Winter is coming. We need a survival plan

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by TheIronDuke, Nov 9, 2010.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    1) A white T shirt. In case a Hell Wind comes down from the Pennines and it gets cold.
    2) Easy access to an adequate Savloy Dip. Yes, everything on. Do I look like a puff? Extra crackling please. Cheers pet.

    Sorted
     
  2. Anti-freeze in the landy ? jump leads ?
     
  3. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Tsk. It pops a core plug every time one returns from ones winter break around the end of January. Dekka the Monkey puts a new one in then I get him ratted on cider for £5.20. Have you seen the price of anti-freeze? Get serious, do.

    And I park it pointed down on a hill.

    Are you from somewhere down south? Skipton?
     
  4. Tsk, Cider £1.89 for 2 litres from Aldis. He's only a monkey, he won't mind, and think of the saving!
     
  5. Does the Landy have a starting handle? Cranking it will keep you warm when the battery has frozen.
     
  6. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Frozen you say? Glad you could join us, please take a seat. The Landy doesnt have a heater. It is made of Ali and big draughts of freezing air come up through the door frames, dashboard, gearbox gaiter and that ******* great hole under the passenger footwell.

    It does not need a starting handle on account of it always being parked on a hill.

    Everything on a Landy can be fixed by purchasing £5.20 of quality cider for a trusted associate. How do you not know this?

    Are you from York perchance?
     
  7. Did you know that you can reduce the fuel consumption of a Land Rover to half merely by joining RAC Recovery?

    ...and you'll be warm on the return journey.
     
  8. You owe me a fresh cuppa, I've just spat half mineout reading that!!
     
  9. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    I am a patient man, but theres limits.

    If some soft nancy boy puff doesnt ask "Whats a Savloy Dip" in the next 30 seconds, I feel I may have to have a chat with me dear old dead Na-Na. And some of us may remember how that worked out the last time.

    Meh. In your own time, soft southern Nancy Boys. Take notes. We are recording.

    The. Savloy. Dip.
     
  10. Mine does. Perhaps my porridge isn't salty enough, but I've never managed to get it started using the handle. Like The Duke, I park pointing downhill (largely because the starter is knacked and it's an FFR and 24V starters are hard to come by, speshully in France. Hmm. Wonder if €8 of Jura wine would have the same effect as £5.20 of quality cider ...)
    Also popped a core plug when I forgot to add anti-freeze one year. Couldn't understand why the engine was running (oddly) but not developing any power. Thought the clutch had gone. Learning curve as steep as the hills I put the thing up.
     
  11. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    how old is the landy and is it ex mil?

    if it has the underseat tanks you can pop the passenger one open and light it!! that'll keep you warm in your puffy white tshirt. real men would wear a vest.

    and yep from york
     
  12. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    I'd love to respond but 3" of snow and sub-zero temps have fucked the job. We're on our own now. Just big handy lads in white T shirts, and birds who have neglected to put any underwear on before they came out.

    Can you please try to get food parcels to us? Not sheep. We dont do sheep. Thats a Yorkshire thing. Just send cash. We'll muddle through as best we can. Cheers.