The worst ever shag I had was with someone who I went out with for no other reason than he was fit. His brain was the size of a pea, conversation skills non exisitant and he wasn't a good drinker.....but he looked good. We fannied about for a few weeks before getting down to the nitty gritty one night and it was the worst experience of my life! Now, I was kind of getting used to his sloppy kissing techniques (ie; slobbering all over my face) but nothing could prepare me for what was to come.... After some ridiculous fumbling about in my pants - I'm still not quite sure what he was doing - things led to a more 'physical' situation. So off come the trolleys, out comes the KY (sorry but it was needed) and so it began, my once in a lifetime shag with 'Jerry the Jackhammer'. I don't know if it was something to do with the fast music on the radio, or perhaps he just wanted to finish it before his chips got cold...but he was the fastest thruster I have ever had the misfortune to go to bed with. It got so bad that I decided to adopt the 'roll over and get on top' manouver to try and regain some control and, ultmately a slower pace. But alas, unaffected by this in the slightest he just carried on hammering away like a human pneumatic drill (but now he had an opportunity to grab my tits like he was kneading dough). I will never know if he noticed my head smashing into the wall, or the fact I had to cling on to the headboard for some stability- seriously, I nearly fell off him a few times - but I reached a point where I could take it no longer, and promptly burst out laughing. Now, this may seem very cruel, but it was a reflect reaction and once I started I couldn't stop - much to his horror. He threw me off (which doesn't matter cos I was clinging on by a pube anyway), got dressed and stormed out of the house to the tune of my hysterical laughter - never to return. He never spoke to me again and I don't really blame him. I will never forget him though - he has gone down in Moodybitch history as THE worst shag I ever had..... ...What's yours?