Work colleagues who drop you in it.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by once_a_maverick, Aug 25, 2009.

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  1. You know the ones. Nice as pie, but they haven't got a deceptive bone in their body.

    When they tell you that they "bumped into your missus in the Naafi at lunchtime" you just know that the next time you see your beloved you are in for some grief.

    Wife - "who's Alison"
    Maverick - "one of the girls at work"
    Wife - " dont you mean one of the girls at work that has a massive chest and flirts all the time?"
    Maverick - "well you are right she does have a massive chest, and she does flirt a lot but she knows that I am a one woman man and she would have no chance with me"
    Wife - "so she didn't pull her top down and shove her massive chest in your face at the Christmas party 3 years ago then?"

    Wife - " You told me that function last week was Stag"

    Wife - "So you didn't get your bonus this year then, funny how £$%^&^ asked me if you had bought me anything nice with it."

    Wife - "Thanks for telling the entire world about the incident in the bathroom which I specifically asked you not to."

    I realise these are all a little tame for the Naafi bar but I'm sure that you can come up with some others.
  2. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Women mate, especially work colleagues just cant be trusted.
  3. Snakes with tits.
  4. Particularly like the bollocking emails (which, if the timesheet system worked properly, wouldn't have been sent) - being cc'd to everyone in the office - class touch.

    Definately a "Just the one sugar in your rimming, I mean coffee then?"
  5. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Better that type than the one's who will drop you in the shite to make themselves look better.
  6. Plenty of those about, the trick is to find out who is likely to do that and build a nice little dossier of shite on them.
  7. Haven't got a work colleague who does it, but the wife does.

    Stupid cow went & told the cops I'd smacked her around the house & kicked her down the stairs. After I'd expressly told her to say she'd "walked into a door". Thats 3yrs curtesy of HM Prison Service, I'll never get back. Bless the silly bitch. Women eh? :roll:
  8. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Basics Miner, Basics. You left her with the ability to talk. Schoolboy error.
  9. Would that be the one involving the loofah, depilatory cream & the 2nd Bat CG's ?
  10. Wife - "When were you planning on telling me that you had applied for an extension/operational tour/overseas posting/course etc."
  11. No the one involving the electric toothbrush, the broken lock and Mavericks Dad.
  12. Not so. She typed her "statement" out with a head wand. Damn these new fangled inventions.
  13. One and the same -- but Stabadrop's "dossier" comment, has been in play since the day I joined. One thing the army does well, is to train you in spotting the knobber. :)

    Miner - a distinct lack of planning, is all I can say!
  14. Well you can usually spot the fcuker who is going to stitch you up. He/she is always licking the bosses arrse, is extremely nice to your face and tries to "help" you at every opportunity.

    When a new person joins the job they will immediately swoop to be their "helper" when the true intention is to find the new person's weak spots before the new person susses them out. They will also try to find out as much as possible about the newbie's previous jobs and personal life as soon as possible to be stored away for later. Then when said shark needs a fall guy he/she has plenty to choose from.

    That's the reason that I never tell people I work with anything about myself outside the job I am doing until I have got a feel for what they are like, and I avoid office parties like the plague as a few beers can loosen the tongue too much.