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Women Who Go "Aaah"

#1
Not the "aah" whilst you're fingering them, or f8cking them, or assaulting them...........

Why do females over-sympathise with pathetic false "aaahing". I went to the offy last night to buy cigarettees and alcohol, and in front of me was a woman with small child, who'd spent all day at school...woman behind the counter went "aaah", and then "aah-ed" about fifteen times as the other cretin banged on about how she'd lost 2 quid...

It was for some sweets for the kids...

"Aaaah"

It was a new one as well...

"Aaaah"

I did not get an "Aaah" when I asked for "Some fu8king cigarettes please, I'm in a hurry".

I got a rather frosty look.

Cnuts, why do they do it? Is it to wind up working people who haven't got time to spout shite at check-outs/tills (and have to do it on the Internet... :x )

And then they pay by card or cheque....

Aforesaid female DID go "AAARRGH" when I rammed a one litre bottle of cheap vodka up her flue, and then jumped up and down on her pelvis till it smashed up her uterus.........

Job Done.
 
#2
And why is it women never get their fcuking purse out until the cashier tells them the amount, do they not expect to actually pay at the fcuking checkout.
 
#3
Ord_Sgt said:
And why is it women never get their fcuking purse out until the cashier tells them the amount, do they not expect to actually pay at the fcuking checkout.
It's the same on the London Underground, they wait til they get to the barrier then spend half an hour rooting through the Tardis they call a handbag.
 

elovabloke

ADC
Moderator
#4
Ord_Sgt said:
And why is it women never get their fcuking purse out until the cashier tells them the amount, do they not expect to actually pay at the fcuking checkout.
An count out every last bit of small change only to find that they have not got enough and use a card.

Men go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and mean it.
 
#6
However, if you are a woman, and you do not coo and "aaaaaaaw" and make much admiration over people's grubby little bratlings as they paw at your trousers with sticky hands, or stare vacantly at you with a snot-bubble in one nostril, then you are immediately branded a soulless, genderless freak with a heart (and womb) of stone.

I fcuking hate kids.
 
#7
elovabloke said:
Ord_Sgt said:
And why is it women never get their fcuking purse out until the cashier tells them the amount, do they not expect to actually pay at the fcuking checkout.
An count out every last bit of small change only to find that they have not got enough and use a card.

Men go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and mean it.

Or pull out a wedge of coupons that were meticulously cut out from assorted magazines / newspapers / packaging which in turn are meticulously checked by the cashier to ensure that the offer is still in date.
Despite being at a cash only checkout !
If women are so good at multi tasking, why can't they figure out the total amount of exspenditure whilst browsing around the aisles, 'umming & ahhing' and then have their money ready as they get to the checkout ?
 
#9
TankiesYank said:
However, if you are a woman, and you do not coo and "aaaaaaaw" and make much admiration over people's grubby little bratlings as they paw at your trousers with sticky hands, or stare vacantly at you with a snot-bubble in one nostril, then you are immediately branded a soulless, genderless freak with a heart (and womb) of stone.

I fcuking hate kids.
Just pinch the little darling really hard when no-one is looking then walk off leaving the parents to deal with the screaming brat.
 
#10
TankiesYank said:
However, if you are a woman, and you do not coo and "aaaaaaaw" and make much admiration over people's grubby little bratlings as they paw at your trousers with sticky hands, or stare vacantly at you with a snot-bubble in one nostril, then you are immediately branded a soulless, genderless freak with a heart (and womb) of stone.

I fcuking hate kids.
Thanks f uck for that!! God bless you TankiesYank! I thought I was the only one!

Even though I'm a roughty-toughty bloke I'm still expected to 'Oooo' and 'arrrhhh' when ever I encounter a squealing, shrieking, howling, vomiting, rampaging "miracle of life" which some underage, single-parent chav mum has just squirted out. And if you don't find these foul little vermin as endlessly fascinating as there brain-dead parents you are considered worse than Hitler!! :x
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
I guess it was too much to expect to get a 'waaah' out of that one then!

She mostly goes 'mfmfmfmmfm' when she's not going 'ow, ooph, blub'
 
#16
Blokes:
1. Get out of car
2. Put in petrol
3. Go inside
4. Grab pastie/chocky/gum on the move as you go
5. Pay (with cash or card in your hand) ordering fags as required.
6. Go back to car and pull away putting belt on as you go so the next guy can get in quick

or

Use pay at pump

Women:

NEVER or at least not when I'm behind use pay at pump. (Mrs DW uses it bless her but then why would I be behind her in the petrol queue)

1. Get out
2. Fukaround locking car
3. Unlock car to open filler flap
4. Lock car
5. Mess around getting cap off
6. Stare at pump for ages
7. Fill up
8. Dance around so last drop doesn't hit shoes
9. Mess with cap and flap
10. Unlock car
11. Rummage for handbag
12. Lock car
13. Come back to car to repeat 10 11 12 as required
14. Spend ages shopping
15. Get to till and rumage in handbag
16. return to car and rumage in handbag for keys
17. Drop keys
18. Get into car
19. Check self in mirror
20. Put on seatbelt (note this takes a bloke 3 seconds but takes a bird 2 minutes
21. Try to pull away with handbrake on
22. Finally get out of the fukcing way
 
#17
Archangel said:
TankiesYank said:
However, if you are a woman, and you do not coo and "aaaaaaaw" and make much admiration over people's grubby little bratlings as they paw at your trousers with sticky hands, or stare vacantly at you with a snot-bubble in one nostril, then you are immediately branded a soulless, genderless freak with a heart (and womb) of stone.

I fcuking hate kids.
Thanks f uck for that!! God bless you TankiesYank! I thought I was the only one!

Even though I'm a roughty-toughty bloke I'm still expected to 'Oooo' and 'arrrhhh' when ever I encounter a squealing, shrieking, howling, vomiting, rampaging "miracle of life" which some underage, single-parent chav mum has just squirted out. And if you don't find these foul little vermin as endlessly fascinating as there brain-dead parents you are considered worse than Hitler!! :x
i'm right up there with both of you!!! :D me and kids do not get along its the lack of patience i have with them!!

editied because i was being a mong and trying to work and type at the same time - and yes normally i can multi taks :oops:
 
#18
devexwarrior said:
1. Get out
2. Fukaround locking car
3. Unlock car to open filler flap
4. Lock car
5. Mess around getting cap off
6. Stare at pump for ages
7. Fill up
8. Dance around so last drop doesn't hit shoes
9. Mess with cap and flap
10. Unlock car
11. Rummage for handbag
12. Lock car
13. Come back to car to repeat 10 11 12 as required
14. Spend ages shopping
15. Get to till and rumage in handbag
16. return to car and rumage in handbag for keys
17. Drop keys
18. Get into car
19. Check self in mirror
20. Put on seatbelt (note this takes a bloke 3 seconds but takes a bird 2 minutes
21. Try to pull away with handbrake on
22. Finally get out of the fukcing way
Need to add (in no particular order or position):
X. Spend several minutes chatting to the person you just met at the counter about how you really like jade goodie.
X. Spend several mintutes chatting to the woman behind the counter about how your auntie had a perm once and it didnt go well and she looked like a poolde but its ok because uncle derek still loved her and took her away for a weekend to make her feel better, but then it rained soherhairwentallfrizzyandworsesoheboughtherafuckingpuppytoshutherthehellup.....
and so on...

I was actually in a hurry in a petrol station when some chav bint in front of me in the queue couldnt pay, and then went into her whole life story, as if being a stinking chav whore isnt enough of an excuse for not having any money!
 
#19
I refer you to Bill Hicks on the "Miracle of Life" syndrome.An additional irritant is the suffix "Bless" to the "Ahhhh".Why? Even my OH has succumbed to it.
 
#20
Let's not forget the cashpoint shall we?

BLOKES

1. Put in card

2. Enter PIN

3. Select Amount

4. Grab Card and cash fcuk off (30 secs)

WOMEN

1. Look at machine, look at card slot, survey area all round ATM

2. Look for purse in handbag

3. Find purse look for cashcard

4. Look in handbag for diary

5. Look in diary front cover for PIN

6. Enter PIN wrong, take card out, check card replace.

7. Look in handbag for diary

8. Look in diary back cover for pin

9. Enter PIN

10. Ask for printed balance.

11. Read printed balance

12. Press return card key.

13. Tut because they meant to press use another service key.

14. Reinsert card repeat steps 7-9

15. Read every option before pressing cash plus printed balance.

16. Count money 3 times

17. Read printed slip to make sure it is correct.

18. Look for purse in handbag.

19. Put cash plus slip in purse

20. Press return card.

21. Look for purse in handbag.

22. Put card in purse.

23. Closely look at machine, slot and survey surrounding area.

24. Repeat procedure for another 2-3 cards.

25. Start to walk a pace, return for quick check, finally go. (5-10 mins)
 

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