Witch Wanted- Job Vacancy

Wasn`t quite sure where to post this......but I AM sure that you Gentlemen won`t let me down with your various comments.

In your own time..........

Wanted: One witch - salary £50,000Wanted: One witch - salary £50,000

Auditions are to be held for wannabe witches who are after a £50,000 job at a tourist attraction.
Wookey Hole Caves, near Wells, in Somerset, is looking for a new witch to teach visitors about witchcraft and magic after its previous employee retired.
The job offer comes with a salary of £50,000 pro-rata based on work during school holidays and at weekends.
The job advert, which appeared earlier this month in local newspapers and job centres, states that the successful applicant "must be able to cackle" and "must not be allergic to cats".
Wookey Hole said it has since sent out 2,319 applications and have received 23 letters of complaint from church or religious groups.
Legend has it that the caves were home to the Wookey Witch who was turned to stone by Father Bernard who had been appointed by the Abbott of Glastonbury to rid villagers of her curse.
Auditions for the role are being held in front of a panel of judges who will assess the applicants costume and character as well as the ability to perform witch tests.
Daniel Medley from Wookey Hole said: "We are expecting hundreds of male, female and trans-gender witches all in full witchy regalia competing for the 50k job opportunity in a X-factor style audition.
"In one minute they have to convince a panel of three judges they are the right witch for the job using whatever props they can carry.
"The grand winner will be chosen o


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Anyone seen The Snail around?
Radio 2 said this morning that 1000 applications have been received....... over 300 of which were men applying on behalf of (and nominating) their mother-in-law!
Mrs G's gran has her own Flying Monkeys and is already experienced. Where do I apply on her behalf?
I have the issue at home - but Private Eye have this sussed. In their view this is another Queensland Tourist Authority scam - you remember the one, the advert for someone to blog from an Island paradise, salary £70k for sitting on your arrse hitting the keys whilst wheelbarowing your bint around some idyllic beach all day....bought them several million £s worth of free advertising after the sheep in the press picked the story up and ran it into the ground.

Same idea, just the UK version is a shitty little cave in zummerzet!
I asked the missus if she was interested.

I knew she had magical abilities cos she threatened to turn me into a single man

I did not have to think too hard for my nomination but fearing the wrath of the mods and not wanting to end up in the same demise as MDN, I am staying on the side of caution - but you know who you are!! Meow!

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