Woo Hoo 'She's' Available

#1
Let me be the first to have first 'dibs' at the 'Domestic Goddess' now that she's on the open market.

Or, am I so outa date with old news that there's a line longer than waiting inline at the MCG shitta's on Grand Final Day?

Saatchi divorcing TV chef Nigella Lawson

British art collector Charles Saatchi has told a British newspaper that he is divorcing his wife, celebrity chef Nigella Lawson, following an incident in which he grabbed her by the neck outside a London restaurant.Under the headline "I'm divorcing you Nigella", 70-year-old Saatchi said in a statement to the Mail on Sunday that he had made a "heartbreaking" decision to separate from his 53-year-old wife because she had not defended him over the row.
The publicity-shy former advertising executive, who owns London's Saatchi Gallery for contemporary art, accepted a police caution last month after pictures of the incident appeared in another tabloid, the Sunday People.

"I am sorry to announce that Nigella Lawson and I are getting divorced," he said in the statement which was splashed over the front page of the newspaper.
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"This is heartbreaking for both of us as our love was very deep, but in the last year we have become estranged and drifted apart," he wrote.
"I feel that I have clearly been a disappointment to Nigella during the last year or so, and I am disappointed that she was advised to make no public comment to explain that I abhor violence of any kind against women, and have never abused her physically in any way."
Saatchi insisted that his actions had not been "violent" and claimed that Lawson, to whom he has been married for 10 years, had grasped his neck in the past because they were both "tactile" people.
There was no immediate comment from Lawson.
The daughter of former Conservative finance minister Nigel Lawson, she is a multi-millionaire cookery writer and TV presenter.
Dubbed 'the domestic goddess', she is famed for her flirtatious approach to cooking.
She married Saatchi in 2003, and has two children from her marriage to journalist John Diamond, who died of throat cancer in 2001. Saatchi has one daughter from his previous marriage.
 
#4
I couldn't figure out what she saw in the multi-billionaire anyway. He looks like her dad. Odd.
 
#6
He got his shots in the press first. She'll get over it all though, with the help of a large deposit in her bank account from the settlement and a queue going around the block of men who want to make deposits of a different kind.
 
#7
The man is a cunt on such a cosmic scale that you sort of have to take your hat off to him for it. Throttling his missus at a restaurant and flicking her head back by the nose, he claims it was a game ('I was only choking' as it were), then says he was picking her bogies, then claims to be dumping her for not giving him a public free pass.

As for her, perhaps this is Karma for taking up with this utter shite whilst her husband, who really did worship the ground she walked on, was dying of cancer.
 
#8
Exactamundo! She looks like she could suckstart a 4 tonner and can knock up a half-decent egg banjo. Take into account the monster chebs and... what's not to like?
 
#9
Exactamundo! She looks like she could suckstart a 4 tonner and can knock up a half-decent egg banjo. Take into account the monster chebs and... what's not to like?
I find your logic difficult to counter.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#11
Exactamundo! She looks like she could suckstart a 4 tonner and can knock up a half-decent egg banjo. Take into account the monster chebs and... what's not to like?

Being 27,346th in the queue!
 
#15
She'd love a younger bloke, rampant, pervy, romantic, rough, gentle, pseudo intellectual, compassionate healthcare professional, suave, sophisticated, steely eyed war veteran with a big fleshy tongue and good with it. I totally fit the bill and could be just the bloke for the job.

You losers can dream the fuck on. She's mine! I even look like a front wheel!!

My God I can't wait to see her with a mouthful of my custard!!
 
#16
Custard? Birds or Tesco Value?
 
#17
She'd love a younger bloke, rampant, pervy, romantic, rough, gentle, pseudo intellectual, compassionate healthcare professional, suave, sophisticated, steely eyed war veteran with a big fleshy tongue and good with it. I totally fit the bill and could be just the bloke for the job.

You losers can dream the fuck on. She's mine! I even look like a front wheel!!

My God I can't wait to see her with a mouthful of my custard!!
Sorry lads, you only get to see her flaps if you're Jewish...
 

seaweed

LE
Book Reviewer
#18
I would say that the lady is up for grabs, except that she appears not to like that.
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#20
She'd love a younger bloke, rampant, pervy, romantic, rough, gentle, pseudo intellectual, compassionate healthcare professional, suave, sophisticated, steely eyed war veteran with a big fleshy tongue and good with it. I totally fit the bill and could be just the bloke for the job.

You losers can dream the fuck on. She's mine! I even look like a front wheel!!

My God I can't wait to see her with a mouthful of my custard!!
You clearly had a refreshing night's sleep! Can't begrudge a man his optimism, you can have my go on her as well.
 

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