WITH APOLOGIES TO RUDYARD KIPLING - TOMMY ATKINS 2007

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by Minnesota_Viking, Dec 14, 2007.

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  1. Just sat here lurking around and thought of a few lines to update the immortal poem:

    I went into a gastro pub to get meself a meal,
    This pay as you dine you see it ain’t no real good deal.
    The quality is pretty pish, and quantities are dire,
    Whoever got rid of t’Catering Corps, has left us in the mire:

    O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy is well paid";
    But nobodies getting shot at Westminster, they’re just getting laid-
    There ain’t no band begins to play, my boys, which means we have less medics,
    And boys get harmed in Snatches and still there are few credits.

    I were sent into a war as lairy as could be,
    Wi’ no proper role or kit, and nobody backing me;
    They sent me to Afghanistan or into South Iraq,
    But there weren’t ever near enough of us, to get ‘em back on track!!

    For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy get on wi’ it";
    But there’s "No more money in the pot," when the fan is hit by shit-
    The fan is hit by shit, my boys, the fan is hit by shit,
    It's "Carry on and do your best”, when the fan is hit by shit.

    Those lads that you depend on, and fund them on the cheap,
    You treat ‘em all like shit and bugger the mission creep;
    Don’t worry that they live in slums, and will do yet for years,
    Why should we treat ‘em any different, why care about their fears,

    Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy 'ow's yer life?"
    Well life is crap he says, according to the wife-
    Life is crap he says, she’s gone home to mum, I’ve said goodbye t’wife ,
    O life it's crap he says, when JPA fucks up your life.

    No one likes us, what do you care, when we’re back in camp,
    Trying to **** your daughters, drinking, and swinging on a lamp;
    But we save your arrse so many times, and do your dirty deeds,
    But all you do is cut the money, and it’s our family that bleeds:

    While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy plug that dyke,"
    But it's "Please to fill those sandbags, sir," when there's flooding and the like-
    And fight those fires, my boys, you cannot go on strike,
    Do some other ******* dirty work, covered in the dung and shite,
    When foot and mouth, or other mess becomes the country’s plight.

    You talk of cuts, reorganisations, savings and the like;
    But it’s getting to the point where we’ll all be on our bike.
    Sort out the quarters and the compensation, and prove it to our face,
    Give us our own hospital, your treatment of our wounded is an absolute disgrace.

    For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "the best little Army that there be!"
    But the Covenant is nearly busted; Labour’s done that to us don’t you see?
    An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' platitudes to appease;
    But Tommy, he ain’t blind - you bet that Tommy sees!


    I know the meter doesn't work quite right in places but wha the ****. Copyright Minnesota Viking 2007. Which means spread it as far and wide as you like, but to the press it's a £1000 donation to the ABF
     
  2. Bloody well said, Sir!!
     
  3. in_the_cheapseats

    in_the_cheapseats LE Moderator

    Min V

    V good!
     
  4. Seconded, well said.
     
  5. Purple_Flash

    Purple_Flash War Hero Moderator

    Very well done indeed; I hope it gets wide exposure!
     
  6. Saw Roger Moore reading it last night, accompanied by pictures of soldiers in WWII and more up to date ones too.

    It was quite moving.

    Edited to add, the original one.
     
  7. Yes, I saw it too and that's what made me think about updating it. Not a patch on the original though.
     
  8. [/quote]
    Yes, I saw it too and that's what made me think about updating it. Not a patch on the original though.[/quote]


    OI! Don`t put yourself dowm MV. That is a well crafted piece mate, well done. And as has been said previously, I hope it gets a wider audience.
     
  9. Very apt MV.

    I've just posted it on another forum I frequent, which will give it an international airing. Hope you don't mind.
     
  10. Bowmore_Assassin

    Bowmore_Assassin LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    I was just e-mailed if from a mate so it is out on the web. Very good Min_V.
     
  11. Awesome, get it on the poetry site that someone flagged up.

    I;ll see if i can find the link.
     
  12. M_V,

    Its just as good, if not more so because it states SO much of what is going wrong today for those serving and those married to serving personnel.

    Thanks for updating it. Well done.

    Wishy :)
     
  13. MV

    You are one talented cookie, well done. When I have extracted it I shall send it and the original around my Potomac Office Block.

    At least here they have a real military covenant.

    AY
     
  14. Class.... well done mate and no disrespect to the original fine work.
     
  15. This would look rather fine on a noticeboard or two in Main Building, no?