Worst Duties

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by B_AND_T, Jun 20, 2009.

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  1. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Yep, I know there is no such thing as a good duty, but some are worse than others.

    2 stick in my mind. The first one was when the Bn lost their first guy on Telic. One I never want to repeat.

    The other was when the Queen Mother (God bless er) died. She was the Bn CiC. What a world of hurt that caused me. Trying to track down the CO who was in the Czech Rep on leave and trying to find an officer with the balls to take the task on, not much sleep that night.

    Any worse ones?
  2. SAS site guard(7 days) or PGF "The Maze."(4 months) take yer pick.
  3. Canteen Cowboy when there's an Old Firm match on. An endless baws-ache with the ever-present possibility of getting randomly glassed by some bitter Hun if the 'Gers go down.
  4. Cookhouse fatigues on a Sunday :( .
  5. This is an easy one.
    Working as a waiter/cleaner/dogsbody in the officers' mess for some function.

    Degrading, embarrassing, by far the worst duty you can do. Only done to humiliate the toms and boost the officers' collective egos. Wrong on so many different levels.

    BTW, this dicking is responsible for more PVRs and general chuntering than any other. Massively counter-productive, infantile, morale destroying and sad. Whoever keeps this tradition going has the man-management skills of a retarded baboon.
  6. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    As a 17 year old straight from trade training & on gate guard,being sent to get the Ord Officer to get him to tell a friend of mine that his brother had been killed in a car crash was one.
    Being a coffin bearer at the funerals of one of our Tornado Aircrew KIA on Granby & going to make safe the crashsite of another Tornado that crashed after colliding with a German Aplha Jet in 1989,still with the crew inside the wreckage.
  7. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer

    Fire piquet in some s***ole in Norfolk... I was new and they didn't tell me it was a sleeping duty. I wandered around for frigging hours trying to find something smoldering. Got bored so had a wank.
  8. Escorting my mate home to his funeral
  9. Have to disagree mate,got dicked for this in J.S.W. and a certain Major who had once been a Siggy showed us some cracking tricks and ensured we had a drink and smokes.The scoff was fcuking horrendous though.Hope you enjoyed your 3 body fluid course meal sir/maam. :lol:
  10. Not if you have a mess manager who knows his stuff... a couple of freebie bottles of "empty" port for a good job or even a "x did a great job" to the CSM makes a difference between a shit duty and a tolerable one. That said, a good portion of the mess managers I met were bitter individuals who didn't want to do the job and had the man management capabilities of Mr Bean.

    On the subject though, the worst duty I had was two week long site guards in cold war BAOR days with almost constant call-outs because yet another f***ing rabbit had set off the sensors.
  11. Duty Clerk the day Di died. RAO was in tears and and needed a lift from home to unit and back, and bugger all on TV or radio except funeral dirge music and Grief Whores. What a cr@p Sunday duty that was.
  12. Getting slapped on Guard the same day of return from R&R in NI, 4 days on the lash, a full day of travel followed by an almost sleepless night - what tw@t thought of that ?? :evil:
  13. Where the railway sidings used to be by the "white shops" in Catterick. I was in 2TR at the time, and we were detailed to spray the coal heaps with white wash. Seems it detered thieves, fcuking stupid idea.
  14. 1. Pot wash/galley(cookhouse,for you pongos)on a large ship(old Bulwark-nearly 2000 blokes,including embarked force)
    2.Main gate sentry.
    3.Flunky/MOA/batman---got stuck with this for 6 weeks(lost toss of coin, over the longest serving guys in troop--I'd done 18 months,the other 3 victims,similar)--Refused to serve them,(Ossifers)so did pot wash.(Id had experience--see 1)OC was a cracking bloke who asked if I wished to clean his grot and generally look after him--answer. NO. He got me a great move a short time later.And no hard feelings.-Was replaced by a sychophantic useless twat,who was a danger to anyone around him.--He made Cpl in 4 months.(and later got kicked off a trip by the brigadier.)
    In the end,all jobs have there crap side to them,but as long as they pay me at the end of the month,I shall crack on.


    Some blokes LIKED being flunkeys.
  15. 1) doing CPR on an infant that doesn't make it. Breaks your heart and you end up feeling mad at the kid for not breathing and spend a long time wondering if you could have done something different even if you know you did it right.

    2) Telling a man that both his 60yo mum and 8 yo only daughter died in a fire. Then after he totally flips out and has to be heavily sedated by the paramedics having to tell the rest of the family that the fire was arson and the deaths were considered murder. An evicted tenant was mad at the landlord and burned the house down for revenge. I will say that I was pleased that the evil prcik was caught, tried, convicted and received two consecutive terms of life without the possibility of parole. He will die in prison. I have had to tell a number of people that a loved one had died and it always sucks but that time was the worst.