Womens annoying habits-BLOKES ONLY.

Having sat in chat, and talking to some fellow arrsers it has came to light that everything is not as it seems.

The topic of conversation turned to what women do that bugs the hell out of you.

Stuff like

Why do they have so many pairs of shoes, when they only have 2 feet?

Why do they drag you around town for hours at a time just to return to the first shop and buy the orginal dress?

Why do they always think there fashion sense is better than your own?

I even knew a woman once who brought a car because and i quote ' The colour matchs My Jacket' even though the car cost her loads of cash to keep it running!

So Guys what is about women that bug the hell out of you??

Women of arrse i am not asking for you to justify yourselves, so i would kindly prefer no bitching on this thread, as it might enlighten your tiny minds as to what you are doing wrong and driving us nuts!!

If you want to have a go at us blokes do so by all means but do it in your own thread!!


War Hero
1. She asks you a question, you tell her the answer, she flies off the handle. What's that all about?

2. She has a three week sad on with you, but you've no idea why or what you've done, and she won't tell you. Apparently you are supposed to 'think about it and work it out'. (So you think about it, and walk.)

I think those two are the worst offenders.
Another one,

Carrying on an argument once she/you has left the room

Starts of as something simple , which she blows out of all proportion, then drags stuff in from a minor offence you done 5 years earlier.

you think the argument has finished and leave the room, then they decide to carry it on, and accuse you of not listening when they are speaking to you and your 4 rooms away
Watching weepy movies or listening to cancer sufferers get interviewed so they can be miserable FFS.
Sabre said:
Why do they have so many pairs of shoes, when they only have 2 feet?


just for the record, i went out for a while who had a knack of "knowing which shoes matched which bag" and turned out to bat for the other side!

its a girl thing, you'll never understand it, we barely do ourselves! i think its genetic :wink:

opening their mouths (to speak.)
Having worked in M&S for years I get to see the worst in them on a daily basis. In no particular order;

1. Can't buy food and wait to get home before starting to demolish it. (They open a bag of crisps in the shopping bag to facilitate walking/eating).

2. Stupid drooling mong smile as they surround a sandwich.

3. Pretending to examine the last dress at the door because they don't want to leave.

4. Asking the time even 'though they have a watch on.

5. Racing you to the foot of the escalator then taking all day to go up 'cos it's too much effort to walk.

6. Rain is made of Sulphuric Acid necessitating a taxi home.

7. "It's FREEZING in here!"

8. Inability to ask a question then wait for an answer but feel the need to suggest all known alternatives then walk off before you've finished answering.

9. Just HAVE to examine whatever item a male is standing in front of to make them move.

10. Don't look where they are going even 'though they have zero spacial coordination.

11. Ignore tired screaming toddler so they can examine essentials like costume jewellery at 2100hrs.

12. All conversations with pals must be at 108 decibels so everyone else can hear.

13. Will go out of their way to walk into you and say "sorry" in a totally empty shop.

14. If there are a group of them then each one asks a bit of the question, known as Shared Brain Syndrome btw.

15. Suck the face off partner when halfway up an escalator. (Look at me I have a boyfriend).

16. Wearing daft high heels, texting and listening to iPod then wondering why they got mugged.

17. Stand in a queue for 5mins to buy a packet of chewing gum.

18. Shout at security man that they are "not stupid" even 'though they think they are in the shop next door.

19. Ask what time the shop closes while you are restraining someone with a knife. (Honest!)

20 Unable to tell the difference between Navy Blue and Black even 'though they can see more colours than men.

21 Stopping to look at stuff without telling male partner/children leading to "I've lost my husband/children".

22 Old ladies turning up at lost property looking for their walking sticks...think about it.

23 Shouting "Mum".

24 Looking round when someone totally unrelated to them shouts "Mum".

25 Reading out signs to male partner and telling him which shop they are in.



I hate the way they complain when I leave skid marks in the toilet. Where the f*ck do you want me to leave them?
Biscuits_AB said:
I hate the way they complain when I leave skid marks in the toilet. Where the f*ck do you want me to leave them?
In the bloody sink ;-)

1. Asking a question to which they already know the answer.

2. Asking a question and not listening to the answer.

3. Not asking a question but expecting you to answer it.

4. Talking. They do it way too much, and see it as a sign of emotional maturity, which makes them feel superior to blokes, who, because they don't talk even half as much as women do, are see as emotionally retarded. When in fact we all know the opposite is true.

5. Coming in from work. They park the car, slam the door, rattle their keys in the front door, slam that, put down their bag and take off their coat, with all the accompanying noises. They then come and find you, look at you for a minute, and say "Well, I'm home." The inverse is true whenever they get home before you do, except they say "Well, you're home."

6. Arguments. They are incapable of looking at something objectively, or from your point of view. Whatever you say, they are just going to spout the same few sentences at you until you give up, interspersed with insults.

7. FAO Women. Men's balls are pink and hairy - not fcuking crystal. We're not psysic, so why do you expect us to know instinctively when you're pissed off? Even though it'll probably be about something either a) Utterly stupid or b)over which we have no control anyway.
have you noticed that there is a part of their brain that catalogues all male mistakes made in that relationship and they can have perfect recall of all these errors/mistakes and will cast them in your face during arguements, even if the mistake has no relavance at all to that arguement :roll:

And they ask you,"Do I look fat in this?" to which you reply,"Of course not!" and then they accuse you of lying :roll:

I now tell whoever I am seeing,"Yip, your fat get on a diet!" :twisted:
Refusing to come to the table, where the food is going cold, until the dishwasher is stacked and all available horizontal surfaces wiped

Overfilling the dishwasher because leaving three dirty plates and a pan out until morning is unthinkable

Cleaning the whole house from top to bottom 'so that it will be clean when we come back' - ignoring the inevitable three week accumulation of dust

Cruelty to rechargeable batteries in mobile phone, PDA and camera

Allergy to all IT, including, would you believe, total inability to get money out of an ATM until three months ago

Planting up huge number of huge pots on terrace while vast, neglected garden borders grow to resemble Matto Grosso or Congo Basin

Believing all available tosh about vitamins, diet, homeopathy, aromatherapy and such like in preference to medicine that works and going into mega sulk when diagnosed as having high blood pressure and having to take proper medicine prescribed by proper doctor rather than pond water brewed by charlatan

That'll do for now.
The 'we can do anything a bloke can do syndrome' when they find something they can't do as well, they complain that you are delibrately making it harder for them so they will fail at the Job/Course/Selection etc

Tells her friends all about your sexual prowess or lack of etc and expects you to be cool about it, but gets bloody furious or violent when you tell her you were going to do the same with your mates :)

List is endless

Slightly different slant - things you might wish they would say:

Could our relationship be more Physical? I'm tired of just being friends.
Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way.
I think hairy butts are really sexy.
Hey, get a whiff of that one.
Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.
This diamond is way too big.
I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
Wow, it really is 14 inches!
Does this make my butt look too small?
I'm wrong, you must be right again.


Moving the furniture every 4 weeks.

Buying anything I even look at in a clothes shop.

Making lists of stuff to buy from the NEXT catologue, then buying it!

Buying enough candels to incant the Devil.


Random_Task said:
Trying to act like a bloke!
Telling lies to reporters about wartime exploits.

Spending all day on the 'telephone line', claiming to have proved that wimmin are just as effective as blokes on the 'front line', when they should be more concerned with the 'washing line'' and their 'waist line'.

Similar threads

Latest Threads