Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by CptDanjou, Jun 6, 2012.

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  1. Two women talking after death

    1st woman : Hi! My name is Tracy.

    2nd woman : Hi! I'm Sharon. How'd you die?

    1st woman : I Froze to Death.

    2nd woman : How Horrible!

    1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
    began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about

    2nd woman : I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
    husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But
    instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

    1st woman: So, what happened?

    2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and
    searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere,
    and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

    1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still
    be alive!


    One day a housewife is alone at home and the doorbell rings.

    She opens it to a friend of her husband who says, "Hi, is Tony home?"

    The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."

    So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred quid just to see one."

    Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred quid! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred quid on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 pounds if I could just see the both of them together."

    Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.

    A while later Tony arrives back home from the shops. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."

    Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 quid he owes me?"