera-rock warblings of the chubby Canadian popster. In a sort of ironic way, of course, as well as making the obvious jokes about what exactly he wouldn't do for love. Mrs. Veg reckons it's ****, I think it's all about not being prepared to go on a diet, it's a Mars & Venus kinda thing I suppose.

Anyhow, I was singing along to the bits I could remember from "Two outta Three Ain't Bad" (where we have to suspend our disbelief and imagine a scenario whereby a hot rock chick is begging an eighteen-stone man in tight leather trousers and a baggy silk shirt from leaving her) when the following lyric pops up:

There ain't no Coup de Ville hiding in the bottom of a crackerjack box


I know that a CdV is a big American car, ergo I know that you couldn't fit one in a small box. So, can any Meat-afficianados help here, or even better please submit a worse popular music lyric?


Wings: 'In this ever changing world in which we live in...'

Moonlight shadow; 4 am in the morning...

Tautology. Really does grip me.

I'll get my coat.
Orrfff one that gripes me beyond belief is the all round do-gooder 2nd son of God - Bono.
From the song Elevation "A mole, digging in a hole"

WHAT!?!?!? 8O How on earth does that sentence warrant a place in a rock/pop song?


Book Reviewer
Surely, the winner is 2 Unlimited with the infamous sh!te song:

"No, No. No, No, No, No. There's no lyrics" repeated ad nauseam in an annoying euro techno beat.

They should be shot for the benefit of mankind.


Book Reviewer
Or that fat woman Macy Gray warbling about some bloke she wants to rut singing a line about her world crumbling when he is not there ("I try" is the name of the song, I am told). It actually sounds like:

"I wear goggles when you are not here!".

Sh!te, utter boring and nonsense sh!te.
Private_Pike said:
Steve Miller- The Joker, a line that includes " the pompetance of love"???? 8O
True Pike, thats slightly iffy, but he then more than made up for it with "I really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree" :D


This is a classic, my vote is for...

Desree - Life

I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in the park
When there's no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news

I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders
I keep a rabbits' tail
I'll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there
Bungee jumping, I don't care

So after all's said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun
If you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world
In a beautiful balloon
Its a testament to the brilliance of Marc Bolan, that he could write lines such as:-

"She's my woman of gold and she's not very old"


"She's faster than most and she lives on the coast"

But still turn in a classic, despite plumbing the depths of alliteration.
^ Crap lyrics can be great. If that makes sense.

However, I would like this thread to become a terrifying compendium of lyrics that are just plain crap.
shakira in wherever whenever...
the lyric is mostly utter gash, but the best line obviously being "lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse the for mountains"

now call me old fashioned, but even the queerest of queer man is NOT gonna mistake a booby for a mountain is he?

queen - bohemian raphsody is nonsensical genius from start to finish

pink - just like a pill
you're just like a pill instead of making me better you keep making me ill....
ok, is a pill not suppose to MAKE you better, not ill?

ironic by alanis morrissette - obviously not at all ironic, just crap things that happen.. little fcuk ups if you will, not irony (typical american)

and what was that one by the tamperer chimney on her head or some suck cack

i spend way to much time listening to music so i WILL be back with more later
Marvin Gaye's Save the Children

It's even worse when he's singing it:

I just want to ask a question
Who really cares?
To save a world in despair
There'll come a time, when the world won't be singin'
Flowers won't grow, bells won't be ringin'
Who really cares?
Who's willing to try to save a world
That's destined to die
When I look at the world it fills me with sorrow
Little children today are really gonna suffer tomorrow
Oh what a shame, such a bad way to live
All who is to blame, we can't stop livin'
Live, live for life
But let live everybody
Live life for the children
Oh, for the children
You see, let's save the children
Let's save all the children
Save the babies, save the babies
If you wanna love, you got to save the babies
All of the children
But who really cares
Who's willing to try
Yes, to save a world
Yea, save our sweet world
Save a world that is destined to die
Oh, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Oh, oh dig it everybody

Annie Lennox - No More "I Love You"s

I used to be lunatic
From the gracious days
I used to be woebegone
And so restless nights
My aching heart would bleed
For you to see
Oh but now...
(I don’t find myself bouncing home whistling
Buttonhole tunes to make me cry
What, in the name of all things lyrical, is a "Buttonhole tune"? :?
Ok Veg, if its lyrical shite you want, the scrapings from the bottom of the barrel must include The Shamen - Ebeneezer Goode

"E's are good, E's are good, he's Ebeneezer Goode, anybody got any vera's? luuuvly!" 8O

feckin dross
DozyBint said:
Annie Lennox - No More "I Love You"s

I used to be lunatic
From the gracious days
I used to be woebegone
And so restless nights
My aching heart would bleed
For you to see
Oh but now...
(I don’t find myself bouncing home whistling
Buttonhole tunes to make me cry
What, in the name of all things lyrical, is a "Buttonhole tune"? :?
Dozy, it may be the politest phrase I have ever come across that describes a fart! :-D
Private_Pike said:
The Happy Mondays- Step On:

" You talk so hip,
You're twisting my melon, man" :roll:
To be fair to the monstrously ugly baggy types, they were being ironic.

My offering:

We're functioning automatic
And we are dancing mechanic
We are the robots
We are the robots
We are the robots
We are the robots
Good old Kraftwerk...never beaten.
Was it Kraftwerk who were responsible for the indescribably bad " Einstein a go-go"? To be fair most Euro trash offerings have truly abyssmal lyrics. I can't remember the exact words but The Cartoonies offered something along the lines of the " ooh ee wallallalal bing bong" variety.

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