I thought flying from Manchester to Heathrow would be so much easier than driving. Whatever that domestic terminal is was chaos, this was 1997. I gave BA a miss until 2006 and it was even worse.
Never, ever again.
Hate airports …… with a passion, they are only fit for rabbits, like the warrens of Middle Earth! Totally incoherent! You spend hours trying to find your way around the terminal looking for gate 27, 86, 13 or some unrelated number!! As for short-timed connections, forget them, you end up sleeping on the floor!! Running through endless thoroughfares like demented rabbits is not my idea of fun! Schiphol airport is the worst, security seems to find it amusing to search you when you are in a rush, searched me because my canvass belt was sewn to my trousers, thus irremovable …… batards! Nearly cost me a flight, made it to the plane just as the door was closing, sweating and semi-dressed and whispering under my breath “you can stick your tulips up your backside!!”
Most probably how ever I will not be paying £9.40 for the first 2 hour car park charge what a rip off, I hope young sprig has some money left for it daddy had a small admin mistake as well and only brought £20 and no plastic.
Schiphol airport is the worst, security seems to find it amusing to search you when you are in a rush, searched me because my canvass belt was sewn to my trousers, thus irremovable …… batards! Nearly cost me a flight, made it to the plane just as the door was closing, sweating and semi-dressed and whispering under my breath “you can stick your tulips up your backside!!”
Philip Goldson airport, Belize. International shit hole. Tegucigalpa Honduras, makes Belize airport seem like heaven. Atlanta, Georgia, a massive hub with no-one who has a clue. Probably got a downer on the last as we were at gate 7 for a flight to Las Vegas, then told gate change to 23 right at the other end of the airport. 10 minutes later, gate change to 14 which was right next to gate 7 where we first started.
UK airports are all crap, Heathrow dirty and disorganised (especially BA). Most of them appear to be shopping centres with an airport tacked on. No water to be taken through to departures but you can buy a little bottle for £2.50 when you get there, absolute rip-off. Birmingham, couldn't get a cup of coffee at 6.30 am but the bleeding bar was open! Advice on going to Orlando, don't choose Orlando International, opt for Sandford instead. It might take longer to get to Orlando but it'll take hours to get through customs and car hire at International, at least Sandford has a bit of organisation about it.
Come to think of it, can't think of a decent airport. Dulles at Washington wasn't too bad and they have those cool buses that clamp onto the side of the aircraft and whisk you to the arrival lounge. They look at you a bit odd when you ask for a pitcher of beer and don't want a glass, though. Straight out of the pitcher, thank you very much.
Paris Orly. Got to the gate in my wheelchair.
Frog. "where's your minder?"
Me. "I don't have one."
Frog. "You cannot go on the aeroplane alone."
Me. "I arrived alone."
Frog. "It is not allowed"
Me. "It was allowed when I arrived."
...and so on until they were ready to close the gate then the officious bastard waved me through.
I fucking hate Paris!
Other than that, Gander. Not only is the airport crap, bloody cold and in the middle of nowhere, but the coffee was the worst I've ever had the misfortune to drink!