With the RA To Lenadoon

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by roobie, Aug 22, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. "It was the guns that beat us" General Benjamin Menendez, Argentine Army, 1982

    "Wind the bobbin up, pull, pull, clap, clap, clap" Trad. (Arr.Andi Peters)

    For the sake of arguement - and to protect the guilty - we'll call him Second Lieutenant LPJ. He hadn't been in the Regiment long and, even from my lowly position as a Battery Chief Clerk, I could tell that he was having something of a challenging time settling in. The very first time I had set eyes on him had been during an Officers vs Sergeants Mess games nights, when I had noticed him sitting at the far end of the polished oak table, uncomfortable in an ill-fitting suit from Top Man that could have belonged to an older (and heftier) brother. His eyes darted from brother officer to brother officer, his starched white collar consuming his scrawny neck and chin whole. If he noticed that they were laughing at his social faux-pas, at his mistake in wearing an RA tie at a mess function, they didn't show it.

    Well, as it turns out, 2 Lt was a fast learner. Within a month he had acquired a pin-stripe suit, with two had a honey-brown gun-dog trotting at his side. By the time the Battery deployed on adventure training about six months after his arrival, he was managing to carry off the 'county' look with effortless ease; no other middle-class boy from suburban Birmingham would have carried off green wellies with such panache, that's for sure.

    And when the call came to Ireland ('as it had come before'), 2nd Lt LPJ was as keen as the rest of us. It had been a long time since the Battery had deployed on ops (apart from 4 months on the Green Line a couple of years before). Everyone was up for the fight. We would have the chance to do what our fathers had done before us, to do our real job as soldiers of the Queen. Whereas they had once battered down the walls of Ciudad Rodrigo, we would emulate their deads by reading Erica The Eye on the shitter at Fort Whiterock. But first, the dread OPTAG lay ahead of us...

    If you ever wondered what happened to those school bullies who didn't make it onto crime watch, I'm here to tell you that they all found satisfying careers as instructors at Tin City in Sennelager. The very day we arrived, we were informed in no uncertain terms that failure to perform would result in our collective introduction to 'my good friend, Size 9'. Coldstream Guards SNCOs with broken noses, Small Arms School Corps personnel with expectant, weasle faces, a QLR Major with imaginary carpets under his arms. It almost made us pine for the tender mercies of our milkman-capped Provo Sergeant back home. By the end of day one we were thoroughly pissed off and ready to hit The Strip with a vengeance....

    As with the best war memories, the march of time has blurred it all in my mind. All I remember now is the urine-rich front porch of an 'Adult Centre', the warm Pilsner, the red velvet on the walls and the line up of whores from all corners of the world (and beyond). And then - even now, it is so hard to write that it makes my throat quiver - one young Second Lieutenant stood up and saved the whole brick. As he disappeared upstairs with the 18-stone Gabonese hooker, I knew that I had witnessed something rare - an act in the best traditions of the British officer.

    Good bless you, Sir. This is for you, 2 Lt LPJ. Hand on heart throughout.
     
  2. Until the mid-1840s, most Bohemian beers were top-fermented. The taste and standards of quality often varied widely, and in 1838, consumers dumped whole barrels to show their dissatisfaction. The officials of Pilsen founded a city-owned brewery in 1839, called Bürger Brauerei (Citizens' Brewery - now Plzeňský Prazdroj), brewing beer according to the Bavarian style of brewing.[SUP][/SUP] Bavarian brewers had begun experiments with the storage (German: 'Lager') of beer in cool caves using bottom-fermenting yeasts, which improved the beer's clarity and shelf-life. Most of this research benefited from the knowledge already expounded on in a book (printed in German in 1794, in Czech in 1801), written by František Ondřej Poupě (1753–1805) from Brno.[SUP][/SUP]

    The Bürger Brauerei recruited the Bavarian brewer Josef Groll (1813 – 1887) who, using new techniques and paler malts, presented his first batch of modern pilsner on 5 October 1842. The combination of pale colour from the new malts, Pilsen's remarkably soft water, Saaz noble hops from nearby Žatec (Saaz in German) and Bavarian-style lagering produced a clear, golden beer which was regarded as a sensation.
    Improving transport and communications also meant that this new beer was soon available throughout Central Europe, and the Pilsner Brauart style of brewing was soon widely imitated. In 1859, “Pilsner Bier” was registered as a brand name at the Chamber of Commerce and Trade in Pilsen. In 1898, the Pilsner Urquell trade mark was created to put emphasis on being the original brewery.
     
  3. Who is this fucker? :shock:

    How the fuck do you know all this about me?

    I have heard there is a big MI5 branch in Brum in which case I am bolloxed.

    Jesus.......
     
  4. There is indeed a top secret MI5 set up in Brum, its in the Barton Arms in Aston Newtown.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Siince when were bty shiny arses, Chief Clerks? A regiment only has one and he/she was in RHQ! :roll:
     
  6. I like these
     

    Attached Files:

  7. Your wrong on that Recce 19 when the RA had their own clerks the head clerk of that Bty was known as the Bty Chief Clk. As I was one in 19 Fd Regt RA back in the very early 80's even got the stamp to prove it. Also In 19 we never had a she Chief Clerk of the Regt.
     
  8. Considering that was my regiment 1982 - 1994, I know what we had! Each gun bty (not sure of HQ Bty) had a bty clerk (usually a full Bombardier) and a gunner clerk. RHQ consisted of several clerks, the Chief Clerk - who worked there, was normally a SSgt. I will agree with you about it never being a female who held that position; probably because at the time. the Royal Regiment only had one female in the regiments and that was the AAdjt.