Wood and Countdown, am I perverted?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Death_Rowums, Jul 17, 2006.

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  1. Whilst watching Countdown today and cursing myself as the best word I had thus far come up with was 'Rat', I realised I had a minor chubby tucked away in my pants. Nothing major mind you, no more than you'd get when sitting next to a shit encrusted tramp on the bus.

    Minor though it was, I am mildly concerned, in the same way that you'd be concerned if you got a woody when paying your last respects to your grandmother whilst she lays deceased in her casket. I don't know whether it's Carol, Des' moustache, the curves of the letter B, or indeed a combination of them all that has caused such a reaction in my tiny manhood.

    Has anyone else experienced a phenomena such as this? Not getting wood at an inappropriate time, but at something which is in no normal sense wood-inducing.

    I fear that my mild infatuation will turn into full-blown obsession. I now have to avoid WHSmiths in the high-street lest I should enter and begin fondling the calculators and gyrating my crotch against the dictionaries, whilst muttering "I'll have another consonant please Carol".
     
  2. I'm hoping it's JUST Carol V...............
     
  3. It's a perfectly normal obsession D_R. I like to gently thumb through the pages of my dictionary and lovingly stroke the spine then give it some rough treatment by slamming it shut. It loves it, the dirty little slut.
     
  4. "Wood and Countdown, am I perverted?"

    In short : Yes, seek professional help.
     
  5. Nowt as queer as folk. But I would give Carol V one. Oh yes.
     
  6. Dont e too hard on yourself. Its probably all the filthy letters on the show.

    I myself have een given a restraining order from the letter lowercase B. After ringing it up late at night and posting rude pictures of myself with B tatooed on my buttocks on the Sesame Street website.


    Do I win 5 pounds?