Woo Hoo 'She's' Available

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by beagleboy, Jul 7, 2013.

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  1. Let me be the first to have first 'dibs' at the 'Domestic Goddess' now that she's on the open market.

    Or, am I so outa date with old news that there's a line longer than waiting inline at the MCG shitta's on Grand Final Day?

    Saatchi divorcing TV chef Nigella Lawson

  2. I see. So it's all her fault then?
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  3. Wanker!! I thought you meant Kim Wilde for a second!
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  4. I couldn't figure out what she saw in the multi-billionaire anyway. He looks like her dad. Odd.
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  5. Well, I reckon she won't be short of suitors.
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  6. He got his shots in the press first. She'll get over it all though, with the help of a large deposit in her bank account from the settlement and a queue going around the block of men who want to make deposits of a different kind.
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  7. The man is a cunt on such a cosmic scale that you sort of have to take your hat off to him for it. Throttling his missus at a restaurant and flicking her head back by the nose, he claims it was a game ('I was only choking' as it were), then says he was picking her bogies, then claims to be dumping her for not giving him a public free pass.

    As for her, perhaps this is Karma for taking up with this utter shite whilst her husband, who really did worship the ground she walked on, was dying of cancer.
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  8. Exactamundo! She looks like she could suckstart a 4 tonner and can knock up a half-decent egg banjo. Take into account the monster chebs and... what's not to like?
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  9. I find your logic difficult to counter.
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  10. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Being 27,346th in the queue!
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  11. But can she cook?
  12. Not with a barge pole.
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  13. Her recipes are shite but who cares?
  14. She'd love a younger bloke, rampant, pervy, romantic, rough, gentle, pseudo intellectual, compassionate healthcare professional, suave, sophisticated, steely eyed war veteran with a big fleshy tongue and good with it. I totally fit the bill and could be just the bloke for the job.

    You losers can dream the fuck on. She's mine! I even look like a front wheel!!

    My God I can't wait to see her with a mouthful of my custard!!
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