World's worst job

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by weekend_worrier, Jul 12, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Taken from 'The Economist', 7th July 2012. Obituary for 'Lonesome George', the Galapagos tortoise:

    'In 1993 two females of a different sub-species [of tortoise] were put into his corral. He ignored them. When at last he finally decided to do his duty, in 2008 and occasionally later, the eggs failed to hatch. Clearly he was a slow burner. Possibly he was gay. He refused to be turned on even when a female Swiss zoology graduate, smeared in tortoise hormones, gave him manual stimulation for four months'.

    A 120 days wanking off a queer tortoise? Surely even Army dog handlers get more time off.
     
  2. Its a bad job, but surely Abu Hamzas arse wiper must be even worse?
     
  3. I dunno. SPSI must be up there.
     
  4. Have the Wedge upset you recently? You seem to be mentioning them in many of your posts?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Obviously didn't get a high enough score to get in the Engineers.
     
  6. I don't wish to detract from inter-service banter by any means, however, the honey sucker operator on Agricola III seemed to be a fairly fucking awful employment. From outside looking in, you understand.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. There was a bloke on my Class one Fitters course who had transferred form The Lifeguards(i think).One of the jobs he mentioned was "sheath cleaning".I believe it's cleaning all the smeg from a horses foreskin,unless he was winding us up.
     

  8. yes staff - but that was because you were short , ginger and a cunt
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. I still wonder how that Swiss zoologist felt when she got her first job. Must have wondered if the tuition fees were worth it.
     
  10. Surely then that job would be the dogs bollocks,or pretty damn close.
    Anyone know the number of the local taxi firm?
     
  11. Yes, it's very subjective. When comparing the "lots" between someone who is employed to pump the shit out of NATO Portaloos in high summer (trying to breathe through a filter improvised from your own work stained clothes) and freezing winter (having to smash the piss-ice with a hammer in order to suck out the shite)with the alternative of not being employed by SFOR in say the 'terp role, yes, tough decision.

    Although it does remind me of the time two colleagues were lifting bin bags of human waste onto BV ski racks for onward disposal. Eventually one of the bags of shite was carelessly dragged over a hook on the ski rack, disembowelling the half filled bin bag and emptying several kilos of fermenting piss and shite all over Danny who's turn it was to lift, as opposed to Dave who was in the ski rack in the "lift OVER the hooks" position.

    Oh how we laughed, well all of us except Danny of course. Meh.
     
  12. You can't buy experiences like that in civvy street. It's why I've loved the Army.
     
  13. There's an African lass where I work. She told us she once had a job back in her own country as a Royal Penis Washer for her king.
     
  14. I assume she washed it firmly yet quickly?
     
  15. I have some horsey friends, that is true. Supposed to be done twice a year, which sounds about right.