words from the wise

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by The_Remover, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. The_Remover

    The_Remover Old-Salt

    "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
    Lynn Lavner

    "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
    Camille Paglia

    "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

    Sharon Stone

    "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."

    Tiger Woods

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

    Jack Nicholson

    "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

    Rodney Dangerfield

    "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

    Robin Williams

    "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place"

    Billy Crystal

    "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."

    Robert De Niro

    "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

    Dustin Hoffman

    "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked !"

    Jerry Seinfeld

    "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain & a penis, & only enough blood to run one at a time."

    Robin Williams

    "It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."

    Joan Rivers

    "Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful & natural experiences money can buy."

    Steve Martin

    " You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life."

    Elmo Phillips

    " Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

    Oscar Wilde

    " It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."

    George Burns