Wind ups and downright nasty tricks

Whilst having a surf around the site, I was reminded of some of the wind ups I have been subjected to and the revenge that was satisfactorily extracted.

There are plenty of them that have gone on down the years, what is your favourite and was revenge as sweet as you thought it would be. Of course its even better if the revengee is deep in the sh1te because you managed to frame him and he knows full well that he is the victim in a sad and sorry mess.

So any takers, I will jump in with a few as soon as my old memory gets a right good jogging.


Strong elastic band rigged to bog seats with 2 hooks and a clothes peg. When victim sits down - laccy band is released to tw@t victim in the nutsack. A bit of wire coat hanger can be added for extra pain.
A guy I knew got invited to stay at his mates pad one leave. The mate pulled a new bird on their first night at the local and then proceeded to make my mate feel uncomfortable and in the way for the next fortnight. He had an old fashioned brass bedstead which my mate found the brass balls on the uprights unscrewed. On his last day he unscrewed all the brass balls and put two shell-on prawns in each.
A trip to pound land to buy one of those god awful musical jingle cards and dismantle it so you have just the annoying music thing.

Handle of a spoon in your vics door window rubber - pop it in and voila they last up to three months, its a bitchto dismantle the door to get rid of the fcuking things also :twisted:
sticking some 'Automatic Doors' stickers on the inside of some full length windows at an office in Donnington, and subsequently watching people carrying hefty, weighty boxes of files and stuff up to said windows then standing there for ages, stepping sharply towards them / waving at them / etc to try and get them to open, before cursing and walking to the actual doors. by which time they were noticing the weight. it was funny further the day it rained.

the guy on the front desk was in on it so it lasted like 3 days before the silly cnut forgot to tell his replacement, who subsequently rang maintenance to come fix the faulty doors, who had to come from a civvy contractor who installed all the automatic doors on the building.... who was natually miffed to get there and find out they had driven half way across the county to remove a pair of stickers off some windows.

this was of course general revenge on the civvy types working at the MoD place who looked down on us and made snide comments.

the other one was when we went on a battlefield tour in france and got booted from the hotel for making loads of noise (and putting somebody's room in the lift) so loads of us shat on room service plates, unscrewed the heating duct covers off the wall and sent the plates down. unfortunately, the officer conducting said tour had by this point negotiated with the owner and allowed us to stay. the place stank for the rest of the time we were there, and probably a fair while after too.
Blowing away a Lt. H from 1 RAR with an F1A1 booby trap switch and far, far more pyro than I was allowed. I'd planned it so that the switch was right beside his head when it went boom.

He, the DS, and the rest of the course knew I'd done it and why (he'd spent the previous seven weeks just asking for it), so I got away with it. :twisted:
urinate into a shallow cookie sheet. put into the freezer until frozen, then carefully remove frozen piss from the cookie sheet and slide under victims door, who is on a 48 hour pass. hilarity ensues.
kyleq101 said:
urinate into a shallow cookie sheet. put into the freezer until frozen, then carefully remove frozen piss from the cookie sheet and slide under victims door, who is on a 48 hour pass. hilarity ensues.
You're sick. I like you. What are you wearing?
Boot polish on Bino's eye rubber - all time classic.
Deep Heat spray on vic's kecks - the gift that just keeps giving.
Topping up mouth wash with p1ss - very hard to detect - especially if you use the 'little and often' method to de-sensitize them.
This young Officer was a member of the Irish Rangers. A typical upperclass twit with a private income.
Not particularly liked amongst the Mick's!

One evening in NI goes around the Sangers checking on the sentries.
He had a habit of grabbing the Sanger Duty Binos to check arcs etc.

The Bino eyepieces has been filled up with Semen by the last four senties!

He came out of the Sanger looking like he'd just had a greek yoghurt shampoo! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Some Battalions Commanding Officers had their own choppers.

One of the Pilots a Lt The Right Honourable was a snotty fellow, he particularly didn't like the Officers Mess Chef.
The fattest ACC slop jockey you have ever seen.
He was however a very good cook.

One evening, the Right Honourable sent a request down to the kitchen,
" tell that fat knacker, I'll have the liver, well done"

The chef fried the liver & then ejaculated over it. 8O

The Right Honourable licked the plate clean :lol: :lol: :lol:
Donkey-Spanker said:
Superglue in the door locks
Potato in the car exhaust
Fill out free trial/estimate requests in their name (can be anything from ride-on lawnmowers to stone cladding)

But the absolute best: You know that small inspection cover at the end of your drive? About 4 inches square? That's the stop tap for your water supply inside. Ask a decent plumber (not some twunt who did a 3 week course) for his key. Go there between Saturday evening and Sunday morning, lift the flap with a screwdriver, then turn the stop tap anti-clockwise until you break the fecker off. Result - no water supply in the house, and a fecking great bill to get the pavement/drive dug up to replace the tap.
Also works if they have a water meter fitted. Turn off and take the tap with you. The breaking of the stop tap, is also a favorite if you get ripped off by any business. So I've been told... :oops:
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