Worst Airport in the World?

World's worst airport


  • Total voters
    14

Oyibo

LE
Which is the most truly effing awful airport you have had the misfortune to visit? Charles de Gaulle is excluded because it is the Baglock of shit airports. I'm thinking more of the places where people take sheep and fowl onto planes; where refusing to pay a bribe will cost several hours of stubbornness; and where every item in your baggage suddenly is deemed to be dangerous air cargo, unless....

My top ones:

  • Peshawar 1990s. Just fu*king madness
  • Lagos early noughties. The volume of people and the noise
  • Goma last year. Is this really an airport?
  • Port Gentil at any time. You can f*ck right off with that shit about needing a receipt for my laptop.
  • And so on.
No first world airports allowed, only the truly shitty ones with crashed aircraft alongside the runway next to obsolescent Soviet air defence systems.

In your own time, go on.
 
Which is the most truly effing awful airport you have had the misfortune to visit? Charles de Gaulle is excluded because it is the Baglock of shit airports. I'm thinking more of the places where people take sheep and fowl onto planes; where refusing to pay a bribe will cost several hours of stubbornness; and where every item in your baggage suddenly is deemed to be dangerous air cargo, unless....

My top ones:

  • Peshawar 1990s. Just fu*king madness
  • Lagos early noughties. The volume of people and the noise
  • Goma last year. Is this really an airport?
  • Port Gentil at any time. You can f*ck right off with that shit about needing a receipt for my laptop.
  • And so on.
No first world airports allowed, only the truly shitty ones with crashed aircraft alongside the runway next to obsolescent Soviet air defence systems.

In your own time, go on.
Luton is not in the first world.
 
Which is the most truly effing awful airport you have had the misfortune to visit? Charles de Gaulle is excluded because it is the Baglock of shit airports. I'm thinking more of the places where people take sheep and fowl onto planes; where refusing to pay a bribe will cost several hours of stubbornness; and where every item in your baggage suddenly is deemed to be dangerous air cargo, unless....

My top ones:

  • Peshawar 1990s. Just fu*king madness
  • Lagos early noughties. The volume of people and the noise
  • Goma last year. Is this really an airport?
  • Port Gentil at any time. You can f*ck right off with that shit about needing a receipt for my laptop.
  • And so on.
No first world airports allowed, only the truly shitty ones with crashed aircraft alongside the runway next to obsolescent Soviet air defence systems.

In your own time, go on.
Why don't we narrow it down... International airports only?
 
Dakar, Senegal.
Never actually went into the airport there. They let us off the RAF plane whilst it was being refuelled but we all had to stand on the grass next it. Puffing away like good uns, ISTR.
Of course, Belize airport is crap but outcrapped by Tegucigalpa in Honduras.
They didn't allow chickens on board at Belize but they piled them on at Tegucigalpa and San Salvador on the way to San Juan, Costa Rica.
Oh, and they stole lost my luggage at Tegucigalpa on the way back.
 

Oyibo

LE
Never actually went into the airport there. They let us off the RAF plane whilst it was being refuelled but we all had to stand on the grass next it. Puffing away like good uns, ISTR.
Of course, Belize airport is crap but outcrapped by Tegucigalpa in Honduras.
They didn't allow chickens on board at Belize but they piled them on at Tegucigalpa and San Salvador on the way to San Juan, Costa Rica.
Oh, and they stole lost my luggage at Tegucigalpa on the way back.
You've just reminded me - Huambo (Angola) airport in the '90s. About to take off and I was having my 'last cigarette' (it could have been exactly that). Elderly woman next to me complained while the two chickens in the basket on her lap were going mad.
 
I would agree with Lagos but would add Kisangani, Zaire. You had to run the aircraft to secure a seat, once all seats were full, including some of the largest women ever seen squeezed into 18 inches of airline seat,pigs and chickens secured in overhead compartments, the door was closed and take off attempted.
 
Christ Oyibo, where do I start!
Nigerian airports top the charts I believe, no matter where they are. Abuja, the capital city, by all accounts, domestic was a hovel. Their baggage belt consisted of rollers and any that wasn't grabbed off went to the end and fell off into a big pile with all the 'Ghana must go' bags.
I could write a book about African airports but I bet @Lardbeast knows them all. Some those in the DRC are hairy, most nothing much more than a hangar with a sand floor and a dirt runway. Throw in a few drunken Ukrainian pilots and it makes life interesting. Air Afrique I recall.
Kazakhstan had a few belters in the early days, particularly the one at Attrau. Land at 4am, -40oC. No luggage handling but they do drag in into a pitch black hangar and you take your stuff off and out. The experienced visitors have a torch in their hand baggage, everyone else fvcks around in the dark. The officials scam is to rip off the luggage labels which they check on your way out. No label, it'll cost you a bung to get your bag. On the way out, they'd confiscate all the local currency off you.

My all time bad experience was at Lagos. During the volcano eruption that stopped all flights to Europe there had been no flights for a few weeks and on the day it was lifted the airport was rammed. Locals were looking to get a seat on anything and I don't think any of them had a ticket. We literally had to barge people out of the way to get to the check in desks. and they must have been 50 deep from the entrance. They don't move when asked to so it was elbows out and head down and plough through them. Zero attempt by the police to control any of it.

I'm glad it's all behind me now.
 
Manas International. Our quiet laughter dried up as we realised that despite not having a ticket the goat was coming too. Surreal as it looked to be a nice modern place full of US Air Force planes parked up on the apron and out front the locals stood in a circle chucking a bit of vertebrae as some kind of game. Then, the unspeakable chaos of Dushanbe where the goat had the least issues reclaiming luggage and the least paperwork. The sh1t I do for money sometimes.
 
I know you said only third world, so I reckon LAX
 
Bastion
Brize
MPA
 
Dakar, Senegal.
Flew back to UK from Ascencion in 1982 - RAF VC stopped there to refuel. We were allowed off the aircraft to stretch our legs but not to move more than 100m away from the aircraft, which was on the end of the runway and nowhere near any buildings.

There were wild dogs roaming around the area. Mind you, it was difficult to tell with the shimmer from the heat haze, they could have been hyenas...
 
I forgot to mention Sierra Leone.
Went there a few times. The Freetown airport is outside Freetown and the only way to get to the city is by a 12 man open boat. Thats nice, I hear you saying.
It's about 45 minutes on the boat and it is as rough as feck, spray coming over the side and raggy life vests made of sponge. Every journey we did, the driver had to stop, hoike the engines out and clear the fishing nets, all the while we are bobbing around in rough sea.
Funnily enough, the security at the airport was being run by UK Border force blokes.
 
Entebbe is a charming place. The bullet holes really add the ambience.
The new airport is not that bad. No bullet holes and Ugandans are pretty good folks on the whole.

You're thinking of the old airport.

Entebbe-Bunia 007.jpg
 
Flew back to UK from Ascencion in 1982 - RAF VC stopped there to refuel. We were allowed off the aircraft to stretch our legs but not to move more than 100m away from the aircraft, which was on the end of the runway and nowhere near any buildings.

There were wild dogs roaming around the area. Mind you, it was difficult to tell with the shimmer from the heat haze, they could have been hyenas...
It was night time when we stopped there. All I could see apart from the lights of the terminal was a line of about 3 Dakotas in the distance. There was a couple of Air Despatch lads amongst us who were having orgasims just looking at them.
 

Latest Threads

Top