Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by 25pdr, May 20, 2011.
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In a similar vein ...
I see you've been sharpening your fangs, dear!
Naaah, can't see the Duchess taking over the Officers' Mess at "Happy Hour" with a bunch of harpies dressed in Primarni finest and getting bat faced on (according to age) "cheeky Vimto" or Port 'n' Lemon while the Duke stands in his growbag on a bit of carpet reserved for Aircrew only showing off his watch & deriding the Guins, who are playing the fruity, interuppted only by the tannoy with messages like, "courtesy call for Kevin, your delivery from McDonalds has arrived"
I can see you've visited RAF Valley
Captain P, you have clearly been to CHOM at Cranwell...
Could we change the wording to
"Living out every RAF pilots dream"
"Getting to kiss a real female"
Marrying a man so proud of being in the RAF that he wears an army colonel's uniform to the wedding.
Indeed ... there are a few Crabs [past and present] who are quite pi$$ed off about that. However, we accept that the Army [and The Household Division in particular] are the Senior Service.
Isn't he still in the Army? Or has he formally transferred to the RAF?
Besides, when one gets married you want to something that makes you look dashing and manly. Hansome and husbandy. Does the RAF uniform really look like something you'd get married in?
Indeed, that would be 'a' Senior Service, 'the' Senior Service being something older.
So he joined the Army briefly ... and then legged it to the RAF. Is the Budgie Corps too rough?
Anyway, I got married in my Crab-fat No.1 and she's still with me, so it's not life-threatening. I do agree the uniform is universally dull, though. Gosh, I really wish I'd had something the colour of baby's diaorreah [sp] to wear
Neither, but I have some experience of being a Pongo in RAF messes. None of these things were life threatening, but a particular dinner-night sticks in the mind when not only did a steward come round between the main course & sweet sic asking for not only our choice of liqueurs for the toast but cash payment on the spot.
The next bit of entertainment was the wife of a late entry officer showing how her foundation garments were nattily made up in Squadron coulours to match her husband's "cummerband". This would have been fun enough were she not a hippacrocadillapig & that the senior guests had not already left...
I also had the misfortune to be on a course at an RAF Station where we were denied lunch in the dining room because it was being set up for another dinner night. We were told to eat from the wide range of in-the-basket snacks available in the bar. Only problem was that there was no service to be had and no tables to sit at because the wives had taken over the place & it was full of buggies & breastfeeding. Nor was dinner (or even a bar) available that evening as the dinner night was on.
How I laughed when I settled my mess bill at dispersal to find it was a PAYD place, yet I'd been charged for meals hypotheically rather than actually eaten...
Won't happen! The financial Mecca that is Holyhead probably doesn't have a primarni!
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