Instead of a throbbing erection, I found naught but a flaccid apology of a penis. I decided to cuddle in to the lucky woman sharing my bed and she denied my advances. This quite simply isn't allowed and I informed her of this. She proceeded to disrespect me further and rather than argue I meekly acquiesced and felt my lip wobble. More importantly I didn't beat the snot out of her for doing so! Discombobulated by this turn of events I made my way to the bathroom and signally failed to have my shit squared away in 5 minutes flat, then I decided that I wanted to have muesli for breakfast, despite previously dismissing it as the work of the Devil. This is my first day as civvie for 24 years. Please tell me they get better.