Worlds waltiest TA soldier

#1
Having read the Cardinals thread I realised that sometimes TA soldiers can be a bit odd, so here are my worst, all have now left the unit so...**** them

Soldier A. Went on ops, ended up being the brew bitch but that was too much for them. Was escorted home after threatening to slot her boss, whilst walking into an O group, holding a rifle

Soldier B. Seemed normal, rtc no problem, trade no problem, deployed to Afghanistan, no problem. Was put forward for an MBE by close family member, soldier then vanished off our radar only to reappear every so often telling stories of FTRS deployments no one in the CoC was aware of.

Soldier C. Not normal, appeared odd from the outset. Became very odd on trade training when found in his bunk wearing an ice hockey mask and holding a large plastic knife.

Do we do psychological profiling on recruits ?
 
#2
Are these attributes unique to the TA or does the same occur with regulars?
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#4
I once met a TA (sprog/untrained) armourer who was part of 23 SAS LAD.

He rocked up at Bordon in full jungle kit, sandy beret, the lot and proceeded to regale us all with his Bear Grylls survival tales and how he like to stalk deer and catch them with his bare hands. Eventually he was laughed out of the classroom for telling his instructor how it was pointless him learning about the SA80 because his unit only ever used 'M4 variants.'

Oh he also managed to drop a brand spanking new L115A3 off a tank, ******* it big style in the process.

Ha, the ****.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
#6
Are these attributes unique to the TA or does the same occur with regulars?
When I worked at LAND there was a case of a Phase 1 trainee (Reg) who caved his his section Corporal's head in with a pick axe whilst out on the Plain.

Full screw went to hospital and lived. Trainee was, iirc, discharged SNLR.

Nut jobs everywhere, not just passing out of TA basic.....

Waltiest TA soldier I met had to be either the Geordie " former Foreign Legion ' guy at PWOG Bks Grantham or the segeant with an Airborne fetish who tried to get everyone over to Belgium to do ' a weekend jump course which entitles you to wear Belgian Army wings'....I don't think he got any takers in my Unit but I expect there were a few around.
 
#7
The TA does seem to attract some lunatics. Doubtless the regulars have their fair share, but the lack of 'contact time' in phase 1 plus the fractured nature of instruction (different RTC DS from weekend to weekend and TSC A and B conducted by separate training teams) and the low standards mean that more pass through the net.

Generally this lot can be spotted by their facebook page which will include their employment as 'Soldier, British Army' and their picture cammed up looking like a DPM baked potato.
 
T

Tinman74

Guest
#8
I once met a TA (sprog/untrained) armourer who was part of 23 SAS LAD.

He rocked up at Bordon in full jungle kit, sandy beret, the lot and proceeded to regale us all with his Bear Grylls survival tales and how he like to stalk deer and catch them with his bare hands. Eventually he was laughed out of the classroom for telling his instructor how it was pointless him learning about the SA80 because his unit only ever used 'M4 variants.'

Oh he also managed to drop a brand spanking new L115A3 off a tank, ******* it big style in the process.

Ha, the ****.
Hoped he got billed for the Rifle!!
 
#10
Before i joined the unit. But there was a recruit who tipped up on an intro weekend with his own assault vest loaded with flashbangs he used in airsoft. Then went to do a CQB lane and proceeded to argue with DS, and the RSM who was watching in, on how best to do fire manoeuvre. He absolutely refused to back down because he knew better from airsoft. Sadly it was no brilliant wah and was politely asked not to return.

Another airsofter who was a bit more normal and lasted a bit longer jumped with glee when he got his first bounty. He could not stop talking about how he was going to use it to buy a WW2 British uniform for his airsoft weekends. He soon after ran off to be an AI in the cadets.
 
#11
Soldier C. Not normal, appeared odd from the outset. Became very odd on trade training when found in his bunk wearing an ice hockey mask and holding a large plastic knife.
I remember that. He was walking around accom wearing a Ice Hockey mask, I thought I was seeing things (alcohol induced) .. it wasn't a knife it was a plastic meat cleaver. I remember a collective ......SHIT...... before we realised it was plastic.

He was also a 'manager' at Morrissons ... used to tell tales about it for months but didn't see me on smoke breaks, while he was collecting trolley's. Think he was ditched as soon as he'd got past the numbers game ... oops recruit training

Also met his twin brother. He'd managed to get 3 army numbers (from medics, inf and sigs). Inf unit sent a warning to every local unit not to take him on (but numbers game failed to read it). He got sacked once in unit, think I refused to have him in my troop but that still didn't get him out. He still had to threaten to shoot people on the ranges before the penny dropped with COC. WHY!
 
#12
We had a lad tip up on a selection weekend wearing a 1 PARA t shirt.........I'll let you fill in the blanks. But he'd done 3 Op Banners, served in iraq and Kosovo plus he was a pathfinder. Not a bad record when you consider he was 19. He didn't last long. Last seen wearing PARA 2's at a wedding. Ebay specials i'm sure.
 
#13
Not my Coy thankfully, this chap took a dislike to one or two folk end result portacabins at the TAC were lit up.
Confessed to Police a good while later.
 
#14
Ive known a couple rocking about in wings they havent earnt and being caught out. Best one was an RLC TA SNCO who would don a beige beret and try to blag the Hereford gig to recruits and the rest of the training team. He eventually came a cropper too.
 
#15
But in our case, the most deranged TA soldier in history has still not been binned 10 years after joining us after the Stab monkeys got disbanded. You could literally write a book on his exploits....
OMG you mean ROCK?
 
#17
We have got a bloke who got caught living at the TAC. He told his family that he had gone on ops. He was even popping over to asda to by tanning moisturiser.
 
#18
Grown men dont ust the expression 'OMG', especially not here. Man up you mongtard.
It was the shock of the thought of that person, if you had met him you'd understand why, kicked out of a specialist RMP unit in 1992 (never washed, always seemed to be dry shaving (badly), Italian looking with a brummie accent, used to tell everyone that he owned and ran a snack wagon on A45, no ordinary snack waggon as yes it was an undercover SAS installation! Crazily he got took on by a RLC TA movers unit, did hear he nearly blew a RFA up when handling some ammo aboard ship!
 
#19
When I was on basic training at Grantham I bashered up for the first night in the field with a lad who was evangelical Christian. The next day we were going to be taught fire & manoeuvring and section attacks so we knew we needed to get some sleep before a tiring day’s training. He asked me if I wanted to read his bible with him. By the light of his head torch he started reading the bible aloud in the halting and hesitant voice of an illiterate. I fell asleep but was woken in the night by the sound of a rain shower and was astonished to hear that he was still droning on, sounding out each word syllable by syllable. During the next day’s section attacks he burst into tears and went home.
 
#20
I know someone who conspicuously wandered around during OPTAG and on tour sans headress & rank slide, straining to create an air of off-hand "special" mystique.

He also managed to put a round into his own vehicle while rehearsing contact drills, and later posted a photo of the hole on Facebook titled "Multi-weapon ambush on the Jallalabad road".

A while after that he was commissioned into the AGC, only to cause much much fury among the green slime after being repeatedly seen cutting around in an Int Corps beret. After which he often donned an HAC Light Cavalry thunderbird hat.

Lovely bloke though, and proud possessor of a truly epic porn stash which would bring tears of pride to the eyes of most ARRSErs.

Didn't bump into any while I was a regular, mind. I'm sure there were some though, strutting around pretending to be me. :)
 

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