Woke up This morning......

#1
Instead of a throbbing erection, I found naught but a flaccid apology of a penis. I decided to cuddle in to the lucky woman sharing my bed and she denied my advances. This quite simply isn't allowed and I informed her of this. She proceeded to disrespect me further and rather than argue I meekly acquiesced and felt my lip wobble.

More importantly I didn't beat the snot out of her for doing so! Discombobulated by this turn of events I made my way to the bathroom and signally failed to have my shit squared away in 5 minutes flat, then I decided that I wanted to have muesli for breakfast, despite previously dismissing it as the work of the Devil.

This is my first day as civvie for 24 years. Please tell me they get better.
 
#2
So you will have the joy of Saturday morning shopping to look foreward too? Rangoon!
 
#4
I just hope you've got a shed, otherwise you're rooted. I don't have a shed, but I'm not married either, so it's a fair trade, I reckon.

No shed.

No prospect of one, either.
 
#6
The good news: You awoke this morning; many didn't.

The bad news: Rejection; if it's yout home, boot her out.

I'm afraid you will find - eventually - your rammer will morph into an acorn.

Sorry, but there you are.
 
#8
He's gone all quiet; should we fear the worst, or is he off buying the latest Bentley convertible and flirting with the secretary?
 
#10
buy urself a good waney lap shed, prep a good few flaggons of the finest home brew, stock up with a wide range of adult reading, affix sturdy padlock to door, drink, and indulge in flogging ones flacid manservent,
wake up from drunken deborchery affix pants, wipe off vomit and or white powdery residue, emerge from the kingdom of man a well and happy chap....................
 
#11
Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned sh*ds, he might be curled up in his in a foetal position, weeping bitterly...
 
#12
buy urself a good waney lap shed, prep a good few flaggons of the finest home brew, stock up with a wide range of adult reading, affix sturdy padlock to door, drink, and indulge in flogging ones flacid manservent,
wake up from drunken deborchery affix pants, wipe off vomit and or white powdery residue, emerge from the kingdom of man a well and happy chap....................
p.s the ta are still recruiting, come and join the men in sheds,,,,
 
#13
It's what you make of it. You should measure your current success by the strength of your morning erection, I woke in my childhood bedroom this morning after some big eats at mums with a frightening looking meaty staff, i was temporarily transported back to 1992 as I attempted to silenty wank it to conclusion on a creaky futon. All that was missing was a nirvana tape playing and a pair of my elder sisters tiny black knickers draped over my face after fishing them out of the dhobi basket after she'd staggered in from a night of sweaty dancing.
 
#14
It's what you make of it. You should measure your current success by the strength of your morning erection, I woke in my childhood bedroom this morning after some big eats at mums with a frightening looking meaty staff, i was temporarily transported back to 1992 as I attempted to silenty wank it to conclusion on a creaky futon. All that was missing was a nirvana tape playing and a pair of my elder sisters tiny black knickers draped over my face after fishing them out if the dhobi basket after she'd staggered in from a night of sweaty dancing.
piffel ! did father ask if you needed a hand with it ?
 
#16
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#18
is that all you can muster ? and i will not finish you off you dirty little boy..........................
iam going back to the shed with mary millington to stir the sediment,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
#19
I have just wombled in from around town. I now have no reason to look down upon the various vermin that were once lumped in to the great pile known as "Gopping Civvies".

Now I am one. Do I have to wear a burberry cap - and / or stink of BO and Fag smoke? Am I expected to reveal my pants du Jour above the waistband of some low slung monstrosities known as Jeans and must all my trainers have holes?

I am fortunate that the school has a charity drive on so I can give away my decent clobber before a round robin of the charity shop bargain rails.

I have plans for an indecent slide into alcoholism, and the shed will be used for this purpose, just as soon as I have got rid of all the unnecessary Military Gear in it.

Still no sign of an Erection.
 
#20
whats up,you missing having someone to shout at? a word of warning! civvies wont give a toss about ya military service, get over it this is ya new life now, im glad i saw this 20 yrs ago and made my choice then.
 

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