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Wire Names

#1
Is it just me or is anybody else sick of the stupid and pointless names that people are given in our already "wa*ky" corps magazine. For example, "Chalky white", "Dusty Miller" and the latest "windy Gale", nothing personal ofcourse but it really grips my s**t!!!! :x
 
#2
If you are creative and sly it is a way of "Sticking it to the man" as Homer would say :lol:

My favourite is still Sig "Beef" Curtains, The Adj of that unit needed to spend a bit more time round the NAAFI.

Someone has to get in Sig "bumpy jumper" Smith, whos man enough.

What nicknames would you like to see that you could get away with???

:twisted: :twisted:
 
#4
Theres a lad in the Sigs known as "Bertie" because whilst sending a radio message he forgot his phonetic alphabet, and came out with "I spell...B for Bertie...etc. Tit :lol:
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#5
CardCheat said:
Theres a lad in the Sigs known as "Bertie" because whilst sending a radio message he forgot his phonetic alphabet, and came out with "I spell...B for Bertie...etc. Tit :lol:

Tit for forgetting his phonetics yes, but full marks for using another easily identifiable word to indicate the letter. Improvisation & adaptability - great skills. (I take it this was a one-off occurrence ?)


If it was a recurring event then beast the cnut until he learns twenty-six simple words ! :twisted:
 
#8
Heard of a guy in NI called 'Loggy'
New at the unit he had gone on the pop.
Had one to many.
Preceded to Grand Slam in his bed.
Was woken up by the Badge and OC for a block inspection and proceeded
to display his untimely wares on his not so white sheets
Hence the name Loggy. :x
 
#9
We decided to christen this chap"TED" for various reasons-being an annoying cnut was one).Everyone referred to him by this name(although his name was Mike).He eventually gave up protesting and accepted his new label even demanding he be called"SUPERTED".What no-one revealed,even to this very day was that "TED" was short for "SH!THEAD" :
:lol: :lol: :lol:
 
#10
We had a female officer, and when everyone in the Sqn had finished talking to her we said " Well Ma'am, I must dash" Needless to say she had a better tash than I could ever grow! I wish I could have got that one into the Wire!
 
#11
In London district the RO In G4 Quartering was Maj Billett, in Aldershot the EME was Maj Nutt.

At one time the Security NCO at the Lines was called Sting, because as an avid wargamer, he was certainly not considered to be intereSting.
 
#12
On exercise once I herard someone refered to as splong, come endex he was under the impression the name was a term of endearment, but asking someone, he was told that splong was the sound an entrenching tool makes when smacking someone in the mouth! and that if he didnt sort his sh1t out thats what he would hear :D
 
#13
for a while at Hotel tp, 220 Sig Sqn (ah those were the days) our LAD guy, some REME LanceJack was called L/Cpl Lee. or Ugg to you and me.

top bloke but a name crying out for ridicule.

anyway stop wingeing about dopey nicknames, things like "dusty" miller and "dinga" bell are part of army tradition and has been part of Bk room banter for a hundred years or more...

lets start a list to remind ourselves....

Smith = smudge
Bell = Dinga
miller = dusty or windy
Lee = Ugg
Pearce = Ear
Mc****** = Macca (unless its McDonald - then becomes Ronald)
Able = Diz
Lane = Downer

come on!!!!

Rincewind
 
#17
Here's the thing about wire notes having written one or two sets in my time when you do what the editor of the wire wants and that's something completely different from the hello's well dones and what we did on such and such (battle camps, exs, adv trg, etc) then your oscar coconut decides that its just not good enough and you have to re-write in exactly that style. Oh how we dispair!. I mean one set instead of nicknames we made up phoney e-mail address like harrypotter@hogwarts.com for the lad with the round glasses, they were all blantantly bowl icks but but she who must be obeyed took them all out although some where a tad near the knuckle. Well you win some and you lose more! 8O

But onto nick names have come across a few blinders inlcuding a lad whose first day in the gene bay wondered why everyones name was ED! :? I ask ye! That then became his name, we never remember the good stuff only the fcuk ups.
 
#18
Had a lad in our unit called "Shagger". He was made up with his nickname until he found out he was only called it because he F***ed everything up!
 
#20
One of the worst bits in The Wire is where some idiotic writers put everyone's first names in quotation marks, making it sound strangely ironic. You know the old 'welcome to Sgt "Andy" Smith.

[hyperventilate]Arrggghhh...it's not his nickname...it's his bloody name! It should be Sgt Andy 'Metal' Smith. Idiots.[/hyperventilate]

CS
 

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