women and time

#1
Was going out last night for sort off family reunion and the women (my gf my sisters and my mam) all have no concept off time it normally doesn't bother me when in my own house because i know to her minutes are twice as long as the ones on my watchl. But last night 4 off them all saying we will be ready in ten minutes cue 30 minutes later still with make up and stuff.

The wait doesn't bother me its the obvious lie of 10 mins then taking 30 if they said 30 i would have gone to the pub 2 doors down for a beer or logged on here.

This is the one thing about women i have never been able to fatham.
 
#2
Time taken is in geometric proportion to the number of birds and the importance of the event.

And if that is the only one thing you haven't been able to fathom, you should be the richest man in the world ;)
 
#3
Years ago I went to pick up a gf at a specific time only for her not to be ready. I was OK with that. But 2 hours later she was still fannying around with makeup, which shoes and skirts to wear etc. I fcuked off and left.
 
#4
It isn't just women and it isn't all women. an ex of mine was punctual like we military folk are...she had good tits too.

TFB's family are all crap at keeping to any kind of schedule, apart from her mother who seems to working on a detailed plan to drink every last drop of gin, brandy and port in my booze cupboard - and is running slightly ahead of schedule. The first three years of my married life I used to climb the walls as ETD approached, or in cases when we were the home team, ETA. Eventually I got over it and can now carry out my relaxing exercises of drinking or logging on here! What I still cannot understand is TFB's brother's habit of coming out to where I live, going into the pub and buying half a dozen scoops at £3 a pop, before turning up late at my gaff where the booze is free...
 
#7
Cuddles said:
What I still cannot understand is TFB's brother's habit of coming out to where I live, going into the pub and buying half a dozen scoops at £3 a pop, before turning up late at my gaff where the booze is free...
Must be your company... ;)
 
#8
I must admit that the Memsahib, surprisingly since she's never been anywhere near the Army, always gets herself ready to be at any appointed place 5 minutes early.
Normally she can quaff her chosen poison (usually V&T or Pinot Grigio) at an impressive rate, however finish before her and be wanting to move to a different pub and she suddenly finds it impossible to swallow more than one mililitre at a time!
 
#9
I had in my distant past a gf who sipped slowly, stating at the top of her voice in the pub " I am unable to swallow fast" Unfortunately my attempt at intenal monologue was actually heard by many, new gf required after that
 
#10
I have daughter and wife who both work to women's time as opposed to real time, the sprogette was especially bad, when told that we will be going out at 20.00 so you have plenty of time (now 1600), lay around till 19.40 and started sprinting to cram an hour into 20 minutes. So I got round that by telling them that we have to leave 30 minutes before the real time that we need to go. Actually they rumbled that when I was looking relaxed and not shouting at all.

But what really gets me is how they hog the bathroom so sometimes I can't get in till after them and then they blame me for being late when it's taken me about 12 minutes and them half the bloody evening.
 
#11
Dwarf said:
But what really gets me is how they hog the bathroom so sometimes I can't get in till after them and then they blame me for being late when it's taken me about 12 minutes and them half the bloody evening.
I hear you there i get round this by keeping a solar shower in the shed.
 
#12
Good prior planning, that would work over here, and my small garden is a sun-trap.
But the women would find some way to stick a spoke in.
 
#13
Dwarf said:
I have daughter and wife who both work to women's time as opposed to real time, the sprogette was especially bad, when told that we will be going out at 20.00 so you have plenty of time (now 1600), lay around till 19.40 and started sprinting to cram an hour into 20 minutes. So I got round that by telling them that we have to leave 30 minutes before the real time that we need to go. Actually they rumbled that when I was looking relaxed and not shouting at all.

But what really gets me is how they hog the bathroom so sometimes I can't get in till after them and then they blame me for being late when it's taken me about 12 minutes and them half the bloody evening.
To my "larging":

Bloody funny! :mrgreen:



To my bolding:

Their logic is about as reliable as their sense of time/punctuality.
 
#14
msr said:
Cuddles said:
What I still cannot understand is TFB's brother's habit of coming out to where I live, going into the pub and buying half a dozen scoops at £3 a pop, before turning up late at my gaff where the booze is free...
Must be your company... ;)
Feck you very much for that! :x
 
#15
Dwarf said:
Good prior planning, that would work over here, and my small garden is a sun-trap.
But the women would find some way to stick a spoke in.
The couple off times ive used it ive just filled it straight from the hot tap in the kitchen
 
#16
Our Lass is the world champion at this!

Last mess dinner we attended she started getting her shit squared away
about 1700. We had to be in the mess for no later than 1900.

I had a hell of a day and got in at about 1820. Shower, shave, splash on the aftershave
and into adventurous drinking kit. Job done. All complete in 15 or so minutes.

Am still sat down stairs, beer in one hand and a fag in the other waiting at 1845. Only just made it
into the mess by 1900!!

Boils my piss it does.

Yesterday, I sent her who must be obeyed a text at work saying we should go for a couple of
quick drinks prior to our dinner. Good idea says she.

Picks her up at 1700 and am in the house for 1710. "don't fanny about love, it's only a few quick bevvies before tea". No drama she says. We got into the pub at ten to seven!!!!!!!!!! We were only there for forty minutes or so. I said to her on the way back, it took you twice as long to get changed etc than we spent in the boozer! I received a glare that could stop a grizzly bear in it's tracks!!

The thing that grips me shit is that she does not spend all the time getting ready/putting make up on.
it's spent fannying about.

Bloody wimmin.

It drives me mad because she knows i am anal about punctuality. I am sure she does it on purpose!!

Grrrrrr...............Rant over. Off to fridge for beer.




Cheers N_W.
 
#17
JoseyWales said:
Women do not wear watches - they run off the Jantar Mantar timepiece.
Big fat lie.

I've got one of these:


One of these:



A Seiko Kinetic with this shite strap that we tried to put my arrse watch strap on:



One of these:



and a watch with the marmite lover on:



I am never late either, so you are talking shite big man!
 
#19
JoseyWales said:
Well start putting it about then and train up the others !
Hehehehehehe!

START putting it about?

Before any of you lot start.
 

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