Worst Animal Habits

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by error_unknown, Nov 27, 2004.

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  1. I've just had to bath my dog (see pic in gallery) as it has developed the very pleasant habit of sneaking my baby daughter's disposable nappies out of the rubbish and eating the contents, and thus stinking of human shi-ite. I realised the fecking animal had done this today when it jumped on my bed this morning and licked my face. In combination with slightly too much Holsten Pils last night, this did actually cause me to start my Saturday by vomiting copiously all over the en suite bathroom: fortunately the lovely and glamourous Mrs Chickenpunk is away watching her god-daughter get confirmed.

    Any worse doggy habits?
  2. We once had a rather nutty lab called Skip who went off his food and seemed ill for a while.
    Eventually it was decided he needed to see a Vet x-rays showed an obstruction in his intestines and an operation was arranged.
    My Mother was rather p*ssed off when she returned from Vets the next day.
    It seemed one of my brothers had left a used condom laying on the bedroom floor and nutty had come along and eaten it, the fluids in his stomach had filled it even further and it had twisted ensuring it was unable to drain then become lodged in his intestines.
    Condom eating, now THAT'S disgusting......

    Beebs :oops:
  3. thank you for sharing that i feel sick
  4. Someone else must have seen the result of a dog eating its way through black bin bag

    I had a collie with about a foot of black plastic sticking out its hoop,
    Pulling it was no good, the collie kind of shortened (concertina style) and yodalled

    Ended up just cutting lengths off it as it came out

    Saw a cow lick a fire once, not the brightest creatures
  5. The other thing my dog did recently was trough a pair of my shreddies, which wound up hanging out of its arrse and required some rubber glove 'assistance' to remove them. Ah... man's best friend!
  6. My brothers dog regularly raids their laundry bin and munchies on my brother’s wife used thong gussets.
  7. What, you mean you've never chugged a 'dom? :?
  8. Dont know about the mutts,I love scooting on the carpet bare arsed when the eyes itching. 8O
  9. Nothing unusual about that :wink:
  10. My dog Dylan has recently taken to the habit of throwing up his entire bowel of dinner, which is a considerable amount as he is a 10 stone bullmastif, then later on he creeps back and eats it at his leasure!!!! we have now had to start feeding him twice daily. Same amount but in two sittings because he is so greedy!!! Should have called him blood Dyson as he is the dog version of a vacuum cleaner when he is out on his daily walk!!!
  11. My sister-in-law has a tomcat which fell in lust with her son't giant cuddly gorilla. Said gorilla's fur is now very matted. The cat also went through a phase of cr*pping in the microwave but they're now very conscientious about keeping the door shut.

    He's a fine specimen of a pitch black moggy and I'd have converted him into a hearth rug years ago.
  12. Dunno if it's a bad habit but mine likes to pretend 'hump' any guests. It was so bad I got my brother one of those 'humping dogs' last Christmas. Also, only wants to fight other dogs when he's on his lead. Take it off and he's their best mate! Even if he does try to hump them more often than not.

    Oh, and he's an attention seeking git. Crawled between my legs three times whilst on here!
  13. After a night of passion Mrs Archer left one of her stockings on the floor.
    (Ah, those were the days!!)

    She came back from the shower in time to watch it disappearing down the dogs throat.

    Off to the vet PDQ and had to endure the perv questioning her at some length about the colour and texture of said stocking. When he got to the pattern and was it hold up or suspender she gave the vet the mad eye and he discharged the dog saying"It'll work through on it's own"
  14. Wasn't my dog, but I was sh@gging this bird once and her dog tried to join in 8O 8O :oops: :oops:
  15. Cousin's have a dog that likes to hump other dogs... nothing unusual with that, right? Only problem, their dog is a female, and somehow managed to temporarily turn our normally docile doberman into a humping fiend! 8O :x

    Who ever heard of a lesbo dog? :roll:

    BTW, our dobie is also a female, if that makes any difference. :?: