worst exercise damage

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by auscam, Apr 13, 2009.

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  1. best effort I've seen (courtesy of "Combat & Survival" (cough)) was a driver from The Staffordshire Regiment who managed to park his Warrior without noticing the Land Rover from 10 Para underneath it.

    The photo said it all-protruding from the hedge behind which the Paras had been hiding, and through which the Warrior had 'urtled, was an LR with the entire front end, from the pedals forwards, vanished without trace, replaced by X tonnes of AIFV. The rover was surrounded by MILAN tubes, webbing, helmets, weapons and little trails of poo heading in the general direction of 'away'

    Another was a Unimog which the driver rolled at top speed on Ex Kangaroo '89 in the Northern Territory-which has no speed limits on the highways-which could only be recognised by the wheels-everything above the mudguards was utterly flattened.The driver was killed of course.

    My own rather meagre effort was to wreck an M60 with one almighty burst of link from a belt which would have been about 30 m long (and knocking myself out in the process)
     
  2. A public road smashed to bits by CVR(T)s, and I do mean smashed, impassable by LR.
     
  3. I remember whilst on a joint exercise with 30 pigs that two of the drivers had had a little scrape...
    They had been driving along, and skidded into a ditch. No major dramas, except when they got back the MTO wanted to know why the axel and chassis was bent.
    They said they must of hit something...
    It was later that the real story came out. They had managed to roll the rover. Not just slightly, but onto its side, then its roof, its side again, and back onto the wheels. They then drove it back. Quite amusing.

    There was also the time the wagon i was driving in had a total brakes failure on its way into a petrol station. Those of you who remember the Lucky the dog adverts where the car rolls up the drive and stops about an inch from the garage door, it was something similar to that. But replace door with packet of trucks. Following this little incident, we were on the motorway, REME crafty now driving due to said brakes failure. The automatic truck wasnt having much luck, as it was belting out far too many revs and not shifting gears. By the time we pulled into the layby, the disks were glowing red hot, and sizzling. Again, no dramas, we;ll just wait for them to cool down.
    After coating most of the dual carrage way between Scotch Corner and Penrith with powdered fire extinguisher, putting out the fire under a couple of million pounds worth of kit, and the low loader arriving, we managed to get back to camp about 6 hours after everybody else. The whole fleet ended up VOR while new brakes were fitted to every vehicle.
     
  4. Being the only bloke in the Battalion who spoke any German, I was nominated to find suitable lodgings for my Company - I was just a sprog at the time and not well versed in the "exercise damage" bargaining procedure.

    I pulled into a suitable looking farm and asked the farmer whether he had any problems with us billeting in his barn. "No. You are welcome. But please, do not smoke in the barn. It has much straw. I will bring in more straw so that you are comfortable."

    F'kin excellent!

    Back to OC and explain the condition. OK, that's the place where we hole up for a couple of days. Orders go out that there is to be no smoking or fires in the barn.

    We turn up in force. A smoking area is established. A cooking area is established. We set up a 9x9 over a manhole and install our specially-made 4-at-a-time sh*tter over the hole - nothing quite like comfort in the field...

    The farmer comes out and inspects the sh*tter. "Very good!" He's very enthusiastic about it. True to his word, he brings in several trailer loads of clean, dry straw for us to spread about the barn. "But your officers," he says to me, "they should not be using the same sh*tter as the soldiers. They may use the crapper in this outhouse over here."

    "Thank you." says I.

    "And you. Without you, they would not be so lucky. So you may also use the crapper."

    GET IN! (Of course, this was a mixed blessing - a week or so on Compo resulted in logs that just WOULDN'T flush away - ended up chopping them into small pieces with a shovel and flushing with several buckets of water - not an issue with the straight drop into the manhole...).

    "And, the officers may also use the shower." "And me?" "Of course!"

    Sprog Private. Flush sh*tter. Hot shower. "Sorry Sarn't Major... Officers only..." (Obviously, I actually said "Sir", but you get my drift..)

    We were so delighted that when the farmer turned up during our evening meal, we offered him a mess tin of the CQMS's finest... He tasted it and very bravely smiled and said, "Very good." Then, about an hour later, he came out with several platters of cooked meats, bread, baked potatoes etc.

    He did the same on the next evening, as soon as he saw the No1 burner being fired up, this time with crates of beer.

    Sadly, the time came to leave - the day of reckoning... Exercise damage... What did he want want renewed? We discussed it at length - or at least the officers did - I was present because I would be the one who would put it to the farmer.

    "Would you like us to drive through your fence? Drive across your crops? Accidentally catch the corner of your outhouse?

    "NO!, NO!, NO!" he said emphatically. "You are British troops. You have been very disciplined. You have caused no damage. It has been a pleasure having you here (Obviously didn't know that his daughter was even more pleased). If you hadn't been here, the German troops would have stayed and they would not have been so careful."

    So, the "exercise damage" myth is debunked - at least in the case of one particular farmer.
     
  5. Getting ready for exercise one night I managed to reverse Harry the Hyster (the QM (Tech)'s forklift through the doors with the forks up. The QM came out to see what the noise was in time to hear my stunned "Oh Sh1t" as bricks and pieces of lintel showered around my head. "Oh sh1t" is right Gray, he said. Bottle of Asbach to the REME LAD to straighten the grid behind the forks, plus 68 yellow handbags spread around the regiment and the paperwork got lost, the damage to the roller door and lintel became storm damage. Of course I had to wait till endex to find out the result and had two weeks out in the field to contemplate what an act of mongness I had committed and worry about how much soapy I was in.
     
  6. That was that place near Wellingholzhausen - Spearpoint 76. If I remember rightly he had two daughters and both were very keen to further German/Yorkshire relations.
     
  7. Worst vehcle damage I saw was at Drawska in 1997 - 20Bde's Uhlan Eagle. A Land Rover was driving along a track when a Challie shot across the track at right angles and chopped it in two. The driver of the rover was a Gunner from 26 Rgt and he head butted the windscreen (the anchor point for his seat belt having being removed by the Challie) and had to be flown to Poznan civvie hospital as a P1. He recovered consciousness a week later and was apparently ok. His passenger was a WO1 from the Dukes who had to be sent back to Germany with back problems.
     
  8. chrisg46

    chrisg46 LE Book Reviewer

    we demolished a farm building on the Plain once by reversing a 4 tonner into it, while we were sat in the back...
     
  9. Moved into a village called Ammenson in 1984 the day after an American Mech Bde had stormed through the place. Kerbstones, lamp posts and bits of masonary everywhere. Apparently much damage to the towns drains too.
     
  10. Major ex in BFG in 1990ish (cant remember the name as too many beers have been consumed since then)
    Endex was called and we were deployed out with the SSM to accompany us, and being of superior power he decided we would get back to the release point as fast as humanly possibly (we had a 3/4 land rover, bedford with box and 16/24 gene plus radio relay and GS trailer as our det)
    So there we were bombing back through along the woodland tracks in the Harz, foot to the floor and getting further and further spread out. The Radio Relay was bringing up the rear as it was the heaviest and slowest. As they came bombing round a corner there was this little old german lady walking her dog in the middle of the track......
    The only course of action was to go straight on in order to avoid her, straight into a ploughed field that was 3-4 feet below the level of the track...... have you ever seen a 12ton Radio Relay with fully laden GS trailer flying with all 6 wheels off the ground!!!!!!!
    Driver nursed it all the way back to camp to be told that all the leaf springs were flattened or bent the opposite way to normal....

    Same exercise, same det, but this time it was the turn of the other wagon... on getting back to camp at endex in record time, MT counting all the wagons in late at night. Driver was asked ''wheres your gene trailer?''...''its on the back sir''.....''no its not'' says the MTO, ''refuel turn around and go find it!!!'' (in a ditch at the side of the autobahn!!!!!
     
  11. Major ex in BFG in 1990ish (cant remember the name as too many beers have been consumed since then)
    Endex was called and we were deployed out with the SSM to accompany us, and being of superior power he decided we would get back to the release point as fast as humanly possibly (we had a 3/4 land rover, bedford with box and 16/24 gene plus radio relay and GS trailer as our det)
    So there we were bombing back through along the woodland tracks in the Harz, foot to the floor and getting further and further spread out. The Radio Relay was bringing up the rear as it was the heaviest and slowest. As they came bombing round a corner there was this little old german lady walking her dog in the middle of the track......
    The only course of action was to go straight on in order to avoid her, straight into a ploughed field that was 3-4 feet below the level of the track...... have you ever seen a 12ton Radio Relay with fully laden GS trailer flying with all 6 wheels off the ground!!!!!!!
    Driver nursed it all the way back to camp to be told that all the leaf springs were flattened or bent the opposite way to normal....

    Same exercise, same det, but this time it was the turn of the other wagon... on getting back to camp at endex in record time, MT counting all the wagons in late at night. Driver was asked ''wheres your gene trailer?''...''its on the back sir''.....''no its not'' says the MTO, ''refuel turn around and go find it!!!'' (in a ditch at the side of the autobahn!!!!!
     
  12. Cow

    Cow LE

    Ha! I was in the packet behind, you left a right stink from the brakes all the way up the hill. Shame it couldn't have happened earlier and had that pump exercise cancelled.
     
  13. I dont think Ads was a happy bunny after we broke down twice, and the brakes failed while following a petrol tanker into the services. He was very frigging white after that, and refused to drive it anymore!