Wish Id said...but darent!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by sawdogxix, Feb 16, 2009.

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  1. Me and the Mrs took the kids for their eyes testing this morning, and after 20 minutes she and the kids get taken into another room for further tests. I'm getting more and more bored by the minute until a midlle aged lesbian couple and their chav offspring enter the opticians. The lady half of this duo tries on 20 or so pairs of specs, while the "male" half oohs and aahs at the glasses, saying, "you look like Olive from On The Buses" at every other pair. Even the staff seemed to be getting wound up by their trying on every pair on display, until the optician himself walks over and hands her a pair that he believes will suit her. "UGH" she says "I don't want to look like my mother!" At this point I wanted to shout out "Why? Was she an overweight, fcuk ugly rug muncher too?" I say wanted to because although I'm 5'9", 14 stone, stocky build and ex infantry, the "man" half was 6 inches taller than me, several stone heavier, and would probably have torn me a new ringpiece!
  2. Beware the muffdivers.

    Especially the ones that quite easily could have taken on the entire 3rd Panzer Division. :twisted:
  3. A few weeks back I was on a bus home and this gross munter stared tutting at a young lad sitting in the 'Priority for Disabled' seat, obviously expecting him to get up and make space for her. He replied by pulling up his trouser leg to show a falsie and said, "Losing your leg is a disability, love. Losing your self-control in Greggs isn't."

    Much as I envy the bloke his courage, I'd still rather have two legs. Running away's far more use to a coward.
  4. At a lesbian 'partnership ceremony' at the weekend and the temptation to shout 'Lesbians can be that ugly? PORN LIED TO ME, NOOOOOOO!' was immense.
  5. So true, not a spikey mullett or England shirt to be seen in a porno!
  6. What a coincidence, I was thinking this the other day, have been doing a bit of research on YouPorn to try and find a dungaree wearing, tattoed, spikey haired, pierced rug muncher with a five o clock shadow, on her chin! But, no they're all fit and bang like the proverbial sh1thouse door, they sertainly seem to enjoy their work. I 'm going to have to go now............... Tissue. Bless You my son