Women, how do you work??

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by ArmySurplusSpecial, Sep 6, 2005.

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  1. After meeting a woman on a night out, saucy old bird you know the type we arranged to go out for a bit to eat last friday.

    prior to this we have chats and conversation on the phone and by text and i made my position clear, that after getting out of a relationship recently i was enjoying single life and did not want a relationship and was just hapy to go out for the meal and enjoy the night.

    "oh yes thats fine, im glad your honest and im cool with that" came the reply.

    sorted i thought.

    meal was had, good night, good conversation, ludicrously low cut top showing off 3 grands worth of glorious breasts. "shall we go back to yours?" she asked

    i made my point again about my position and said i was happy with that as long as she was. "yes thats fine" she replys

    back to mine, one thing leads to another and a bit of slap and tickle ensues and we both seem pleased with the arrangement. well she must have been as was woken at 2am, 4am and 9am with more of the same.

    now, just 4 days later, and after texts here and there and chats online and a possible meet up this week arranged the tables have turned. she was prompting for a relationship and something more. "where do we stand" was the exact question.

    after reiterating my position and explaining i was honest from the start i get a flurry of abuse and am told "im the same as all the rest" only out for a s**g"

    i am indeed a complete"w**ker" apparently and now am recieving full bunny boiler action!!

    what the hell is going on? do any other arrser's have any points on this? and the lady arrser's amongst u, tell me what i did wrong and how do the female species work in these situations?
  2. There are two schools of thought when it comes to understanding and dealing with women. Both of them are wrong.
  3. At least you got some action, surely the semi-abuse texts are worth it.

    I have to say she sounds like a dirty biatch, you were up front, nothing more to say her fault entirely. Well done you for getting one over or was that three?

    Ignore the daft bint, she will soon get bored and try her bunny boiler magic else where.
  4. ... If any lady (I shall not use the terms bird, lass, girl, bint etc...) says that she's OK with a sex-only-non-commitment-shag then she's lying. Desperate women are like desperate men, they will say anything and will agree to anything to trap you. I don't personally think you're a wanker as you did warn her - although in the future - the next time you're wanting to dip your wick into a warm, wet clam-shell and have 'no-strings' then I suggest you choose either of the following

    a) A prostitute (or in the vernacular - a Ho).
    b) someone who's already in a relationship and wants to do the dirty on her poor unsuspecting (not good for the karma this one)
    c) Someone on holiday (and don't give them your address - make it clear the reason why you're not going to is the fact that you don't want to lead them on)
    d) A rich, single professional (- I know a load - they usually cannot be arrsed with a relationship themselves as they're too busy trying to be more macho then the blokes in board meetings etc)
    e) Women who like cats (used to independent creatures who don't give a toss)
    f) Women who are elder sister of lots of brothers
    g) French women (if you can stand the smell...)
    h) Someone so p*ssed they won't remember

    ... avoid

    p) Anyone crying in nightclubs
    q) Anyone recently divorced
    r) Anyone with kids
    s) Anyone who goes through dating agencies
    t) Anyone with a perm
    u) Anyone who orders wine in a pub
    v) Anyone with a toy dog
    w) Anyone who wears a T-shirt with a catchy, witty slogon across her t*ts
    x) Anyone who says she's after no-strings sex (obvious giveaway)
    z) Women who are the kid sister of lots of brothers

    ... happy hunting - sorry to hear that again my systers in wymynship have let the side down.

  5. yeah been there a few times, we all have i think. just wondered why when i was honest all along that i am suddenly the biggest arrse under the sun!!
  6. Apologise, get some nice Belgian chocckies, get to grips with £3k of fun bags, violate her till the sun comes up and repeat. Whats the problem?!!

  7. Come on then Shrew, photos and tel numbers!
  8. simple really for most women
    sex = relationship

    if you have sex with them , their emotional side kicks in and thinks one shag counts as a relationship,

    most teenage girls in Ibiza etc are really after a shag with no committment ............initially, in spite of it , they still think if a bloke shags them, it means he cares about them even for 2 weeks and gets upset if he chats up another girl, ..

    .can't win there mate
  9. Most women who say they only want a non-committal, great sex, r-r-r-r-relationship will be lying. They're hoping once you get them in the sack, you'll be so impressed you'll want to become their Prince Charming, marry them and become their meal ticket for life. There are some about who will be happy with it - married women and slappers basically. So ... next time, be honest again, but lie about one little thing - your phone number. Then you can't receive any abuse which will be forthcoming after 3 or 4 shags, when you haven't been to Elizabeth Duke for the eternity ring.
  10. So very true...
  11. you're best of just coshing them .. nailing them up the ARRSE and hurling them in a canal.

    women ... cant live with em

    cant kill em.
  12. Usually to be found in large numbers in the South East of England working as lawyers, doctors and higher management. Very often they're Oxbridge types who will not even acknowledge your existence in public. Be prepared to be ridden, blowed and humped senseless - but they will call you a cab and get p*ssed off if you try and call them. They call you... remember that. Look for ladies in the 30-35 age range in groups of 5-7 in bars like All Bar None,they'll be fashionably, but subtly dressed. The perfume will be exculsive and expensive and they will wear little jewellery. Walk up to one with a cheeky grin and tell her her shoes are cr@p and that they don't match her handbag.
  13. BINGO!!! Love it so true
  14. now that sounds more like it!! pity im in nottingham! but im sure they are about in force here too!

    next time ill try and keep my eyes off the bionic breasts and look at the warning signs more carefully!
  15. ... Another spotting tip is this

    These women are FULL of self confidence and so probably won't have had any breast augmentation (theirs are great - didn't you know and you're lucky to be even looking at them you filthy oik!). They will be waxed and coiffed to perfection with their makeup (if they wear any) very minimal. They will have great bodies as they have the time and the money to work out in expensive gyms (I know - I have a lot of friends like these that I've met in pilates...). If you want to chat one up - take the piss out of them, bring them down a peg or two - but play it like you think they're a great laugh and one of the blokes... Don't tell them they're sexy - they know they are. Don't tell them you fancy them - of course you do, and don't EVER ask them for their number. Be the one to finish the 'bar conversation' and don't offer them a drink until the next time you're talking... Sometimes it's better to wait til they offer YOU one. They're the ones in control and all that...

    Oh yeah - A lot of them like squaddies - (rough trade and all that), but don't come across as SAS any of that bullsh*t as that's just crass.

    ... hang on! - Why the FCUK am I helping you lot???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!