Taken from 'The Economist', 7th July 2012. Obituary for 'Lonesome George', the Galapagos tortoise: 'In 1993 two females of a different sub-species [of tortoise] were put into his corral. He ignored them. When at last he finally decided to do his duty, in 2008 and occasionally later, the eggs failed to hatch. Clearly he was a slow burner. Possibly he was gay. He refused to be turned on even when a female Swiss zoology graduate, smeared in tortoise hormones, gave him manual stimulation for four months'. A 120 days wanking off a queer tortoise? Surely even Army dog handlers get more time off.