Womens troubles

#1
A woman goes to the doctors. 'I'm worried doctor. Every time I take of my knickers, my fanny sings "Is this the way to Amarillo!"

The doctor replies 'Don't worry love, every cnut is singing that these days!!'
 
#2
here's a story (true, I might add) about a girl that used to be in my regt. She was not really known for her cleanliness....anyway.....the coy were away on camp and this girl approached a particular Sgt, let's call him Sgt X, explaining that it was 'ladie's week' and had he got anything she could use for a 'plug' or 'soaking up system' (Ladies, you know what I mean here). Sgt X said he hadn't and that she should go and ask the other girls if they could help her out. None of them could, so the minger returned to Sgt X and explained the situation again. This time, he took a FFD, tore off the bandages and handed her the pad and said 'Here, use this'.
4 days later, the same minger again approached Sgt X and said.....and I sh1t you not........ 'Have you got another one of those pad things, this one's full!'
 

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