Women Vs Aircraft

[easesprings]

Why Aircraft Are Better than Women
>
> An aircraft will kill you quick . . . a woman takes her time.
> Aircraft like to do it inverted.
> Aircraft can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
> An aircraft does not get mad if you 'touch and go.'
> An aircraft does not object to a pre-flight inspection.
> Aircraft come with manuals.
> Aircraft have strict weight and balance limits.
> You can fly an aircraft any time of the month.
> You can have a good time with an aircraft without buying it dinner first.
> The morning after a pub night, an aircraft looks just as good as it did
> before.
> Aircraft don't have parents.
> Aircraft don't whine unless something is really wrong.
> Aircraft don't whine if you want to do something else.
> When you take them out, aircraft don't care if you're shirt hasn't been
> ironed.
> Aircraft don't care about how many other aircraft you have flown.
> When flying, you and your aircraft both arrive at the same time.
> Aircraft don't mind if you look at other aircraft or if you buy aircraft
> magazines.
> If your aircraft is too loose, you can tighten it.
> It's always OK to use tie downs on your aircraft.
> With aircraft, you always know where your money went.


It cheered me up if knowone else

 

[Escape-from-PPRuNe]

I'd have thought an aircraft was the only thing that could spend money quicker than a woman?

 

[Topper]

I'd have thought an aircraft was the only thing that could spend money quicker than a woman?

You've clearly not met my ex-wife!

 

[Topper]

I'd have thought an aircraft was the only thing that could spend money quicker than a woman?

You've clearly not met my ex-wife!

 

[error_unknown]

I'd put my money on the woman in a one to one contest.

 

[Ozgerbobble]

What do a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?

They both have black boxes



parrrrump chink

 

[easesprings]

What do a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?

They both have black boxes



parrrrump chink

You git my computer is now wearing Earl Grey Tea

 

[MightyGem]

Aircraft don't whine unless something is really wrong.

Unless it's a gazelle!

 

[trickywoo56]

Yep - when I was in Sith Ifrica we called in AIDS - Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome.

TW
EGKK

 

[Mighty_doh_nut]

Chaps, whilst your passion for aeroplanes is understandable, would you agree with the following.

1. An aeroplane isn't going to sink to its knees and drain your pods.
2. An aeroplane isn't going to make your tea and do your washing.
3. An aeroplane no matter how sexy isn't going to throw on a pair of heels and stockings on and look naughtily round your bedroom door at you before riding you senseless
4. An aeroplane isn't going to steer you to the bathroom when lagered up and in danger of lagging and vommiting
5. Girls aloud wouldn't look half as horny if they were a bunch of singing Hawker Hunters

 

[Muttley]

5. Girls aloud wouldn't look half as horny if they were a bunch of singing Hawker Hunters

But they would sound a lot better MDN!

 

[spank_the_monkey]

5. Girls aloud wouldn't look half as horny if they were a bunch of singing Hawker Hunters

Don't be too sure about that - it would be a distinct improvement to the ginger one...

 

[TheLordFlasheart]

pompeyboys wrote:

Why choose one or the other? Have both

Given the choice between you, pompey and an aeroplane. I would rather be strapped to a Mozambique DC3 pig carrier. Fecking troll.

 

[Sam_Fisher]

Oi Pompey,

Whos the bird on your card? Very fetching.

 

[eustonscot]

But then again you can get inside them both and take them to heaven and back. Woof woof etc.

 

[error_unknown]

Deleted due to inane dullness, and a need for constant attention.

Everything you post in here will be altered or deleted.

PG

 

[RTFQ]

Some similarities:

The best ones in a fight, and the best rides are inherently unstable.
When they start leaking red fluid, they're useless to man and beast.
If you want to slow one down, pull on its flaps.
You spend years and loads of money trying to get one to keep, but when you do you realise they're a bit sh1t and your neighbour's one is better.
The big slow ones have generally have had loads of paras inside them.
The cute little sleek ones have only had one arrogant tw@t inside them, but he fcuked them up good and proper and they don't go anymore.

 

[Topper]

The big slow ones have generally had loads of paras inside them.

Classic!

 

[TheLordFlasheart]

Owning and running an aircraft is alot cheaper than running a female.

 

[RTFQ]

At the end of a six monther, you'd sell your mates just to get in one, whilst in country it looks like the most beautiful thing in the world, once you've used it and you're back in blighty it looks like a ropey old heap that needs an upgrade.