Work f**k ups and how to get away with them! Confession time

#1
So what about a thread confessing to major f**k ups at work and how you extricated yourself from them?

We must all have skeletons in our cupboards along these lines. :oops:

Here’s a quick one for starters:

When I was a Police officer, I lost the sole piece of physical evidence in a criminal case. Court looming and can I find the bloody thing? (The evidence store is for poofs!)

I had a particular hatred for the defendant, (totally evil, dangerous scumbag) so I go and buy the same item down town at lunch time, in the evidence bag it goes, write up the labels and the job's a good’un!

Dickhead got 6 months, although he was guilty as sin, so I was not fitting him up or anything.

He is now doing a lengthy stretch for manslaughter, having gone on to kill two men in the one night, cnut.

A victory for justice! :D :D :D


Get owning up ARRSERS!
 
#3
Did the evidence eventually show up?
 
#4
ExRAMC_STAB said:
Did the evidence eventually show up?
I can't remember now, probably not. I do remember throwing the replacement in the skip though.

I want some confessions here chaps, I've got loads and I am feeling very lonely and isolated here so far. :oops: :oops:

There is safety in numbers! :wink:

For legal purposes lets just state that all tales told here are purely fictional.
 
#6
Too many things to confess to, we'd be here all day I'm afraid.
 
#7
SparkySteve said:
The_Goon said:
I suppose it's ok considering the evidence was there in the first place
Is it fuck!

Still, the (hopefully) right bloke went down for it.
Oh it was him alright, I witnessed it.


Trust me, the guy is an evil, evil man.

2 murders, reduced to manslaughter, rape (got a way with it) serious assaults, burglary etc.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#9
I once sank a police car. We had had a lot of rain, and roads were flooded. I was on nights with a colleague known to all as 'Tiger' (legends galore about him).
We decided that the only way to check if a road was passable was to drive it. Probably a Mk 2 Escort wasn't the optimum vehicle, but was all we had. Halfway through a very quiet night, and bored to bugger, we came to a ford, Tiger thought it looked too deep, but as I was driving I thought we could make it, so went for it. As the water rose inside the car to knee height, I was having second thoughts. Tiger was on radio saying " This is B43, we are sinking fast, this will be our last transmission', and then gave our location, just a moment before radio cut out, along with everything else. We got out of car, and were waist deep in fast-flowing water, and pushe (floated?) car back onto dry-ish ground, where we proceeded to bail it out. A short while later, a Traffic div Range Rover arrived, with a sgt named Sam, who asked -from other side of ford- how to get to us. Wasn't impressed when I told him to drive through. Car eventually started, which was a great advert for Fords.
I thought I would be suspended from driving, and possibly work, but my Chief Super was a copper of old school, and congratulated me on initiative.
Tape of Tiger's message did the rounds of force for months. From then on, our callsign was always given as 'Stingray 2'.
 
#11
BlotBangRub said:
I had a particular hatred for the defendant, (totally evil, dangerous scumbag) so I go and buy the same item down town at lunch time, in the evidence bag it goes, write up the labels and the job's a good’un!
Presume the evidence in question wasn't a corpse then :wink:
 
#12
a_nony_mouse said:
BlotBangRub said:
I had a particular hatred for the defendant, (totally evil, dangerous scumbag) so I go and buy the same item down town at lunch time, in the evidence bag it goes, write up the labels and the job's a good’un!
Presume the evidence in question wasn't a corpse then :wink:
:D :D :D

It was an offensive weapon case. I just lost the 'weapon' :oops:

He had tried to wrap it round my head, so I am in no doubt about his guilt. :threaten:

I'm not that bad guys!!!!

It wasn't the Guildford 4 or anything.
 
#13
Dont lose any sleep BBR, sounds like he deserved it and the streets are safer with him off them.

Typed an email intended for a friend majorly slagging the boss off and calling him all sorts of colourful names. Only sent it to the boss himself. Twat. Got dragged over the coals for that little gem.
 
#14
Reviewing the SOCO pics we noticed in one outside shot an empty black bin liner the wind had blown under a bush.

DCI wanted this case 110% water tight- no room for a clever brief to throw any shadow on our evidence.
Problem was the bag had nothing to do with the crime and had blown away
so wasn't bagged.

Not good enough for our DCI.
Someone was detailed to find a black bag, bag it and log it as evidence.

Of course it wasn't needed- ahem!
 
#15
archer said:
Reviewing the SOCO pics we noticed in one outside shot an empty black bin liner the wind had blown under a bush.

DCI wanted this case 110% water tight- no room for a clever brief to throw any shadow on our evidence.
Problem was the bag had nothing to do with the crime and had blown away
so wasn't bagged.

Not good enough for our DCI.
Someone was detailed to find a black bag, bag it and log it as evidence.

Of course it wasn't needed- ahem!
YES!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

Get in there, I was panicking I had posted in the bloody Scripture Union, not the NAAFI bar

Next time; how I nearly caused a fatal aircraft crash and still got recommended for a commendation. :oops:
 
#16
BBR you need to try and get a job as Frank Burnsde in the bill :D God drills.

We drove a warrior (my commanders fault honest)into the DRES in Canada on Medman in 1993. The DRES for those who havent been to BATUS is a vast area of the prairie where supposed chemical etc experiments have taken place and has a barbed wire perimeter fence around it. It is rumoured to be full of double headed rabbits/goohers etc and a lot of the Bin Bunnies from Med Hat Sin Bin were probably raised there by the look of them :wink: .

After drivin a few hundred metres into the DRES we did a quick U turn threw the fences we'd smashed up into the ditches and disappeared without trace. Well we thought we'd got away with it until later that day an all stations call over the radio reminding people of the dangers of the DRES. Since then Ive lost all my hair, got fatter and have a nice glow to me but I dont think it did me any harm. :geek:
 
#17
I crashed a land rover into a bridge about 18 years ago, smashed the front up (but it was still driveable until the next day) after doing first works! (Did last works the night before honest gov!) I started the rover for it to move only 1 inch and start making a huge banging noise. The halve shaft fell off the diff??

Much to my amazement the REME (airborne chap) was really please as this meant he did not have to jump that day and did not fancy a few nights in the woods were rain was forecast.

He promptly did a temp repair (removed all the workings from the front diff) and let us drive the vehicle back (rear wheel drive) to camp (300 miles away) on getting to camp I was warned for orders subject to the REME report. Thankfully I found some MUD, Black nasty, a blob of glue and some patch paint. Patched the front up with the aid of a lump hammer and looked as good as new. REME report said crown pin failed (manufacturer fault) I got away with it (only 19years old at the time)

A couple of years after this on another camp whistling along with a trailer on the back and then f*ck what’s that noise as I watch my trailer pass me and smash into another vehicle. It gets better of all the people I needed to see this was a techy (rsigs) WO1 watch all this unfold. As it happened he actually was not interested in this and got one of his TTS’s to deal with it (test tube sergeants) thankfully this F*ck wit did not have a back bone and left it in the hands of the Reme guys, again what saved me was a 4 tonne jack, a wooden pallet and a rather large yellow handbag along with some patch paint saved the day.

You have hand it to those REME guys, they will do anything for a yellow handbag
 
#18
The_Rattler said:
You have hand it to those REME guys, they will do anything for a yellow handbag
Cheers Rattler, I know mate :relax: Its the only way your car would get through the BFG in the old days. :wink:
 
#19
not me im afraid, but i know a bloke ...

...who was driving a landrover back from annual camp on the motorway. we had come off exercise the night before and drove back on next to no sleep. i had stopped at a service station to stock up on choccy bars and coffee, and got busted by our Honorary Colonel who was fuelling his own car. as i had a pleasant chat with the Colonel, it turns out my butty had fallen asleep at the wheel and left the motorway ... disaster was averted when he opened his eyes and instinctively stamped on the brakes - apparently his first thought was 'you dont get wooden fences across the motorway'!!

on the same trip i overtook another of our rovers, when the driver leaned against the door - which burst open. luckily he had a belt on, but the look on his face!!
 
#20
a_nony_mouse said:
BlotBangRub said:
I had a particular hatred for the defendant, (totally evil, dangerous scumbag) so I go and buy the same item down town at lunch time, in the evidence bag it goes, write up the labels and the job's a good’un!
Presume the evidence in question wasn't a corpse then :wink:
http://www.cashconverters.co.uk/ :p
 
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