Worst Hotel in the World

Oyibo

LE
I think this may have more potential than the Airport thread - No international standards for hotels of course. I'm going to kick off with a couple in Warri, Nigeria:

The King Wilkinson. Have a relaxing dip in the pool after a hard day's work:

1596908788740.png


The King Wilkinson not to your taste? Try the sumptuous accommodation at The Noblemen hotel (but at least I found a supply of Castle Lager):

1596908937174.png
 
I think this may have more potential than the Airport thread - No international standards for hotels of course. I'm going to kick off with a couple in Warri, Nigeria:

The King Wilkinson. Have a relaxing dip in the pool after a hard day's work:

View attachment 495540

The King Wilkinson not to your taste? Try the sumptuous accommodation at The Noblemen hotel (but at least I found a supply of Castle Lager):

View attachment 495541
Whatever they’re paying you to works these salubrious places. It ain’t enough.....
 
Old Mother Macs, Back Street, Manchester.

Stayed there for one night a couple of years ago as the usual place I stayed at was fully booked. It was cheap -this wasn't a plus, they should have paid me to stay there IMHO. No breakfast. No ensuite. The shitter was down a flight of stairs and had been cleaned, possibly as recently as a month ago. No heating, No curtains at the window. No internet. TV in the room was busted. Half inch gap under the door at one end, one and a half inch gap at the other end. This proved helpful to the rat I saw scurrying out of the room in the morning, approximately 2 nanoseconds before I rapidly vacated the "luxurious" accommodation. The bloke on reception didn't seem in the slightest phased that I'd seen, as he put it, "A long tail". A 5 star shit hole. Famous for being a murder scene in the past. Avoid like the plague. **** knows how it's got good reviews.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
Can't compete with the OP, but have encountered a few in the UK whose bedrooms/bathrooms look like they've been designed by Bloody Stupid Johnson (discworld buffs will know to whom I refer).

And then there's the Campanile in Wakefield ...
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
Old Mother Macs, Back Street, Manchester.

Stayed there for one night a couple of years ago as the usual place I stayed at was fully booked. It was cheap -this wasn't a plus, they should have paid me to stay there IMHO. No breakfast. No ensuite. The shitter was down a flight of stairs and had been cleaned, possibly as recently as a month ago. No heating, No curtains at the window. No internet. TV in the room was busted. Half inch gap under the door at one end, one and a half inch gap at the other end. This proved helpful to the rat I saw scurrying out of the room in the morning, approximately 2 nanoseconds before I rapidly vacated the "luxurious" accommodation. The bloke on reception didn't seem in the slightest phased that I'd seen, as he put it, "A long tail". A 5 star shit hole. Famous for being a murder scene in the past. Avoid like the plague. **** knows how it's got good reviews.

Probably got reviews for "olde worlde charm".
 
Probably got reviews for "olde worlde charm".
Just remembered, it's next door to a massage parlour. Sort of tells you all you need to know about Manchester I think.
 
I think this may have more potential than the Airport thread - No international standards for hotels of course. I'm going to kick off with a couple in Warri, Nigeria:

The King Wilkinson. Have a relaxing dip in the pool after a hard day's work:

View attachment 495540

The King Wilkinson not to your taste? Try the sumptuous accommodation at The Noblemen hotel (but at least I found a supply of Castle Lager):

View attachment 495541
You're on fire this weekend, Sir, another great thread.
 
The Lang Zane hotel in Vientiane, Laos. Famous for having a captive bear in the back yard for many years, but for many years later only home to a stagnant swimming pool and hall carpets so sticky they felt like Velcro. At the same time it was the ‘premier’ hotel in the entire country.

Fast forward a few years and it was demoted by ‘Swamp Castle’ (not its real name obvs) but named thus because it was built on reclaimed land at the side of the Mekong and soon seen to be tilting slightly from the vertical.

You could see waves in the floor when looking along the corridor and there were apparently whole floors where the rooms couldn’t be let as the doors were inoperable due to the subsidence.

Plus also, well, just about any hotel or guesthouse in SE Asia where they have one of these lodged - as is - behind the bathroom mirror ready for the next guest to use:

 

Oyibo

LE
Whatever they’re paying you to works these salubrious places. It ain’t enough.....
It's a bit 'swings and roundabouts' - I have stayed in some really great places as well. But I digress.

The Colibri Hotel in Bamako - they would mop the carpeted floors each morning.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
It's a bit 'swings and roundabouts' - I have stayed in some really great places as well. But I digress.

The Colibri Hotel in Bamako - they would mop the carpeted floors each morning.
I've been in many pubs like that so I don't think they can claim exclusivity.
 
It's a bit 'swings and roundabouts' - I have stayed in some really great places as well. But I digress.

The Colibri Hotel in Bamako - the would mop the carpeted floors each morning.
We often used to eat in the ‘Radison’ there. The obligatory local ladies of ill repute dug in around the bar, and the waiters lifting the napkins on their arms to reveal the drugs they were selling.

Luckily I left about 3 days before it got brassed up.
 

Issi

War Hero
I stayed in one on the Cowley road in Oxford.

I should have been warned off by the hotel sign that was lying across the front garden.
As I walked in, I was met by a furious argument between the owner and an American family, who were complaining that a mattress on the floor of a single room does not automatically make it a a family room.

I eventually got my key and went to find my room, this was difficult to do, as the room numbers were scratched into the door with a screwdriver or penknife.

I had time for a brew before heading out, but when I went to pour out the milk, I found that it was a solid yellow disc at the bottom of the little plastic milk thingy.

Had a pretty crap night out in Oxford, and thought that I might just head off after a cooked breakfast.
I then made the mistake of looking out of my window that overlooked the parking area at the rear of the hotel.

There were oven trays full of that days breakfast items, raw rashers of bacon etc, sitting on top of some old oil drums alongside the rear kitchen door.

Not a great weekend to be honest.
 

Oyibo

LE
I've been in many pubs like that so I don't think they can claim exclusivity.
Good point, well made.

Here's one of the attentive bar staff in the same hotel (that's her 'Stand-To' position, normally she was asleep on the floor):

1596910892133.png
 

Oyibo

LE
We often used to eat in the ‘Radison’ there. The obligatory local ladies of ill repute dug in around the bar, and the waiters lifting the napkins on their arms to reveal the drugs they were selling.

Luckily I left about 3 days before it got brassed up.
I only went there after it got a bit 'kinetic'. It was a shit hole.

If you ever go back, I did find some good places I can recommend.
 

crazy_chester

Old-Salt
I think this may have more potential than the Airport thread - No international standards for hotels of course. I'm going to kick off with a couple in Warri, Nigeria:

The King Wilkinson. Have a relaxing dip in the pool after a hard day's work:

View attachment 495540

The King Wilkinson not to your taste? Try the sumptuous accommodation at The Noblemen hotel (but at least I found a supply of Castle Lager):

View attachment 495541
Warri is awful, I spent three unhappy months at the Wellington Hotel in Warri back in 2011....other contenders have emerged over the years in PH, Gombe, Kano, Kaduna, Minna and worst of all Katsina - bad times. Thankfully writing this from Lagos.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
Cherry blossom inn Blackpool. Went as union conference. We’d mushrooms growing at bottom of sink pedestal. Not sure if they were edible.
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
The 'Grand' Hotel Pristina, circa '99 Hot & cold running water (down the walls and washing the blood from the 'carpets') Lift shafts to die for, Ironically refurbished in 2000 by Schindlers Lifts....
Lots of cockroach attracting damp, cold marble bathrooms and bar - it wasn't uncommon to see your bottle of Efes being 'mounted' by two or three of the buggers...
The place got so popular with UNMIK that the local whores had to move on... I'm fairly (but not 100%) sure that the CO of RGJ was caught in a brothel with his pants down (but neatly folded, along with everything else) by his own men, whilst pastrolling with UNMIK coppers....
Anyway, the Hotel barber reopened, we formed an orderly seated queue in his waiting room... the first guy took to the chair, all went well until he took out a cut-throat razor with an unnanounced flourish

To be met with a knee to the groin and a couple of big blokes pinning him to the floor - he saw the funny side eventually, once we'd waited for an interrupter to turn up and he was released from his bindings...

We also took advantage of the basement parking, height clearance was OK so we got used to driving in & out at speed - until they replaced the lighting one day and we trashed about a dozen light fittings that were significantly lower that the old ones, still, we were due new vehicles from Global the next week anyway...
 

Oyibo

LE
Warri is awful, I spent three unhappy months at the Wellington Hotel in Warri back in 2011....other contenders have emerged over the years in PH, Gombe, Kano, Kaduna, Minna and worst of all Katsina - bad times. Thankfully writing this from Lagos.
By coincidence they'd just finished the Wellington Hotel when I was working in Warri (2005 -2006). It was like the Burj al Arab compared to the others in Warri. Government Ekpempolo use to meet with the military leaders there to give them their brown envelopes.

Katsina - you have my sympathies.
 
Ajay in Delhi for me . An utter dump with a manager that you instinctively know is dodgy

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_R...i.html#REVIEWS

It was recommended to me by the owner of a hotel in Manali . With hindsight it was probably down to the fact that the owners of the hotel in Manali and the Ajay guest house were from the same part of northern India . I'm guessing the caste system is very strong there . Anyway I needed to catch a flight to Kathmandu so just stayed at the Ajay for less than 24 hours

Very nice bakery / café . The staff however seemed to have a problem speaking English , a disadvantage if you're in the hospitality industry and this is what I meant by the caste system , the staff seemed to be employed down to their caste rather than any hospitality skills . When I got there the manager wanted me to pay via credit card . Fundamental advice guys - when in a foreign country always pay in cash and get a receipt . Anyway I got shown to my room and was told the air conditioning was broken but don't worry it'd be fixed . Okay fair enough and went down to the café

I looked at the menu and explained to the waiter I wanted an omelette and a cup of coffee . After trying to explain for five minutes what an omelette and a cup of coffee was on the menu , I had to take his note book off him and literally write the number on the menu . So waited . Eventually I got my cup of coffee and omelette . Plus a cup of black which I didn't order . Knowing I'd be charged for it I accepted the cup of tea

Afterwards I went back to my room . This is the creepy bit . The male staff hang around the stairwell and sleep on sofas . Probably a bit intimidating especially to female travellers on their especially since I gave the Indian greeting of " Namaste " only to have surly looks as a reply

So I got ready for my plane trip the next morning when there was a knock on the door and a couple of staff explained they had come to fix my air conditioning

" Hmmm fine on you go "

For the next hour when I was supposed to be preparing for my plane trip I was confined to bed as these two Indian versions of the chuckle brothers kept popping in and out trying and totally failing to give the impression they knew what they were doing . Cheeky little bastards too since they kept looking over at me and then back to each speaking in their local language laughing . Pretty obvious it was me they were talking about > After an hour and a half of ripping the air conditioner out of the wall and putting a new one in they gave the impression they might be finished . I say might because they left the old conditioner on the floor along with a big mountain pile of soot so I asked them if they'd finished . Strangely their knowledge of English seemed to have deserted them and they left . I tried the new air conditioner and it didn't seem to work . Along with the fact that the staff had left the remains of their handiwork it was logical to assume they'd be back any minute , especially since they'd left the door to my room open when leaving . It turned out I was being a bit too optimistic and they never returned . Can't say I was sad to see the back of them but if you're in a New Delhi hotel at the start of June and the air conditioning isn't working it's not very pleasant

One plus point from this was that there was no danger of sleeping in so popped down to breakfast . Decided to have a coffee and omelette again . Different waiter and same language barrier and he didn't have a notebook had to point to the menu . I eventually got my coffee but not my omelette so it bloody clear I wasn't going to get charged for an omelette or anything else I didn't get . I checked out and ordered a taxi , making sure I'd left plenty of time to get to an airport in case my taxi didn't arrive promptly . To be fair the taxi did arrive in plenty of time but while I was waiting an American woman who'd checked had a query with the manager

" The board there says there's going to a football matched broadcast on the balcony at 11 o'clock tonight "

" Yes "

" When I booked you told me this was a quiet hotel . Having a football match doesn't sound like it's going to be quiet "

" Oh don't worry , you won't hear anything . It's very quiet here "

So if you're ever in New Delhi perhaps you'd like to give the Ajay guest house a miss . I won't be going back
 

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