Winter Olympics- Opening Ceremony

Just watching the festivities from Torino on something like a 10hr time delay because apparently fat American women can't do without watching The Young and the fecking Restless and the LA local news needs to show the latest car chase.

What a fcuking cake and arrse party. I know I've got the better part of a case of wifebeater inside me, but FCUK! More of the usual choreography put together by a bunch of mongs who wouldn't recognise a vagina if it walked up and said hello to them- FCUKING ICE-SKATING TREES FFS! An Alp-horn playing midget from Lichtenstein and now some fat knackers have appeared in white leotards making a XX in the middle of the stadium along with some blokes dressed like ninjas playing mess games with planks of wood.

So far the only redeeming features have been the lovely Signorina Carla Bruni and the Carabinieri with comedy hackles the size of your average conifer tree.

Ooh look. They have head torches and pac-a-macs! Cnuts!

And now the speed skaters with flames pouring from their noggins are back- fcuking cosmic.

Jesus Christ. I need another beer.

Does anybody know on what day I can expect to see that gobby cnut, Bode Miller break his neck?
It was a bit like the visual equivalent of a crossed telephone line- A Verdi Opera on one line, The Eurofeckingvision Song Contest on another.

At one point I could have sworn I was watching a 1970s edition of 'Its a Knockout' -all it needed was Stuart Hall cocking himself laffing when the tress on skates came out and I would have known it was Jeux Sans Frontiers.

What the fcuk were those blokes dressed in white with spacehoppers on their heads all about?- other than a promo for contraception, because for all the world they looked like range glue when viewed under a microscope.

Makes you wonder what the Brits will serve up in a couple of years in London.
BlackHand said:
It was a bit like the visual equivalent of a crossed telephone line- A Verdi Opera on one line, The Eurofeckingvision Song Contest on another.
Eloquently put. The whole 15 minutes I watched were a feast of visual toxic waste. I was rather hoping Eddie (God rest him) and Stuart would come bounding out from stage left to clobber some of these cretins with a baseball bat.

Bit like Belgium really - what's it all for?
You should think yourself lucky Crabs at least you had a skin full. I just can't watch opening ceremonies any more. They have become the worlds biggest pishing contest to see if they can out do the last cake and arrse party. Unfortunately there is no end in sight. With the Commonwealth Games coming up in March I read in the local paper today that they have spent a budget on the opening and closing ceremonies of $A50million. FFS there will be some African and Pacific Island countries that could seriously sort out some problems with that amount of money. It's immoral and as you say it's crap.
Storeman Norman said:
Bit like Belgium really - what's it all for?
Belgium's entire purpose on this planet is to make it as difficult and slow as possible to get from Holland to France.
But why would you want to go to France?
Ord_Sgt said:
But why would you want to go to France?
To get to the tunnel, quickest way back into Blighty. Unfortunately they dont provide showers at the terminal to wash the french filth off you before travel.
I was sort of press ganged into watching this as well, the kids wanted to see what it was all about in spite of me trying to convince them it was all arty-farty nonsense.

Not helped by Yoko Ono babbling cr@p, then I fell off my seat - Peter Gabriel singing Imagine - it made all the rest seem worthwhile.

So how appropriate was this comment...

BlackHand said:
........ have known it was Jeux Sans Frontiers......
Still looking forward to somebody flying off their tea trays whilst shooting down the bobsleigh course.

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