Womens Magazines

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#1
Stuck on duty with nothing to read but womens magazines and came across this little gem. The bits in italics are my comments.

MAN FACTS

1. Only 6% of men think muscles are the best part of their body.

That means the othe 94% arn't gay.

2. 1/3 of men have never had a romantic breakfast with their girlfriend.

So a blow job from the Mrs doesn't count when I am eating my bacon sarnie? Don't think so.

3. 18% of men go on a diet because of a new partner.

Were back to the gay thing again arn't we.

4. The thing men are most likely to wish for is a lottery win.

Well Duh....It's the only thing living with the Mrs that would make it bearable

5. 74% of men look for love in the supermarket.

Nope, we find it after leaving the supermarket, love is just a reaction to a bottle of vodka.

6. 96% of men wouldn't send flowers to their partners work.

To be honest I wouldn't send a text to my partner while she was at work

7. 41% of men expect a promotion this year.

More realistic than an off the cuff blow job when I get home from work.

8. 70% of men have watched porn online.

70%? The other 30% must be visually handicapped then.

9. 27% of men would sleep with someone repulsive for £ 1m.

73% would sleep with someone repulsive for a couple of pints.

10. 25 is the ideal age to marry.

Who ever said there was an ideal age.

11. 61% of men don't mind sharing their food.

That's what we call a doggy bag.

12. 40% of men prefer a call from their girl, than a call from their mate.

Why would my mate call me? He's sat next to me in the bar.

13. Men think a loose bun is the best hairstyle for a first date.

Couldn't give a fuck what hairstyle you have got, I'll only me looking at it from above.

Men voted Blake Lively the most desirable female celebrity.

After a few pints Susan Boyle would be in for a shout.

That's my thoughts, anymore?
 
#2
[/QUOTE]
6. 96% of men wouldn't send flowers to their partners work.

To be honest I wouldn't send a text to my partner while she was at work


Men voted Blake Lively the most desirable female celebrity.

[/QUOTE]

Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't text my mrs and who the fuck is Blake lively????

Those magazines are the source of all my wifes problems with weight, hair, etc and should be banned. On the plus side it's possibly the only reading material with semi naked birds in it that is acceptable for me to read without an ear bashing from her.

TBM
 
#11
What's the difference between Cosmopolitan and Women's Realm?

Cosmopolitan tells a woman how to fake an orgasm, Women's Realm tells her how to knit one.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#12
What's the difference between Cosmopolitan and Women's Realm?

Cosmopolitan tells a woman how to fake an orgasm, Women's Realm tells her how to knit one.
What's an orgasm?
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#15
Fixed that for you!

Orgasm (from Greek orgasmos, from organ to mature, swell, also sexual climax) is the peak of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle, characterized by an intense of pleasure. ...
Yea got that, but what has that got to do with a woman?
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#18
Just seen those pictures of Blake and now my boxers are sticky. Is that an orgasm?
 
#19
She's good I admit, but the most desireable? I am far from convinced.

What does she do anyway?
 
#20
Fixed that for you!

Orgasm (from Greek orgasmos, from organ to mature, swell, also sexual climax) is the peak of the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle, characterized by an intense of pleasure. ...


Orgasm, the tickely bit or vinegar stroke....


Aye its Magic
 

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