WO & SGTs mess traditions ?

Discussion in 'Seniors' started by old_bloke, Oct 1, 2012.

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  1. At a civi function on the weekend , I had to go for a piss, so I did. My boss, nice chap on my return did not frown or wave has hands at me mouthing the words "3 bottles of port".

    Now , just why does the mess have this , honestly stupid boys own rule of no pissing until some senior twat decides his bladder is bursting? Is there a historical background to it or is it just an Army thing that is done cos we is hard ( and risk a burst bladder) we do it thing?

    I know that the Navy went away from this a few years ago , aint no thing as a 3 line whip in their messes , so PO's can tell the PMC to "go away" . A few doos with fewer than 10 atendees the rules/stupid ideas were relaxed and , wow more people attended and had a good time?

    Your take ?
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Are you civi or military?

    If military, are you a mess member?

    Was the function in the mess?

    Was a 'comfort break' mentioned in the PMC's address?

    If it was a civi function, who cares?...
  3. Piss off to the Navy - they have more experience of dealing with the lower orders.
  4. Because, basically, we are better tha civvies.

    Hence we still seat our ladies (be they ours or somebody elses), sit in seniority order to break up cliques, pour port for our ladies, etc, etc.

    If the civvies just want to drink blue wkd, glass each other and have a kebab at the end then fair play.
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  5. Never heard of 'Mess Silver' or looking after your Steward?

    Ah, the unmistakable sound of a secret waz into the 'Morrison Cup'

    The glances round the table looking for faces displaying pleasure, he/she was either
    having a clandestine piss or stroking the 'cracked it band' on the Lady seated next
    to you.

    Always try to avoid being Mr Vice if you are partial to a piss, it's a thorough twat
    when the Stickman proposes that you stand to propose the Loyal Toast knowing
    full well your todger will be in full view. Thank fcuk Stickmen only had 10 fingers!
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Ah same old shite spouted from the same old key boards.

    So the Army does it cos we do it, bring back DMS , putties and the .303 lets hope that you diamonds don't get tagged for the next phase of redundancy or the Army will be worse for your loss:)
  7. And those pint glasses of piss always get kicked over the carpet at some point too, quite how this is preferential to getting up, I don't know.

  8. Aaaaha ha ha ha. Chill out old bloke. I'm old and I like formal dinners and I can normally hold my piss until the designated time.

    Most of the recent functions I've been to have had a comfort break at some stage of the game, though it's been noted that the same old faces can't control themselves enough to either moderate their pre-prandial intake or ignore their bladder long enough. These same old faces are generally those providing the port at the next Mess do.

    Simples, as I'm led to believe meerkats say.
  9. Keyboards - how quaint!
  10. If it wasn't for mess functions the average bloke would never get to witness a Fijian Sgt batter his wife into semi unconsciousness.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Oh and as for getting booted out on Tranche 3, so what? I'm only a number anyway, we're all expendable, roll on 11 Oct 12.
  12. Going to answer the questions or just gob off Old_bloke?
  13. Guess you use the arrsehole facebook I am a knobhead interface then?

    unless you use something better ?
  14. Heed, "semi-unconsciousness"?

    You've seen people trying to batter their wives awake?

    Please tell me you're not a medic.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. They are the club rules, if you don't like the rules don't join the club.
    • Like Like x 3