women pass SAS selection and go on to terrorise

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by sirbhp, Nov 7, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. sirbhp

    sirbhp LE Book Reviewer

    I am sure that all my my Dr's receptionist have gone through SAS training . They manage to do do almost anything to get out of give me an appointment with the doctor of my choice somewhere near the time of my choice . " is it urgent " very " (well i do have man flu .)
    The only appointment i can make is three days hence , ok book me in . No you have to call on the day .

    At 08.00 on the dot I call, "no appointments for today all booked up I am afraid. " Whys that then its only 08.02 , " well it's all the people who have pre booked taken up the clinic for the day ...Ok book me in for tomorrow I should be able to last that long . No we don't take pre bookings ... and so it goes on .

    Went for a flu jab , being under 65 i got the third degree from the receptionist as to what's wrong wrong with me that i am entitled to free jabs . " check my records dear you will see that i have been getting them for the past 8 years . " we cant do that as we are not qualified to look at your personal medical records, it s for your own personal confidentiality you know . , so what's wrong with you then ? " I would like to tell you but i don't think that you are qualified to understand all the doctor type words I might have to use , plus now we have started this conversation everyone in the surgery is listening to us to find out what's wrong with me , privacy shattered. "

    mind you i have only lived in the village for 10 years so they still think that I am one of that there London people.
    • Like Like x 4
  2. Next time you're in there try sneezing over them...
    • Like Like x 1
  3. I have the same problem. The receptionists are not there to facilitate a meeting between me and a doctor but to prevent it happening. Ring at 8am (on the 0844 number) and take your place in the queue for the rest of the day.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. My wife's Dr. is like that, there's a 'manager' with a dog's-arse mouth who will go to any lengths of rudeness and dishonesty to block her getting in. Though there's also a receptionist with dyed hair and a lovely slutty grin and wriggle who is more obliging, only on the appointments so far I'm afraid.

    I go in person to book the appointments because (a) their phone system is shit and (b) I am working on the receptionist.

    My own docs on the other hand couldn't be more helpful if they tried, and if it's a recurring problem or something I know what I'm on about, the Doc phones back and leaves a prescription on the desk. I'll suggest my wife transfers as soon as I'm making good progress with the receptionist at the other place.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Once I'd managed to get past the harridan on the desk at my GP when I registered shortly after demob, I discovered that my GP was born and raised in XMG.

    Still, it broke the ice...
  6. Well I have to say we have exactly the opposite situation with our GP Surgery . Mrs B_R has some complex medical problems which often require quick appointments ... never been disappointed with the receptionists who have gone out of their way to help . What is with this 0844 Tel No ? ... we ring our GP on a normal landline number .

    Perhaps it helps that we have lived in the same small village and been with the same GP Practice for a 30+ years .
  7. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    "Good morning Mr Cloudbuster, tickly cough was it ? I'll check your prostate first, now where did I put my bridle gauntlet ?"
  8. It turned out to be quite amicable, and I've never had to pay for Brufen since.
  9. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Ah, the old "I had you in my sights Doctor but decided to spare you" line always works.
  10. More along the lines of "If you don't want your mum to have a chimney fire this winter...."
  11. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    ...stuff your children up it ?
  12. ...I know a couple of blokes who just love doing slow approaches over the GAA pitch...
  13. If it's like my DR's surgery, Eastern Europeans and their large broods have priority. You have the wrong nationality to be treated by the NHS.
  14. Well our Drs are ace compared to the above, but they haven't always been like that due the famously hateful harradian receptionist that worked there for about a thousand years.

    Eventually they bulleted her because one GP in particular got fed up of people winding him up about it when he was trying to enjoy him self getting pissed in the rugby club. The 1st XV even used her name as a defensive call.

    She specialised in asking you what was wrong with everyone in the reception/waiting area listening.

    I don't go there often but first time I told her I was three months pregnant and the second time said 'I'm not sure' and went to undo my flies as if to show her. Stupid cow.

    Now they have something like 50% on the day, 25% over the next three days and 25% up to six weeks in advance.

    Plus if there's no drama involved they'll give you a ring instead.

    Couldn't be simpler.
    • Like Like x 1