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Worst Airport in the World?

World's worst airport


  • Total voters
    27
I don't know about worst airport, but the worst railway station has got to be Edinburgh Waverley.

Bollocks, worst train station has got to be Westerbork (to Auschwitz)...Edinburgh is not as bad as this was.



At least if you go to Edinburgh, you're not going to get your gold fillings ripped out and end your days in a gas chamber, or worked until you die.
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
Bollocks, worst train station has got to be Westerbork (to Auschwitz)...Edinburgh is not as bad as this was.



At least if you go to Edinburgh, you're not going to get your gold fillings ripped out and end your days in a gas chamber, or worked until you die.
Maybe he meant Glasgow?
 

Oyibo

LE
I suspect the people who have posted on this thread are more widely travelled that the first-world-panic people who contributed to the article below:


Geneva!!! That's my local airport. It's fine.
 
Maybe he meant Glasgow?
Oh well, it that case - he might have a point. If you fancy getting 'chibbed' by a ginger midget, Glasgow is the place to go.
 
I did the "Why are you asking (axing?) for money" in a loud voice to a few years in Nigeria and then stumbled across a more satisfying solution courtesy of a guy you worked with (Initials DT - looks like Basil Faulty).

On being asked "do you have anything for me", pull oneself up to full height with a beatific smile and say something like "I do indeed - may the blessings of the Lord be upon you" or at Christmas time, "I do indeed -Season's Greetings!"

It's like an EMP strike to the Nigerian brain - it shuts it down completely.

A slight thread drift, but... A friend's (Nigerian) driver came up with an awesome pre-emptive strike. They were in their vehicle crawling out of their compound on Ikoyi, and there was a policeman ahead looking at them. 'Here we go' thought the friend. Policeman stopped them and approached the driver's side. The driver wound down his window, and before the copper could open his mouth the driver said "It's my birthday, what have you got for me?" Astonishingly, the copper gave the driver N500. That's the type of driver one needs in delightful places like Nigeria.
I was fortunate enough to have an allocated SPY policeman as my permanent driver, (who's family I still fund through school) who was a top bloke and knew where and when to travel. He avoided trouble on more than one occasion and loyalty was a two way street with him and he always had my back. He was always my instant go to int for what was going on with the unions which I fed back to the Country Manager and avoided a lot of grief for the expat families. From the day I landed in the job, the nationals wanted him replaced by a locally engaged national, presumably so they could filter the backdoor information. I fought tooth and nail to keep him and he is still there today, 10 years later.
I wanted to mention that as people are too quick to write off all Nigerians as being thieves and distrustful. Most are just trying to make the most of the shit hand they have been dealt in life.

(FYI: Nigerian Supernumerary (SPY) Police are just employed by the government as supernumerary police, unarmed and a bit like the TA or whatever they call them these days)
 

Oyibo

LE
I was fortunate enough to have an allocated SPY policeman as my permanent driver, (who's family I still fund through school) who was a top bloke and knew where and when to travel. He avoided trouble on more than one occasion and loyalty was a two way street with him and he always had my back. He was always my instant go to int for what was going on with the unions which I fed back to the Country Manager and avoided a lot of grief for the expat families. From the day I landed in the job, the nationals wanted him replaced by a locally engaged national, presumably so they could filter the backdoor information. I fought tooth and nail to keep him and he is still there today, 10 years later.
I wanted to mention that as people are too quick to write off all Nigerians as being thieves and distrustful. Most are just trying to make the most of the shit hand they have been dealt in life.

(FYI: Nigerian Supernumerary (SPY) Police are just employed by the government as supernumerary police, unarmed and a bit like the TA or whatever they call them these days)

Fully agreed with your point about them trying to make the best of the shitty hand they have been dealt.

It was always a bonus to have SPY police - their loyalty is to the company rather than the bribe-grabbing chain of command. I thought the system had been binned about 5 years ago though?
 
Fully agreed with your point about them trying to make the best of the shitty hand they have been dealt.

It was always a bonus to have SPY police - their loyalty is to the company rather than the bribe-grabbing chain of command. I thought the system had been binned about 5 years ago though?
Possibly. Let me find out. SPY was a good money earner for the police as we paid for their training and their salary top up.

Looks like it's still current.

 
Bollocks, worst train station has got to be Westerbork (to Auschwitz)...Edinburgh is not as bad as this was.



At least if you go to Edinburgh, you're not going to get your gold fillings ripped out and end your days in a gas chamber, or worked until you die.

But it does mean you’re in Scotland...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Glad_its_all_over

ADC
Book Reviewer
I have to say I never had any issues with dash at Lagos. Crass inefficiency and incompetence, sure. Panic when I first arrived and stood at the terminal door and saw the howling mob against the fence around the terminal and had no idea how to find my driver and escort, certainly.

Best visit ever was my last one, when I had been asked to speak at some conference (no, nor do I, I suspect they got confused). This was Federal government sponsored and some deeply scary but very nice chaps in decent suits and very dark sunglasses sorted out a real seamless magic carpet trip off the aeroplane, through customs and immigration and my bag was in the boot of the Merc when we got to it. after a refreshing Embassy Number One outside the terminal.
 
That city is reminiscent of the Hell envisioned by James Blish (Black Easter); I've never hated a city before, never having had to, but the concrete canyons and soullessness of the place did that for me. The airport was always kind to me when leaving.
Murtallah Mohammed, before and during the rebuild, really was hell, in every possible aspect. Afterward, it was just purgatory. PH is just PH; what more can you say?

Go by train if possible. Only salarymen need the speed of air travel.
 

Glad_its_all_over

ADC
Book Reviewer
That city is reminiscent of the Hell envisioned by James Blish (Black Easter); I've never hated a city before, never having had to, but the concrete canyons and soullessness of the place did that for me. The airport was always kind to me when leaving.
Murtallah Mohammed, before and during the rebuild, really was hell, in every possible aspect. Afterward, it was just purgatory. PH is just PH; what more can you say?

Go by train if possible. Only salarymen need the speed of air travel.
I don't mnd the city overmuch, pretty much SOP North American with extra Canuck niceness - the airport's OK, with the exception of the US Immigration part you go through before flying South to the Land Of The Free. Ignorant, unhelpful, obnoxious, arrogant fuckwits from TSA and USCBP, obviously hand-picked for service in the Frozen North, who take huge delight in being obstructive, rude and unhelpful. It's a big enough pain going to the US, even with a visa and Trusted Traveller status, without deliberately making it worse.
 

Oyibo

LE
That city is reminiscent of the Hell envisioned by James Blish (Black Easter); I've never hated a city before, never having had to, but the concrete canyons and soullessness of the place did that for me. The airport was always kind to me when leaving.
Murtallah Mohammed, before and during the rebuild, really was hell, in every possible aspect. Afterward, it was just purgatory. PH is just PH; what more can you say?

Go by train if possible. Only salarymen need the speed of air travel.

Random fact for pub quizzes - Murtallah Mohammed was built to the same design as Schipol

PH - Just utterly shit (although my mother-in-law was there in the '60s and loved it).
 
That city is reminiscent of the Hell envisioned by James Blish (Black Easter); I've never hated a city before, never having had to, but the concrete canyons and soullessness of the place did that for me. The airport was always kind to me when leaving.
Murtallah Mohammed, before and during the rebuild, really was hell, in every possible aspect. Afterward, it was just purgatory. PH is just PH; what more can you say?

Go by train if possible. Only salarymen need the speed of air travel.
Trains in Africa?

Someone needs a hug.
 
I was fortunate enough to have an allocated SPY policeman as my permanent driver, (who's family I still fund through school) who was a top bloke and knew where and when to travel. He avoided trouble on more than one occasion and loyalty was a two way street with him and he always had my back. He was always my instant go to int for what was going on with the unions which I fed back to the Country Manager and avoided a lot of grief for the expat families. From the day I landed in the job, the nationals wanted him replaced by a locally engaged national, presumably so they could filter the backdoor information. I fought tooth and nail to keep him and he is still there today, 10 years later.
I wanted to mention that as people are too quick to write off all Nigerians as being thieves and distrustful. Most are just trying to make the most of the shit hand they have been dealt in life.

(FYI: Nigerian Supernumerary (SPY) Police are just employed by the government as supernumerary police, unarmed and a bit like the TA or whatever they call them these days)
SPY police were far more to be trusted (in my part of the game, at least) than MOPOLs, who were as corrupt and incompetent as any to be found anywhere around the continent. That's a broad-brush; the truth is that there were, in my times around Nigeria, some quite outstanding Coppers, who seriously and sincerely wanted to do the Job; damned few, but when you found them, they were people you appreciated being there. I met a senior body at Bonny who was deeply into his PG correspondence course with (I think) Leicester University, and who was the sort of bloke who inspired trust almost immediately; I later heard that he moved to Canada, a loss for Nigeria. The same in Zim, where a DC in BeitBridge had the same coppery-policey spark, and who warned me about the CIO's plans (he's in London now, so no personal security issues). Never met one good policeman in Tanzania though. Shits, the lot of them.
 

Oyibo

LE
Hey, I used Juba in the 60s, and it was just lovely.

The first time I went to Nigeria (early 2000s) I had an ex SSS guy as the local security manager. He recounted how some British bloke had a mother who had lived in PH in the '60s and asked him if he could arrange a tour for her.

According to the Nigerian manager he picked her up at the airport, and when they got to the shit hole the city had become she burst into tears. In its day PH was reckoned to be beautiful - not many who would say that any more.
 

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