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Worst Airport in the World?

World's worst airport


  • Total voters
    27
MAN is paradise compared to LIV

True dit:

We're off to Ireland on RuinAir [not booked by me] for work, quick hop to Dublin and drive to Athlone.

We're only there for one night so I have my overnight bag & my laptop.

Get to the X-ray and next thing some rat-faced security guard starts rooting in my bag.

Bear in mind that it's the same bag & contents that I went MAN - Cork the previous week so I'm a bit baffled.

After chucking all my gear about he pull out my toilet bay and starts rooting in there. Eventually he pulls out a pair of nail clippers.

NAIL CLIPPERS all of 30mm long. NAIL CLIPPERS FFS

"You can't take these on the plane, these are a bladed article"

'And what am I going to do with nail clippers? I'm going to kick down the door to the cockpit and go up to the pilot and say "fly me to Cuba or I'll give you a manicure"...'

"You can't talk to me like that, you won't be getting on that plane yadda, yadda, yadda..."

My two colleagues are in hysterics on the floor at this point.

Had a thing like this in Merica, I use a Merkur safety razor. Flying from , I think it was Florida. Nice chap and he was a nice man, TSA all the way.Stopped me as I had a blade, in my razor. So it was “not allowed” . Ok . He also said I use one of these myself, ex mil I would guess.

Still he left me with the box of 3 or 4 new blades.
 
i was not too impressed by the kuwaiti airfield on telic 1 , as we landed there was some incoming rockets or scuds , so we had to put on full nbc kit whilst in the plane ! then run to scud pits , it was still a better customer experience than luton airport though
 

ACAB

LE
Tashkent in Uzbekistan is, without a doubt, the worst airport I have ever had the misfortune to refuel in.
We were on the ground for a good 45 minutes before the designated interpreter rolled up - in fishnet stockings, thigh high white leather boots and the same for the mini skirt. I remember thinking WTF???
 

Helm

MIA
Moderator
Book Reviewer
Tashkent in Uzbekistan is, without a doubt, the worst airport I have ever had the misfortune to refuel in.
We were on the ground for a good 45 minutes before the designated interpreter rolled up - in fishnet stockings, thigh high white leather boots and the same for the mini skirt. I remember thinking WTF???
Was he a decent bloke though?
 

Oyibo

LE
Tashkent in Uzbekistan is, without a doubt, the worst airport I have ever had the misfortune to refuel in.
We were on the ground for a good 45 minutes before the designated interpreter rolled up - in fishnet stockings, thigh high white leather boots and the same for the mini skirt. I remember thinking WTF???

That sounds like a ****/*ng awesome airport
 

Longinthegums

Old-Salt
Liverpool.

I am a scouser and I refuse to fly from Liverpool --- ever.

Designed to remove the maximum amount of money from your wallet before you even get near to an aircraft. You check in on the ground floor, then have to go upstairs to pass through all the shops -- and it's designed so you can't go in a straight line -- think Ikea with overpriced booze and perfume.

Then there is the extremely helpful security staff [not]. Who will take any excuse to delay you to the point of missing your aircraft.

Airport staff are the dregs of every workshy thieving scouser that ever had sight of Walton Prison.

Passengers are mostly drunken, tattooed and shaven headed, and that's just the children.

You will be charged £4 just for driving through the gates of the airport and £10 if you take more than 20 minutes to drop someone off. No discounts for disabled / wheelchair passengers either. Overstay by 10 seconds and it's a £60 penalty charge. Fail to pay and the baliffs will be sent within 14 days. £42 per day in the multi-storey car park.

The whole airport is run by jobsworths.

I'd rather do a transfer via Entebbe than use Liverpool again.

Did I mention that I am a scouser?

Only place I ever saw a condom machine positioned outside the bog.
 

jmb3296

War Hero
Havana
on the plus side the female staff were of the view that fishnets and figure hugging tops were the way to go.
getting in wasnt too bad. Getting out it was mind numbing admin push. Locals with exit flight tickets were particularly singled out to muck about.
lady in front of me completed her boarding card in blue ink rather than black ( or the other way round) it was torn in half in front of her, sent out the line to the back and to complete the card again.
she shrugged, picked up her kit and turned to head to the back.
i loaned her my pen, and let her back in front of me and was rewarded with a wonderful winning smile.
did I mention she had a gorgeous arse.

corfu, it’s shit

Pula it’s shit, lots of old migs lying around in the 1980s And staff who really couldnt give a shit even by airport standards.

any where in Vietnam, being awkward just because they can which was at total odds with our experience of the rest of the country
 

PFGEN

GCM
Tashkent in Uzbekistan is, without a doubt, the worst airport I have ever had the misfortune to refuel in.
We were on the ground for a good 45 minutes before the designated interpreter rolled up - in fishnet stockings, thigh high white leather boots and the same for the mini skirt. I remember thinking WTF???

That's just to distract you while they're robbing you. Never carry anything that could be conceived to hold any value. In Tashkent people were leaving customs with half the baggage they packed only to be stopped by the police for a random security check and a further lightening of the load.
 
Tashkent in Uzbekistan is, without a doubt, the worst airport I have ever had the misfortune to refuel in.
We were on the ground for a good 45 minutes before the designated interpreter rolled up - in fishnet stockings, thigh high white leather boots and the same for the mini skirt. I remember thinking WTF???

Was he a bootie?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Pula it’s shit, lots of old migs lying around in the 1980s And staff who really couldnt give a shit even by airport standards.

For an excitable 13 year old space cadet it was a wet dream. Lines of Mig 21s lining the active. Mils dotted about and the odd Jastreb. I was the only kid in the squadron who'd actually seen Hips, Hoplites and Fishbeds.
 
i was not too impressed by the kuwaiti airfield on telic 1 , as we landed there was some incoming rockets or scuds , so we had to put on full nbc kit whilst in the plane ! then run to scud pits , it was still a better customer experience than luton airport though
I was in HQ 7 X we got a bollocking for putting on NBC when that alarm went off as the suits etc were now deteriorating. On the next alarm we were only allowed to put on our respirator. After that we didn’t bother.
 
all time bad experience was at Lagos. During the volcano eruption that stopped all flights to Europe there had been no flights for a few weeks and on the day it was lifted the airport was rammed. Locals were looking to get a seat on anything and I don't think any of them had a ticket. We literally had to barge people out of the way to get to the check in desks. and they must have been 50 deep from the entrance. They don't move when asked to so it was elbows out and head down and plough through them. Zero attempt by the police to control any of it.

I'm glad it's all behind me now.
No, it was like that a lot of the time. I arrived once, in the middle of the night, to find that my BA ticket was for some unknown reason invalid; the whole place packed like screaming sardines, trying to find a body who could get me onto a flight was a serious nightmare. I finally found a sane body who put me onto Air France, whose business class seat had been left vacant because the seatback was bust. Upright, all the way to CdG. On one flight Lagos-London we had to stop at Majorca to refuel; they hadn't been able to get any gas at Lagos. On another, the flight to Dubai was delayed for 12 hours, so they put the pax into guest houses nearby. I got a very used room, in which I slept on the cleanest part of the floor.

Mind you, the booking system was so chaotic that I also once managed to fly from there to LHR for free, which was nice, as I was supposed to pay for it myself, at about £3.5k.

Luanda. Computer crashes and nobody knows how to fix it. Airport stops. 5th circle of Hell.
 
Kazakhstan had a few belters in the early days, particularly the one at Atyrau.
I landed there in 2011 as the guest of a Security Company formed of former Russian military types. From the aircraft door I was shown to a limo, and my passport handed out of the window to an official to be stamped. At the conclusion of my 'consultancy' I was counted out my fee in $100 bills and back onto the creaky Air Astana Boeing. That's how it's done.
(The limo driver asked, on the way out of the airport, if I wanted a woman, which was a nice touch).
 
Senior daughter reckons Miami International is the worst she's ever been to mainly because of the TSA nazi's who, she claims, go out of their way to make sure you miss your connecting flight. She was flying back to UK from Honduras and had a five hour stop over at Miami before her flight to Heathrow. The flight from Honduras arrived on time and she still missed her connecting flight because these apes were feckn around every passenger passing through that day. Fortunately, the airline (Delta) managed to get her on a flight via Boston and she arrived back in the UK nearly 18 hours late. She reckons Tegucigalpa is the scariest, not because of the approach for landing, but the knife wielding locals who hang around the airport.

 

Oyibo

LE
No, it was like that a lot of the time. I arrived once, in the middle of the night, to find that my BA ticket was for some unknown reason invalid; the whole place packed like screaming sardines, trying to find a body who could get me onto a flight was a serious nightmare. I finally found a sane body who put me onto Air France, whose business class seat had been left vacant because the seatback was bust. Upright, all the way to CdG. On one flight Lagos-London we had to stop at Majorca to refuel; they hadn't been able to get any gas at Lagos. On another, the flight to Dubai was delayed for 12 hours, so they put the pax into guest houses nearby. I got a very used room, in which I slept on the cleanest part of the floor.

Mind you, the booking system was so chaotic that I also once managed to fly from there to LHR for free, which was nice, as I was supposed to pay for it myself, at about £3.5k.

Luanda. Computer crashes and nobody knows how to fix it. Airport stops. 5th circle of Hell.

Lagos - computers go down when everyone is trying to escape check-in on an SAA 747 to Jo'burg. *****ng hel - like one of those mexican tag-team wrestling matches. Eventually the check-in staff jacked with the paper system and it was 'free seating' for everyone except first class. Pan-de-f*cking-monium

Cetshwayo could have learned a thing or two that night.

I made like a swastika to the boarding gate and windmilled my way to the front of cattle class - an emergency exit seat, niiice. Cape Malay bloke battled his way next to me.

Some pompous saffa bloke came up to us and demanded one of our seats because he was a 'platinum' member. Cape Malay bloke looked him squarely in the eye and said "you can f*ck off. I was here first". One of my eyebrows raised, Spock-like, in admiration. I told the the bloke where to go as well. But no. Platinum guy wasn't having that - he got the cabin crew and demanded one of our seats claiming he was a personal friend of the SAA CEO. By this time, me and my new partner in arms, or at least seats, were firmly locked into our seats of righteousness.

To cut a long story short, the 'friend of SAA's CEO' took the walk of shame to a seat at the back next to the bogs and all the loudest newborn babies from Nigeria.
 
Not me but my Dad went through Saigon airport on Pan Am (RAF officer hitching a ride) on the way somewhere else in ‘73 as things were going rapidly south for our cousins. Apparently the captain came up on the intercom thing and announced “Welcome to Saigon, ground fire is light to moderate” . Disembarkation was done at the run.
All US forces had left South Vietnam by 1973. I imagine Saigon airport must have been quite quiet.
 
Never actually went into the airport there. They let us off the RAF plane whilst it was being refuelled but we all had to stand on the grass next it. Puffing away like good uns, ISTR.
Of course, Belize airport is crap but outcrapped by Tegucigalpa in Honduras.
They didn't allow chickens on board at Belize but they piled them on at Tegucigalpa and San Salvador on the way to San Juan, Costa Rica.
Oh, and they stole lost my luggage at Tegucigalpa on the way back.
Flying TACA (Take a Chance Airlines) or SAHSA (Stay at Home, Stay Alive).
 
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