Worst Hotel in the World

crazy_chester

Old-Salt
By coincidence they'd just finished the Wellington Hotel when I was working in Warri (2005 -2006). It was like the Burj al Arab compared to the others in Warri. Government Ekpempolo use to meet with the military leaders there to give them their brown envelopes.

Katsina - you have my sympathies.
Your assessment of the Welington is 100% correct - I was an attendee at several "after parties" from the Wellington held onboard security vessels.

It put our friday nights in the Kingfisher into perspective
 

crazy_chester

Old-Salt
By coincidence they'd just finished the Wellington Hotel when I was working in Warri (2005 -2006). It was like the Burj al Arab compared to the others in Warri. Government Ekpempolo use to meet with the military leaders there to give them their brown envelopes.

Katsina - you have my sympathies.
Your assessment of the Welington is 100% correct - I was an attendee at several "after parties" from the Wellington held onboard security vessels.

It put our friday nights in the Kingfisher into perspective
 

Oyibo

LE
Your assessment of the Welington is 100% correct - I was an attendee at several "after parties" from the Wellington held onboard security vessels.

It put our friday nights in the Kingfisher into perspective
Have PM'd you
 

Daxx

MIA
Book Reviewer
I think this may have more potential than the Airport thread - No international standards for hotels of course. I'm going to kick off with a couple in Warri, Nigeria:

The King Wilkinson. Have a relaxing dip in the pool after a hard day's work:

View attachment 495540

The King Wilkinson not to your taste? Try the sumptuous accommodation at The Noblemen hotel (but at least I found a supply of Castle Lager):

View attachment 495541
I've stayed in worse places while 'on duty' :)
 

RBMK

War Hero
Britannia Hotel, Stockport (on the A6).
A well known doss house for asylum seekers who hang about the place muttering in foreign languages and looking vaguely threatening. Permanent smell of weed, damp rooms, broken furniture, pig ignorant staff. Bed sheets not washed between visitors -- just ironed with the stains on them.

I know this because some conference delegates were mistakenly booked in there last year ratherr than a similarly named hotel in Manchester.


A close second to this is the Liverpool Adelphi (also run by Britannia Hotels). The Adelphi used to be fantastic in the 70s and 80s. Now it's a drug riddled dump full of drunks. Had the joy of having a demonstration stand at an event there. They allowed a coach party of pensioners through the exhibition hall, who stripped every stand of pens, notepads sweets etc.

The lunch food was so bad that we went out and brought back pizza and fish & chips for the crew.
 
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jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
Britannia Hotel, Stockport (on the A6).
A well known doss house for asylum seekers who hang about the place muttering in foreign languages and looking vaguely threatening. Permanent smell of weed, damp rooms, broken furniture, pig ignorant staff. Bed sheets not washed between visitors -- just ironed with the stains on them.

I know this because some conference delegates were mistakenly booked in there last year ratherr than a similarly named hotel in Manchester.


A close second to this is the Liverpool Adelphi (also run by Britannia Hotels). The Adelphi used to be fantastic in the 70s and 80s. Now it's a drug riddled dump full of drunks. Had the joy of having a demonstration stand at an event there. They allowed a coach party of pensioners through the exhibition hall, who stripped every stand of pens, notepads sweets etc.

The lunch food was so bad that we went out and brought back pizza and fish & chips for the crew.
Ahh I stayed in a Brittania hotel in Manchester couple of years ago. Roasting hot day, melting and no aircon. I’d to go down canal st to escape the filthy hovel.
 
For the life of me I cannot remember the name of this hotel in Wigan I was booked into for a resettlement course.
On stripping the bed down to get in I accidentally moved the valance and saw an half inch deep six inch plus long skid mark down the bed frame.
i then pulled the sheet off and the mattress (for want of a better word) protector was splattered in shite of different colours and under that the mattress itself was stained with the full Dulux brown and yellow chart.

Off down to reception to complain I put my foot through the landing floor..... it was only the rug I was stood on that stopped me going through the gap and putting my foot Through the ceiling below.

Long story short I slept in my car.
 

Dread

LE
The worst hotel I've stayed in recently?

Toss-up between the doss house at the Rosso border crossing point on the Mauritania-Senegal border: huge rooms (ensuite!) and the toilets worked. My party of 3 people were the only guests in the hotel. It promised wifi, aircon, yada yada... nothing worked apart from the toilets (in two of our rooms). I had to get a couple of locking carabiners from the wagon to lock the windows (or at least slow some ****** down), and the mozzie nets were non-existent. There were nice 1" gaps above and below the doors to give the lizards and and bugs easy access to my room. The bed sheets were about 30 years old, but at least they looked clean, and the bed itself was just slightly softer than wooden boards. At least the omelette for breakfast was hot and very spicy. The only drink they had (which they sent a boy running to a shop to buy) was the local version of Panda Pop.

The next shittiest hotel would be the 'hotel' at Dindefelo in Senegal (short walk to the fairly excellent waterfall). The beer was expensive and warm: luckily the place was packed with other rally teams so we could see the food before ordering. We ate rations and used the fridge-freezer in our car with our own supply of ice-cold beer. Due to all the bugs and mozzies in my room I went back to the wagon and grabbed a tent and roll-mat, set the bed up against the wall and then set up my tent in the middle of the room.

The hotels I hate the most though are the Sheraton in Rio de Janeiro: cünts cloned two of my cards there (the only place I had used those cards in 2 weeks) and waited until I was on the Air France flight out to start emptying them. I got the cash back almost immediately (thanks Lloyds!) but will never stay in a Sheraton again due to the way they handled my complaint. Karma hit them hard: the day after stealing my money a bunch of thugs from the nearby favela raided the hotel en mass and there was a full-on contact with heavy weapons against the police. Only other one I strongly dislike is the stunning Sofitel in Agadir in Morocco. I rocked up looking like shite, having spent the previous 2 weeks driving across the Sahara and they acted like I was Trump at a 'We Love Biden' convention. Even after I'd scrubbed up, it was impossible to get service, so I cancelled the rest of my stay there and went next door to the
Hôtel Palais des Roses: the rooms where nowhere near as posh (and the Sofitel was beautiful), however it had a massive hall away from reception with the most amazing ceiling I've seen outside of India, and where the staff were only to happy to serve me drinks and food as I puffed on my cigars: a huge space entirely to myself. Sadly I've never been back.
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
The worst hotel I've stayed in recently?
...
Only other one I strongly dislike is the stunning Sofitel in Agadir in Morocco. I rocked up looking like shite, having spent the previous 2 weeks driving across the Sahara and they acted like I was Trump at a 'We Love Biden' convention. Even after I'd scrubbed up, it was impossible to get service, so I cancelled the rest of my stay there and went next door to the
Hôtel Palais des Roses: the rooms where nowhere near as posh (and the Sofitel was beautiful), however it had a massive hall away from reception with the most amazing ceiling I've seen outside of India, and where the staff were only to happy to serve me drinks and food as I puffed on my cigars: a huge space entirely to myself. Sadly I've never been back.
Exactly the same treatment at Sofitel - we rocked up with eight vehicles / sixteen pax, despite being pre-booked for eight twin rooms, 'not possible' was the only answer.... we formed up the vehicles to block any further access, within six-ten minutes as the car horns multiplied in number, they magically found our rooms. That was on the run from Ceuta to Western Sahara and on to Namibia.

Mauritania / Senegal used to be a (relative) breeze, has it gone a bit 'African'?
 
A suite at the Walforf Astoria in NYC.

By any measure, it has the worst quality/price ratio of any hotel on the planet.

In fact, almost all hotels in NYC are appalling by "first world" standards.
 
I think this may have more potential than the Airport thread - No international standards for hotels of course. I'm going to kick off with a couple in Warri, Nigeria:

The King Wilkinson. Have a relaxing dip in the pool after a hard day's work:

View attachment 495540

The King Wilkinson not to your taste? Try the sumptuous accommodation at The Noblemen hotel (but at least I found a supply of Castle Lager):

View attachment 495541
Luxury

The_Four_Yorkshiremen,_2014_(crop).jpg
 
I stayed in one on the Cowley road in Oxford.

I should have been warned off by the hotel sign that was lying across the front garden.
As I walked in, I was met by a furious argument between the owner and an American family, who were complaining that a mattress on the floor of a single room does not automatically make it a a family room.

I eventually got my key and went to find my room, this was difficult to do, as the room numbers were scratched into the door with a screwdriver or penknife.

I had time for a brew before heading out, but when I went to pour out the milk, I found that it was a solid yellow disc at the bottom of the little plastic milk thingy.

Had a pretty crap night out in Oxford, and thought that I might just head off after a cooked breakfast.
I then made the mistake of looking out of my window that overlooked the parking area at the rear of the hotel.

There were oven trays full of that days breakfast items, raw rashers of bacon etc, sitting on top of some old oil drums alongside the rear kitchen door.

Not a great weekend to be honest.

Ah, Cowley Road...

Lots of ‘vibrant diversity’, and establishments that wouldn’t look out of place in the seedier parts of the Near East. Frequented by poor (or politically-delusional) students; homeless ‘recreational pharmaceutical enthusiasts’; and residents from the adjacent loony bin, out on day release.
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
Britannia Hotel, Stockport (on the A6).
A well known doss house for asylum seekers who hang about the place muttering in foreign languages and looking vaguely threatening. Permanent smell of weed, damp rooms, broken furniture, pig ignorant staff. Bed sheets not washed between visitors -- just ironed with the stains on them.

I know this because some conference delegates were mistakenly booked in there last year ratherr than a similarly named hotel in Manchester.


A close second to this is the Liverpool Adelphi (also run by Britannia Hotels). The Adelphi used to be fantastic in the 70s and 80s. Now it's a drug riddled dump full of drunks. Had the joy of having a demonstration stand at an event there. They allowed a coach party of pensioners through the exhibition hall, who stripped every stand of pens, notepads sweets etc.

The lunch food was so bad that we went out and brought back pizza and fish & chips for the crew.
I was waiting for this name to be mentioned. true shitholes, and a joke within the industry. a bit of an unfunny one if you ever have the misfortune to end up working for the cnuts, however.
 
A suite at the Walforf Astoria in NYC.

By any measure, it has the worst quality/price ratio of any hotel on the planet.

In fact, almost all hotels in NYC are appalling by "first world" standards.
I was doing a Travel and Tourism course at Edinburgh college last year before I had to drop out due to ill health and one of the students was a hostess - not what you're thinking her job was to smile and greet the guests as they arrived - at the Waldorf Astoria owned Caledonian hotel in Edinburgh and when she mentioned this to the class everyone was so excited I thought the Chippendales had made an appearance, it was like the second coming with lots of excited questions from the students and tutor alike as to what it's like working in an WA hotel

I've absolutely no idea why the likes of Waldorf Astoria get their reputation from ? As Banker says they're over priced and if any employee was honest - our class heroine wasn't - they're absolute crap employers too
 
Horrible, but not for the usual reasons of lacking cleanliness, facilities, etc.

Cosmos Hotel - Moscow. Think Biff Towers from Back to the future 2.
OK by Euro standards, it was clean, comfortable and the staff were ok. But....
£10 for a pint of wobbly. You can't get a seat at any of the cafes or bars because they are chock full of hookers chatting to middle eastern gentleman. Hotel has a range of restaurants (gopping), a casino (rip off) and a strip club; which was the best place to drink as it was a tenner to get in and only £5 per pint.
I had the worst Chinese meal ever made, beef with black bean, the beef strips resembled flattened and boiled slugs; it gave me the shits. (Which even the street food in China didn't manage to).
The best bit was on the delivering my bag to my room, Ivan/Igor turned to me and said "do you want a woman?"
me: "er what?
Igor" a woman, you want a woman"
me "oh, er not yet I need to eat first"
Igor "when you want a woman, you call me"

I tipped him a few bucks and off he went. This basically sums up Russia tbh.
 
Horrible, but not for the usual reasons of lacking cleanliness, facilities, etc.

Cosmos Hotel - Moscow. Think Biff Towers from Back to the future 2.
OK by Euro standards, it was clean, comfortable and the staff were ok. But....
£10 for a pint of wobbly. You can't get a seat at any of the cafes or bars because they are chock full of hookers chatting to middle eastern gentleman. Hotel has a range of restaurants (gopping), a casino (rip off) and a strip club; which was the best place to drink as it was a tenner to get in and only £5 per pint.
I had the worst Chinese meal ever made, beef with black bean, the beef strips resembled flattened and boiled slugs; it gave me the shits. (Which even the street food in China didn't manage to).
The best bit was on the delivering my bag to my room, Ivan/Igor turned to me and said "do you want a woman?"
me: "er what?
Igor" a woman, you want a woman"
me "oh, er not yet I need to eat first"
Igor "when you want a woman, you call me"

I tipped him a few bucks and off he went. This basically sums up Russia tbh.
FFS, don't venture near Africa!
 

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