******** with 'dog allergies'

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
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#43
I remember a very long time ago, the army got to stay in caravans for foot&mouth in Dumfries and Galloway….Being the army, you had to clean the caravan, to the level it was at when you took it over. Having to apologise to reception that you were unable to flush a two day torpedo was at the time rather memorable. Time limits nothing like them when trying to sink the salway firth with your homemade torpedo….
Must be the first squaddies in the history of the British Army to apologise for laying a log! :blush:
 
#44
Holy ****. He's now complaining because the Hacienda outside is broken. A large, heavy duty ceramic fire pit which is covered, is apparently in pieces.

I'm sure this **** has just stuck his foot through it.

English but with a tan. Second email immediately went on to demanding a refund.

Sigh.

Fcuk, English. I thought I had eyes on the prize there! Oh well never mind, I'm sure he/they will get a complimentary gtf package.
 
#45
To borrow a suggestion from your other 'house improvement' threads, burn it down (with said ****** inside) and claim the insurance?
 
#46
Holy ****. He's now complaining because the Hacienda outside is broken. A large, heavy duty ceramic fire pit which is covered, is apparently in pieces.

I'm sure this **** has just stuck his foot through it.

English but with a tan. Second email immediately went on to demanding a refund.

Sigh.
From Birmingham? Bradford? Londinstan?

Christ the southern cock jockeys are shit snorting downs ******* cnuts.

By South I mean south of County Durham.
 
#47
Holy ****. He's now complaining because the Hacienda outside is broken. A large, heavy duty ceramic fire pit which is covered, is apparently in pieces.

I'm sure this **** has just stuck his foot through it.

English but with a tan. Second email immediately went on to demanding a refund.

Sigh.
course he is English. Offer him a complimentary stay, by way of compensation, and wipe your undersack on absolutely EVERYTHING. Not just the cutlery and cups. I mean the curtains, the phone, the fuckin fridge handle. Every-fuckin-thing. Dog hating bastard.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#49
Fcuk, English. I thought I had eyes on the prize there! Oh well never mind, I'm sure he/they will get a complimentary gtf package.
All may not be as it seems, Oatmeal Savages speak in tongues.
...
English but with a tan. Second email immediately went on to demanding a refund.

Sigh.
Bet I could give him a run for his money though.
However, if he's going to hoof this ouen Mr Bane needs to get his diversity tick in the box.
So if he'll just send the airfare I'll come and be a model guest and praise his bothy to the heavens.
 
#50
Have you ever encountered a problem that couldnt be solved by sitting fully naked on patio furniture and knocking one out in full view of the neighbours?
If you say yes you're a ******* liar.
I've found explosives and/or alcohol to be excellent problem solvers, remember St Homer said

 

MrBane

LE
Moderator
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Reviews Editor
#51
You win a free weekend at an apparently dog hair infested, broken Hacienda'd, cum filled hot tub (well, after I was done with it it was), fire hazard bungalow in Aviemore!

Well done sir. I shall send you the availability dates for the 2040 season next week.
 
#52
You win a free weekend at an apparently dog hair infested, broken Hacienda'd, cum filled hot tub (well, after I was done with it it was), fire hazard bungalow in Aviemore!

Well done sir. I shall send you the availability dates for the 2040 season next week.
Aviemore? Pffffffffffft. May as well be on the moon....
 
#53
All may not be as it seems, Oatmeal Savages speak in tongues.


Bet I could give him a run for his money though.
However, if he's going to hoof this ouen Mr Bane needs to get his diversity tick in the box.
So if he'll just send the airfare I'll come and be a model guest and praise his bothy to the heavens.
Cut's you saw my plan for the prize, mind you it's a bit of a pi55er when most of the regulars on here are deft in the same strategic planning! :-D:-D:-D
 
#54
Holy ****. He's now complaining because the Hacienda outside is broken. A large, heavy duty ceramic fire pit which is covered, is apparently in pieces.

I'm sure this **** has just stuck his foot through it.

English but with a tan. Second email immediately went on to demanding a refund.

Sigh.
Do you have a sledgehammer handy?
 

MrBane

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#58
Get the local piper/ pipe band to have a practise in the garden explaining that there is no law of trespass in Scotland
There is but only if they light an open fire or have a shotgun.

Fire or shotgun.

Fire or shotgun............

Hmmmmmm......
 
#59
Get the local piper/ pipe band to have a practise in the garden explaining that there is no law of trespass in Scotland
Has to be a shïte pipe band though
Holy ****. He's now complaining because the Hacienda outside is broken. A large, heavy duty ceramic fire pit which is covered, is apparently in pieces.

I'm sure this **** has just stuck his foot through it.

English but with a tan. Second email immediately went on to demanding a refund.

Sigh.
Maybe he’s realized his deposit is now forfeit and is just making sure you can’t come out ahead? Time for a midnight electrical fire it seems.......
 

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