Wonderful English from Around the World

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by maccabonga, Mar 19, 2012.

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  1. In a Bangkok Temple :
    IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

    Cocktail lounge , Norway :
    LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

    Doctor's office, Rome :
    SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

    Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
    DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

    In a Nairobi restaurant:
    CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

    On the main road to Mombasa , leaving Nairobi :
    TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

    On a poster at Kencom:
    ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

    In a City restaurant:
    OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

    In a Cemetery:
    PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .

    Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
    GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

    On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
    OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

    In a Tokyo Bar:
    SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

    Hotel , Yugoslavia :
    THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

    Hotel , Japan :
    YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

    In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
    YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.

    A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest :
    IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

    Hotel, Zurich :
    BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

    Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
    WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

    Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
    WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. (Just Like British Airways!)

    A Laundry in Rome :
    LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

    And finally the all time classic:
    Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window:
    IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED, PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…
     
    • Like Like x 8
  2. So its a week in Rome then a week in Japan for this years hols then!!!!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. As Indian friend of mine had sent me this a while ago.

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    Supposed to be chilled beer, perhaps?
     
  4. Couldn't be more appropriate.

    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Followed by a dozen trips to Abu Dhabi.
     
  6. India should get a mention on the list. I've seen some classics, especially on menus. One that sticks in my mind was in the Andaman Islands with a cafe advertising their famous Club Sand Witch. I offered the boss Rp 500 for half an hour!
     
  7. Copy of IMG_0474.JPG

    A personal favourite of mine from the grounds of Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial Hall. Who the Hell takes their cat for a walk on a leash?
     
  8. Apparently lot's of people do/ did.....:)

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

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    [​IMG]

    ^ But this last "guy," in NYC....seriously? C'mon!